"My husband and I have been married for a few years now. We got married rather young. He's 28 and I'm 26. We like to think of ourselves as a fun, good humored, active couple. We love biking together, watching documentaries on Netflix and cooking together. We're conservative and religious and we're both very supportive of science, education, the arts and positive community projects.
I consider myself to have a healthy sex drive but, unsurprisingly, my husband's sex drive has always been higher than mine. In college I was sort of proud of how well I flirted with guys. I thought that skill would come in handy in marriage but I realized that once married, flirting with my husband would quickly get him turned on and he would want to have sex. I like sex, don't get me wrong, but I'm not always in the mood or ready for it. From my perspective, sometimes kissing can just be kissing, but not for my husband. Once he gets turned on it's a beeline drive for the finish line. He wants penetration right away and then finishes disappointingly (or sometimes mercifully) quickly. I soon trained myself to stifle my flirtatious nature with my husband out of fear that it would trigger his libido. The cycle we found ourselves in wasn't healthy and it was killing the romantic aspect of our relationship. Of course, at the time I had no idea of the damage it was doing. I just thought that marriage was going to be one big sacrifice in the romance/sex department.
After reading posts on GwenInLove about sharing fantasies, I thought it would be good for us to try exchanging our own fantasies. We set up our little fantasy exchange night and I went first. I told him how I liked kissing just for kissing's sake, going on road trips, taking walks up in the hills by our house and other romantic desires I had. I thought I had done pretty well. Then it was his turn and... wham! He laid his fantasy on me. He wanted me to lock up his manhood in a small cage. I was stunned. On the one hand we have my angelic little romance fantasies and on the other his dark, medieval kinky fantasy. At least that's how I saw it at the time. I was already frustrated with our sex life so when I heard the inner desires of his heart, I freaked out. I know I should have listened, heard him through, and tried to understand but I wasn't thinking clearly and, to be honest, I was really only thinking of myself.
That night was a long one as my imagination about the man I married went wild. The next day while he was at work I hit the net. I posted a plea for help here on GwenInLove and another site I follow. Half of me was hoping to commiserate with women who had felt betrayed by their men, the other half was hoping that somehow I would find out that my husband wasn't all that weird. An amazing response followed that you can see on the GwenInLove posts. I was relieved to discover that, although not extremely prevalent, male chastity is a somewhat common fantasy practiced by many "normal" and well-adjusted adults around the world. I felt pretty silly at freaking out and I decided to give an earnest attempt at understanding my man.
I reconvened the fantasy exchange meeting. It took some convincing because he was hurt by how I reacted the last time. I apologized and told him how bad I felt and that I wanted him to feel emotionally safe to share anything that was in his heart. He was still kind of hesitant and I just told him, "The cat is out of the bag now. There's no hiding your desires anymore so let's just go forward." I told him about my online conversations and read him all the comments I had received. He was surprised that I went to such lengths and he started to open up. We talked and talked and he did his best to try to explain it. One of the commenters linked us to other sites and material which we read from together.
The conversation continued for the next couple days until I started to understand a little bit of his fetish. Let me just try to explain it here as succinctly as possibly. When he was in his early teens, my husband started to feel that normal attraction to girls. He developed crushes like we all do, but was too shy, scared or introverted to do anything about them. It sounds like the girls he associated with were probably confident, loud and pretty intimidating. As he got older and his crushes turned more sexual in nature, he realized that girls basically held him hostage by his own infatuation. We've all experienced it to some degree at some point in our lives. When the person we are infatuated with walks in the room, we freeze up, we can't think or talk, we start to sweat and blush and it's intensely pleasurable and painful at the same time. It's pretty common when we're young, but for some reason those feelings sunk deep into his psyche. He came to crave the submissive and erotic feelings he got when a girl exerted that sexual power over him. He has since grown out of his quiet awkward phase and by the time I met him in college he was a smooth, confident man. He is now a manager over many people at a high-stakes company. Yet, that deep yearning to be sexually and romantically overwhelmed by a woman is still lurking under his tough facade. When we incorporated some tame tie-up games in our lovemaking it rekindled that passion in him to submit some part of himself to a woman, to me. I was oblivious to it all, I just thought we were playing a kinky little game. At some point he read about the recent rise in the use of male chastity devices among couples and he was hooked before he even knew it.
