Happy New Year

New Years is always a great opportunity to get dressed up (in more ways than one) to welcome in the new year.

Husband and I are just laying low this year at home, but after the kids go to sleep I plan to spend some extra time taking care of myself. I find that it makes me feel a lot better- touch up the makeup, fix the hair, get rid of any food and booger smears that may have come my way and dress up a bit.

What are your plans?

Any resolutions to improve your relationship this coming year?

Enjoy welcoming in 2012!

Don't forget today is the last day to get And They Were Not Ashamed for $4.99 and it's the last day to get $20 off both The Dating Divas' Books.

What I Wish I'd Known Before My Wedding Night: Part II

Don't forget to check out Part I and other tips for newlyweds.

The wedding's over, the reception is starting to clear out and if you're like most couples, the guy is anxious to go and the bride is finding excuses to talk to relatives she hasn't seen in a while, straightening up decorations and taking her sweet time to head back to the honeymoon suite.

Getting ready to consummate your marriage may be a little daunting, but here are some tips to get you through.

1. Take care of your hygiene. Make sure you shave and do any necessary grooming and cleaning down there. Be careful of using harsh cleaners because they might aggravate the area.
2. Make sure you've discussed birth control beforehand and have that all ready. (e.g. she's been on the pill for a bit, condoms on hand etc.) I'll have to do another post about some options. Yes?
3. Go to the bathroom before having sex. This way there won't be added pressure on your bladder or your rectum. It's really hard to relax and enjoy it when you feel like you have to go to the bathroom. It may be normal to feel like you have to pee or go #2 during sex the first few times so it's just nice to go  beforehand so you have the reassurance that you don't really need to go again.
4. It can be fun to get dressed up into some special lingerie. It will usually make you feel sexier and get you in the mood if you aren't already.
5. Make sure you have a good lubricant. Water-based are really great and you're less likely to have an allergic reaction. They also don't dry out or get sticky gross.
6. Enjoy exploring each other and making foreplay fun. Women typically need a bit longer than men to become lubricated, fully aroused and ready for penetration. Often, it works well if the man manually stimulates the woman to orgasm and then tries for penetration so he can reach orgasm. Women are capable of multiple orgasms so she may have another or more after penetration occurs.
7. Take it S L O W. So many people on the sidebar poll said that it hurt the first time. Your vagina is being stretched out! You don't want it to rip or get super irritated. It takes time to actually be comfortable. Relax. Take deep breaths. Sex is usually not beautiful and sexy the first time. So just take it slow.
8. Speak to your partner. Tell him what you like, what's uncomfortable etc. Sure, it may not seem very romantic, but it's so necessary. He's not going to know what you like and you're not going to know what he likes if you don't talk about it.
9. It may feel a bit awkward and it probably is. Just relax, smile and laugh your way through. I had never seen a naked guy before (and didn't have any sex education) and I was a bit weirded out like "Whoa, that's supposed to be attractive?!"
10. Don't clench! Your butt or other areas. There are vaginal wall muscles that you can learn to control. As you practice Kegel exercises you can learn to control this.
11. Get in a position that is comfortable for both of you. Don't try anything too crazy until you get the basics down. A good position to try first is having the woman on top so she can control penetration and it naturally helps her relax the muscles down there.
12. Be prepared for your body to just jerk around uncontrollably at times. Relax. Let it happen. This is normal. If you're a control freak, let sex be the area where you don't have to be in control of your body. Let go and enjoy!
13. Have a hand towel nearby (like in the drawer of the nightstand). It's kinda messy if he's not using a condom and you used lubricant. Just clean up a bit afterward and you can avoid fighting over who's going to sleep in the wet spot.
14. Spend time cuddling afterward. Men naturally release hormones that make them sleepy so be prepared for him to drift off to sleep while you're anxiously awake. Men, try to spend time talking to your wife and cuddling afterward. Talk about what you enjoyed.
15. Go to the bathroom afterward or use some personal wipes/ unscented baby wipes to clean yourself up and make sure nothing is in your urethra. Sure, it's not sexy, but a lasting yeast infection is way less sexy.
16. Snack and drink water to fuel up for next time
17. Practice makes perfect so practice together often!!

What other tips do you have? 

What do you wish you'd have known before your wedding night?

Special Price: And They Were Not Ashamed

Laura Brotherson is doing a special on her book And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment as an end of year gift. You can currently get the ebook for $4.99. You can also get the hard copy for about $12.

This book is so great for every single stage of a relationship. It's tasteful and informative. I refer a lot of my clients to this book. It's written in such a way you can skip between chapters or read straight through. I especially love the chapter covering The Good Girl Syndrome. Amazon lets you preview a few pages. Check it out and add it to your bookshelf.

Have you read it? What was the best thing you got from this book?

What's Your Love Language?

Hubby and I each took the Languages of Love Quiz. Basically, the love languages are the areas that you feel love the easiest and need to have fulfilled in order to feel like you are truly loved by your spouse. There are 5 areas and they will be ranked by score at the end of the quiz. The areas are: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation.

Wouldn't you know it, each of our top area was Physical Touch! He scored a 10 (out of a possible 12). Mine was a 9 tied with Acts of Service. It's a fun little quiz to take. I was a bit surprised by the ordering of his love languages, though. It's been great for us to know about each other.

I also recommend getting the book to better learn about yours and his love language. For example, maybe his love language is gifts. If so, you're going to have to look at spending money on gifts as a long-term investment in your marriage. Dr. Chapman has a lot of really great suggestions and ways to speak your partners language. He also has books geared toward children, teenagers, singles, men and more.

I'm off to go speak to my hubby in his love language.

Be Still

Christmas is upon us. Be still. Pause. Be present with the ones you love. That is, after all, the gift Christ has given.

Merry Christmas, dear love birds.

Great Gift & Special Offer

Do you love your spouse but miss that excitement you had back when you were first dating? Are you feeling more like roommates instead of husband and wife? Wishing you could reconnect with your best friend?

The Dating Divas are doing a special on their new books, The A to Z Guide: 26 Ways in 26 Days to a Happier, Healthier Marriage and The Ultimate Date Night Book.

Through December 31st, you can order BOTH for $27!! This is such a steal!

I have The A to Z Guide already and it's amazing. It has great tips and stories of marriage and helping to get the spark back or even just increase the spark and love within your marriage.

The Ultimate Date Night Guide has their top date night ideas as voted by their audience. I have a new years resolution to go out more frequently with my husband. This book is great because it does all the thinking for you. I'll just need to pick a day and time.
This would be a great gift for yourself, your spouse or friends that you're not sure what to buy for.