Now back to our story. After all this talk and study I started to feel more confident that I understood my husband and I understood his fantasy and I had the guts to follow through on it if he did. I told him I was willing to give it a go. He seemed relieved and nervous at the same time and produced a chastity cage that he had bought earlier. I realized that he must have been serious about this fantasy for some time but had hid it from me because he knew I wouldn't understand. That made me sad and I promised myself that I would be a more accepting person. He handed me the cage and I examined it. It was smooth, clear plastic and didn't seem overly scary. He showed me how it worked and how it fit together to trap the man's equipment without causing injury or any real pain. He showed me the little brass lock that kept it all securely fastened together. It was a very sensual experience as I knew I held a powerful tool in my hands and I could see the effect it was having on my husband as he watched. We put it on him then. I practiced putting it on and taking it off several times until I felt like I could do it without pinching him.
That night we held our own little lock-up ceremony that we had heard others do. We lit some candles, turned the lights down and made it as romantic as we know how. We set a couple of ground rules and a safe work. We decided on a trial run of a couple of days first, just to make sure that it didn't cause any problems. Then it was time to lock him up. We got it all fastened on him. He wanted me to actually click the lock shut. I thought it would be more romantic he locked it and handed me the key, sort of like a token of his devotion to me. But hey, it’s his fantasy, right? I had prepared a line to say at that moment. Right before clicking the lock shut I told him, "Now that you surrendered your sex to me, I will take the honored place in your life that your orgasm once occupied." It was cheesy but I guess it doesn't sound cheesy to a man who has just been locked in a chastity cage. He face was priceless and hugged me tightly. I thought he might cry for minute. Then we kissed. Boy did we kiss. Since we've been married he has never been able to kiss for more than a minute or two before his clothes start coming off. Now with the device preventing an erection, he was brought right to the edge of desire for me without being permitted to go over. There he stayed for hours as we made out, cuddled, talked and made out some more. Much to my amazement we shattered all of our records for time spent kissing, even from when we were dating.
The next day would be his first day at work wearing the device. He was nervous that it would show through his pants but we did some modeling and as far as I could tell it was imperceptible. I thought about him throughout the day and wondered what he must be feeling and thinking. When he got home (right on time) he told me that he had been constantly reminded of me every time he moved, stood up, walked. He could feel the weight of the device like a gentle but firm hand holding him throughout the day, keeping me always just beneath the surface of his thoughts. He said he felt like an infatuated schoolboy again. He felt those same butterflies in his stomach as thoughts and desires for me arose up spontaneously throughout the day.
That night we made sure the device was still fitting OK. He made a small adjustment to it and we decided to go two more days. Those two days flew by and upon further inspection we found that the device was fitting well and causing him no problems. He is lucky. We have heard that many men require considerable trial and error to get the right fit or even the right device. My husband seemed to be made for the CB-6000 which is one of the most popular devices on the market.
Now it was time to actually start playing the game for real. I say game because in many ways it is a game. It's fun and We are both playing it voluntarily. However, neither of us wanted to take it lightly. This is a game that must be taken seriously for it to be fun, so maybe that makes it more of a sport. I asked him how long he wanted to stay locked up. He responded that it was up to me to make that decision. He reminded me that it wasn't his goal to stay locked up for any specific period of time, or to even be locked up at all. It was his desire to hand that power over to me and let me make those choices. I felt a rush of confidence as I responded, "Very well. I accept. You will stay locked up for no less than one week. I reserve the right to extend that if I see fit." It was a little hard not to giggle as I said it but what followed was another marathon make-out session while his member stayed firmly locked in its place.
The next week was like being engaged again. Flowers appeared on our kitchen table. Chores seemed to magically get done around the house. I was treated to spontaneous back massages and foot massages (my favorite). I think my favorite effect was the little smiles and glances we started giving each other. We were meeting each other’s eyes and connecting in a way we hadn't done since we were first married.
As the week went on I kept reading and learning about the chastity experience. I learned that you can't just lock up a guy and expect him to magically turn into a prince. If he feels abandoned or that being locked up is nothing more than a tool to manipulate him then he will lose that erotic excitement and it will become a chore. These devices are only so secure and he may get out the power tools and cut himself free. (My husband is very white-collar and doesn't have tools so for him it would be a trip to the local locksmith, which he would dread.) The key to keeping the game fun and erotic, and therefore keeping it going perpetually, is to continue to stoke his passions while he is unable to fulfill them. It's not difficult to do. It comes down to the three T's: Teasing, Touching and Thongs (i.e. dressing sexy). Of course wearing revealing clothing around him (when there is no one else around) or doing things like bending over or flashing some cleavage will get him going. Brushing against him as you pass one another, or running a toe along his foot while sitting together takes almost no effort and adds to his smoldering file. The most effective, however, is innocently dropping little teasing comments here and there. Some are very straightforward like, "How is my little prisoner today?" or, "It's been so long, I wonder if I can still remember where I hid that key" or, "Are you sure we should see this movie? I hear [insert attractive move star] appears in a bikini and that might get kind of painful for you...". Other teasings are more subtle like pondering aloud what it might be like for me to kiss another girl (one of his run-of-the-mill male fantasies) or even another guy. That second one really gets him going. I also get a rise out of him by using words like "lock", "key", "device", "trapped", "cage", etc. in casual public conversation. He always blushes when I say them and I know I’ve just given him a little jolt. The key to keeping him locked up and on his toes isn't the little brass key I have hidden in my kitchen, it's the constant teasing that keeps his arousal and his emotions high.
Another thing I have learned is that male chastity is a long-standing kink in the BDSM community and much of the resources out there will also point you towards other BDSM practices. You don't have to go there! Chastity has transcended that community and if you don't want to include whips, cross-dressing, or any other activity in your play then you are under no obligation to do so. Never let someone tell you how you should be playing the chastity game. That is up to you and your spouse and you can make it anything you like...
How has all of this changed him? Well, contrary to some of my initial fears it has not made him into a sissy or a freak. He is the same macho confident guy I have always loved. He is still the boss at work and he is still very outspoken and influential among our friends and in our church. He has changed, though. He now knows how to show his love for me. Perhaps it's not so much a matter of knowing how, but a matter of feeling the urge to do so. I think that is the biggest change in his character. He has always treated me excellently, but he now puts my romantic and sexual needs above his own sexual needs. Let me rephrase that: his sexual needs now include putting my romantic needs first, if that makes sense. It's not just a mental thing either. It's not just, "Well, I want sex so I better do what she wants so she will unlock me." He knows it doesn't work like that and he wouldn't want it to. He seems to have submitted something to me on a deeper level and he gets pleasure from giving me pleasure on my terms.
How have I changed? Well, first I am far more confident in my own sexuality. I now have the freedom to express myself without fear of having to submit sexually as a consequence. I can flirt (with my husband) and tease and be as a sexually liberated as I desire and I know I am enhancing the experience for my husband without giving anything up. I think that confidence is spilling into other areas of my life as well. I never would have had the courage to share this story only a few months ago.
The truly ironic thing about all of this is that as we pursued his seemingly stone-age fantasy, the result has been a fulfillment of all of my romantic yearnings. All of our kissing is now done solely for kissing's sake because for him that is the end of the line. We take those romantic walks in the hills. We do all those things I've wanted and we do them because it pleases him too. I don't know how well I've described it, and frankly I'm still learning about it all myself. I don't know where it will lead us, how it will all end or even if it will end. But I know we're having a lot of fun, we're sexually fulfilled and we're closer than ever. If any couples share this fantasy, give it a go! It has the amazing potential to change your relationship for the better."
If you've had successful experience with a fantasy, please email me and share!
If you're looking for a new or first toy, be sure to check out Babeland and Yandy! Some favorites include the Hitachi Magic Wand , the We Vibe, and The Blossom Sleeve.
If you're looking for a new or first toy, be sure to check out Babeland and Yandy! Some favorites include the Hitachi Magic Wand , the We Vibe, and The Blossom Sleeve.
I have a question for the wife. I feel like my libido can diminish over time if I get out of the routine of having orgasms. Do you go the whole time he's locked up without sexual release too? Is it common for the wife to masturbate or receive pleasure even while he's locked up? I know we could make whatever rules suite us, but I'm curious what common practices are and what others have enjoyed or found successful. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteWe've played this game, too. While my partner doesn't get to orgasm, I certainly do. I can have him go down on me, experiment with vibrators or other sex toys; whatever I want. As often as I want. For as long as I want.
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DeleteThis whole idea makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot imagine anything more emasculating. I know, "different strokes" and all, but this seems so unhealthy. It feels to me like a cross between BDSM and castration. What's next? Cuckolding?
ReplyDeleteI can understand how the wife would be frustrated by her husband's problems with sexual expression and premature ejaculation. However, there are a hundred ways to deal with those issues in a manner that is a healthy sexual expression, and which does not involve literal bondage.
Have you ever watched another couple having sex? That looks pretty silly, too, doesn't it. A lot of grunting and thrusting that looks like something that could--and does!--take place in a barn. A lot of stuff looks different from the outside than it feels like from the inside. This is one of those things. I can't explain why I like liver. I also can't explain why my partner likes to be kept in chastity. But you're never going to talk me out of liking liver just because you think it's gross, either.
DeleteI rather enjoyed reading this article for many different reasons. First of all, this couple has been in love for a long time and they have developed a deep mutual trust and respect for one another. You have to really trust a woman to lock up your "manhood". She also discussed this with him at length. If any activity is non-consentual, is in violation of that trust and respect. It could ruin a relationship if not done correctly. He has to be sure that she is also responsible enough to not lose the keys. Notice is said KEYS. Never put anything on that doesn't have at least two keys. I would also suggest that he know to get out of that device should she one day turn on him. Anyone can turn on you, anytime. God is the only one we can really trust. I wish them the best of luck!
DeleteGreat article, it was powerfully worded.
DeleteThat other guy is a douche. Lock his cock up and throw away the key.
emasculating now that is funny. some folks deserve to be but I digress. chastity play is an amazing bonding experience for anyone.... try it, let go of your ego and free yourself (pun intended)
DeleteDon't knock it if you haven't tried it!
DeleteOK. You wear a chastity for a month at a time, and whenever your hubby wants sex, you deep throat him, or give him anal. I bet your tune will change real quick.
DeleteOur use of chastity has not followed many of the fantasy stories.
DeletePre chastity we had sex roughly once every 10 days. It was really on her schedule.
My interest in sex dropped to zero by the fifth or sixth day even tho we were very passionate when we did have sex (2-4 hours not uncommon with lots of intercourse).
With chastity
We have sex almost constantly for six days. I'm not allowed to come but we do have sex. And she's horny a lot. I get into magic mode after about 4 days. I'm very happy, very aware of her needs, and I'm incredibly horny. Literally rubbing against her body horny.
She gives me more attention and more sexual attention. She is the one who breaks and wants me to have an orgasm every time so far. Usually after about 7 days (note that we are on average having sex about ever 3 days and I'm having an orgasm about every 7 days - which is more frequently than without chastity).
I automagically buy her flowers, give her pedicures, and massages, buy wine, brush her hair, and as the person says above we kiss a lot more. I'm also a lot hornier and I never drop to zero interest. My performance is also better with a high school like instant steely hardness after the 4th day. I'm leaking constantly as well.
This really only takes about 15 minutes a day for her to maintain. Since i don't have a recovery period- I can have sex every single day- multiple times a day. And we have. It feels good to have sex- I do get to an 8/10 to a 9/10 of an orgasm.
A little milking prevents blue balls and is also submissive.
Ours is very loving with no cruel or humiliating behavior by her. It's just that I don't get to have an orgasm til she's ready. And it was hard training her to wait long enough for me to get into the magic zone. I think women have a built in need for their men to have an orgasm (somehow it's validating for them). I'd prefer an orgasm per 10 days since that would leave me in the magic zone about 6 days.
Two side effects of the belt.
1) Improved sensativity. I wear a custom made leather belt and I think it protects the penis from any touching which makes it more sensative.
2) getting erections against the belt have increased my circumference from 5" (I'm was 7.25x5") to 6.25" (so now I'm a 7.25x6.25").
At first while reading this post, I thought it was so crazy and weird. I didn't think it would be something interesting at all or something that could work for us. But after going through the whole post I think it actually could be an excellent idea for some people. I mean, of course not everyone (Anon March 22) but for people who are in the same boat.
ReplyDeleteAnon March 22, I don't think it's really JUST about premature ejaculation and frustrations with "problems" but it's more about expectations. The first couple paragraphs describe the exact same things I struggle with in my marriage. There's an expectation in any flirtation. I enjoy doing all those fun flirtatious things- dressing more sexy, being touchy and sensual. But I have begun to hold them beck because I felt like I couldn't do those things unless I wanted to go to bed right away with my husband. It would be SO FUN and LIBERATING to be able to just flirt and have fun like we did before we were married (because we didn't have sex until marriage).
The only issue now about if this would work in my own marriage or not is that it's something I know I would enjoy but it would only work if my husband saw it in the same way I did. It wouldn't work unless he felt good about giving me that control. Ultimately, it would only be a positive thing in a relationship if the man is the one handing over the "keys" because the woman can't be manipulative or controlling the man. It's something that would need to be carefully considered.
But thank you so much for posting about this because I hadn't thought of it at all. It had never entered my mind as something positive - but this could be a fantasy.
Yay! I'm so happy you shared our experience! I just re-read that. Wow, I wrote a ton! Kudos to anyone who made it all the way through! :)
ReplyDelete@Anonymous Mar 21: You're so right. Yes, it's common for the husband to spend a LOT of time pleasuring the wife while he's locked up. I definitely have more orgasms now than before we locked him up. In fact, it's better because he is always asking me if he can, um... "go down", he still provides a lot of the sex drive between us. Only difference is that I can now choose whenever is best for me. And, as stated, since I know that sex doesn't HAVE to be about penetration anymore, I am much more willing to get sexy more often. Does that answer your question? Oh, and as far as masturbation, many wives do take matters into their own hands but not me so much. I get way too much from him to need to resort to that, although I'm not opposed. There have been a couple times where I got myself a little too hot thinking about him yearning for me at work and, well... you know.
@Anonymous Mar 22: No, no cuckolding for us. No BDSM either. Definitely no castration! As I said, when playing with this or any other fantasy, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. For us it's pretty much just the chastity game and lots of teasing and romantic exchanges. Let's not forget, this whole thing was his idea and his fantasy. Even though he is sexually frustrated all the time now, that's what he craves. He would tell you himself that he's not unhappy in any way. He's very happy and excited to be living his dream, fulfilled at a deeper level than just being physically gratified.
Guy here. Loved this post. I think there is something buried deep in many men that enjoys being controlled or teased or somehow subjugated to the will of an attractive woman. There is something exciting about it, something sort of risky and... I don't know, just sexy. I think many men turn to strip clubs or pornography to feed that craving of being fully entranced by a seductress. I would much prefer to satisfy that need by being locked up and driven wild by a loving wife who would never really hurt me, than get it from some computer screen. You've planted the seed and now I really want to try this. Uh oh. Now the question is, do I have the guts to tell my wife? I think she'd pounce on an opportunity like this.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Another guy here - DITTO DITTO DITTO!!! Check out the web for other supportive articles just be patient while having to sort through all the crazy kink stuff. Particularly focus on male orgasm biochemistry, benefits of male chastity, science of male orgasm, neurotransmitters male sexual response and bonding!!!
Delete@Anonymous 8:48: You hit it on the head. When I wrote this letter is was sort of my *own* experience with opening up and embracing my DH's fantasies. It turned out wonderful for the both of us, including a lot of surprise benefits for me. As I think of it in the broader picture, however, the more important story here is that we took a risk to help *him* experience his fantasies. He's actually living his dreams now, and that is the most important thing.
ReplyDeleteAny woman reading about the great side effects may want to put her man under lock and key right away. I think you're right that it's really only going to work if it plays into his sexual desires to submit something to his woman. If not then it's just going to be manipulation and not very fun at all.
Having said that, I think there are a lot of men out there who may have this fetish and not even know it. My DH thinks it's more common among men in high-stress jobs or positions of power. If you like the idea of this game, it's possible that a little gentle exploration into the idea could ignite something. Also, DH says the game is much more exciting when the wife initiates things. He goes wild when I take charge and lock him up, instead of him having to ask to be locked up. I mean, if he's asking and begging, then he's really in charge and driving it, not me. Therefore, it's possible there are men out there wishing their wives would take control, afraid to ruin the fantasy by asking for it.
Now it is possible, although I bet it's pretty rare, that there is a woman out there who has the fantasy of locking her guy up. If so, you too deserve to have your fantasies explored. Tell him what you want and how it makes you feel and he may be willing to give it a go to help you experience your own fantasy.
-Original Poster
I wish more women were like you.
DeleteYour right positions of power & high stress I have a job that is both...
DeleteI want to go under lock and key, my wife knows it but she responded to a message I sent her the other day saying it sure as shit doesn't turn her on... So basically she has now told me cause it does nothing for her it's off limits
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI was googling around and stumbled across this and thought I really had to comment.
I am man in a very loving marriage of two years (been together for nine) and until last year never thought for a second that I'd be prepared to be locked up in some chastity cage. What a weird thought!! What kind of freaks would do that!! Etc. etc.
I have always loved pleasing my wife sexually and the ultimate foray into male chastity did kind of stem from a little exploration into BDSM. I like strong women and felt an association with that at the time, which led to me finding out about male chastity (and being surprised at what a turn-on the idea was).
I introduced the idea of my wife making the rules in bed; even of her being allowed an orgasm during sex while I was not. I found the power play intensely erotic - and so did she, as it turns out, though I think she felt somewhat guilty about it.
The chastity thing was something different - I found the idea intensely erotic but scary and difficult to broach at the same time. I brought it up once or twice and my wife would joke about "locking me up" as a punishment. The reality is that it's not a punishment - it's a lifestyle. As my wife's control in bed grew, I had the confidence to order a device. She found it a bit bizarre at first but was willing to give it a try.
After a few false starts I think the turning point came when I made it very clear to my wife how much *she* could get out of the experience. All locked up and nowhere to go, I channel all of the sexual energy I would otherwise have dribbled away into fussing my wife - giving her massages, etc. Even a simple kiss is now also a huge turn-on for me. All the extra attention and all that control has now made my wife a huge fan of having me locked up.
CONT
ReplyDeleteI have a *very* high sex drive; my wife's is somewhat lower. Putting her in total unequivocal control prevents arguments, and actually gets me *more* sexual attention than I was getting before. Sure, I might not orgasm, but for me the whole process is more important, she now things about sex a LOT more, and when I do get release it is spectacular. I als love the fact my wife is now the only person who can give me thst pleasure.
She is also becoming incredibly adept at teasing me. Being "locked and left" is not the way to go and breeds resentment. Before our chastity experiment my wife had never brought me to orgasm with her hands, as she was too nervous, and I was too nervous of letting her down. Last week all that changed. As she was stroking me (quite expertly now after having given me no small measure of attention over the previous month) she told me that she was going to count down form ten and then stop and lock me up for another week, no matter what. Just as she reached one the inevitable happened. That was another big turning point, I think.
My wife has been through a LOT of difficulties recently and I know for a fact that this has helped her grow in confidence. She is almost like a different woman in many ways. The key she wears around her neck (not the actual padlock key which is ragther ugly) symbolises her power over me and her power over her own life.
This week we both signed a contract which cements our agreement. I have no right to amend the agreement and must give her six months' notice if I want to end the experiment. She can end it at any time. We find this showed to each other how much we really want to continue experimenting with the lifestyle.
It's about exciting sexual activities, sure, but it's just added another element to our relationship. I'm a strong man too, with a very stressful job, and it's fantastic to be able to "let go" and entrust such a personal part of me to my darling wife. (I do also associate with having awkward hang-ups around girls when I was younger... but then who doesn't! Maybe one reason why it's becoming so popular!)
It's far from being a seedy or sordid thing, and we practice it without any "yes mistress, I'll lick your boots mistress" stuff - it's just another part of our relationship.
It's freaking weird but fantastic at the same time.
@Anonymous 1:27,
ReplyDeleteThat's wonderful that you had such a positive experience and that your wife was able to enjoy this play/lifestyle with you. I think you're so right that many fantasies are very one-sided. One partner gets all the benefits or pleasures and the other partner is either bored or is sacrificing in some way. Male chastity play is one of those fantasies that can be very pleasurable (albeit frustrating) for the man who has the fantasy, but also very rewarding and beneficial for the woman who is playing along. It's pretty amazing.
I also really liked how you mentioned that it can be played (if that's the right term) all by itself. It doesn't need to be accompanied by BDSM activities like boot licking, whips, chains, etc. Of course if someone *wanted* to include those activities that would be fine too.
Thank you for sharing your story! It sounds just like our story and so many others that I have run across in the past few months. You are a lucky man to get to live out your fantasies with such an amazing wife.
This post read like an incredibly cheesy anonymous letter to a girly magazine.
ReplyDeleteHa, maybe so but we're not all as kinky as you @Anonymous 10:17. Some of us like a little mild chastity play with lots of romance and without all the whips & stuff.
ReplyDeleteSo have any other girls really tried this with your guys after reading this? I think this is kinda very hot and showed the story to the hub. He said "I wouldnt last a day without being able to touch myself." But he did NOT say no! I remember! Lol
ReplyDeleteWe're trying it and so far it's been a blast. We got a 6000 about three weeks ago. We took it slow at first by locking DH up for just one day at first. I teased him, he squirmed, he was fascinated by the sensation and a good time was had by all. Then we took a break for a week and just pondered our experience. Then, one day he came to me and said he wanted to play some more. So we did a two-day stint, followed by a short break, then a four-day stint. Now he is working on an 8-day sentence and is as sexually frustrated as I've ever seen him (a very good thing). For me it's a lot of fun to tease him and to get to call some of the shots in the bedroom. For him it has been very exciting to give up some control and not know when I will let him free. If your hubster think's it's interesting you should give it a shot. We're LOVING it.
ReplyDeleteGlad you guys are loving it! We're still going and our experience with male chastity has never been better. I can't speak for everyone who has tried it but it just keeps getting more exciting and more fun for us.
ReplyDeleteOne thing becomes clearer to me the more we learn and talk to other couples who are experimenting with male chastity. That is that everyone does it for slightly different reasons. Many just do it because it's romantic. Others do it to kick a porn habit or for other practical reasons. The "50 Shades" fans do it because it's kinky (to them). Some do it as a way to demonstrate mastery over the body. I think most folks, ourselves included, do it for some combination of these things. Furthermore, that blend seems to change as time goes by.
By the way, given all the media attention its getting, I would love to see a post about 50 Shades.
-Original Poster
I think this would be a great Fathers Day gift. What to get for the man who has everything? A CB-6000! Then ever subsequent year is easy. Just promise to unlock him and he will be happier than receiving any tie or video game you could ever buy.
ReplyDeleteWe would be considered "normal" folks playing this game. We have been married much longer, and while we were happy our intimacy grew stale as it does with many couples. We looked into ways to heat things up, happened upon chastity and gave it a try. We stumbled when we started a few years ago, but we found our way to the right devices, and I got used to wearing one (we have several devices). We were both rather embarrassed in the beginning, but now find it very rewarding to play our game of chaste attentive husband and happy key holder. My wife has become good at making sure I can't find any of the keys. For the holidays I purchased a necklace she wanted, which she often wears around our house to hold one of those elusive keys to give my frustration a boost. This is all by mutual consent, and should only be done by adult couples who trust each other. For fun, my wife often discusses whether she should mention our game to her cousin, whom she is close to like a sister. But this is a tease as well.
ReplyDeleteAs a guy, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually think I'd let my wife lock me up like this if she thought it would be fun. Although as a Christian, I have to warn against even those fantasies of having a third person involved in the marriage bed. Even aside from spiritual beliefs, this is playing with fire. I do see the erotic appeal in chastity play and enjoyed this story, but it should be all about the husband and wife.
ReplyDeleteAs a hedonist married to a bisexual woman we had a threesome with her girlfriend for 35 years and we prospered and lived the good life. Our marriage is on its 43rd year and going strong. I am currently locked up for the next two months. I highly recommend fantasizing and even a third into your marriage. 35 years having sex with two woman was fantastic. Now we have gone the opposite way with Chastity.
Delete@Anonymous July 15, 2012 10:43,
ReplyDeleteI agree that it can be dangerous to mess around with adding people to a couples' intimace. Way to go for being so open to trying chastity play, though. You should have your wife read this article. :)
I told a friend of mine about this recently and she thought it was a hoot. She told her fiance and he laughed and laughed and said "there's no way in heck you'll get me in one of those things." After that he wouldn't let it go, always joking about it, saying when they got married he was going to sleep with one eye open in case she tried to put him in one. Of course she played along and teased him about it.
Apparently it made a deeper impression than he realized because one day he told her that when they got married that he didn't want sex to get boring and that he was willing to give the chastity device a try if she wanted to. She said she was just playing around and that she didn't REALLY want to do it. But it seems like the more he thought about it the more he was drawn to the idea like a moth to a flame. He started to really crave being locked up by his fiance.
At this point she was sort of freaking out because the wedding was almost a month away. She came to me for advice (since I told her about chastity in the first place) and I said she should give it a try. I helped her pick out a CB-6000 starter device and she presented it to him on his half birthday during a candle-lit dinner. She said it would help them avoid temptation before the wedding (since they were waiting to have sex until after marriage).
I'm not privy to all the details but I know it has been going well. She LOVES teasing him and getting him panting to be unlocked. She told him she isn't unlocking him until the honeymoon and he agreed. I'm helping her choose out a nice metal device (the same one my guy wears) and it's going to be our wedding present to them.
So is the chastity thing still working for them? Did he get tired of it eventually?
DeleteGreat article. I wish more women understood the things that you were brave enough to research and try. I hope this gets around... many couples would gain from this knowledge
ReplyDeleteI'm coming late - very late - to this, but I just got word that I was referenced in one of the other posts on this. I just wanted to weigh in on something that I noticed.
ReplyDeleteThe second comment on this post was this:
This whole idea makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot imagine anything more emasculating. I know, "different strokes" and all, but this seems so unhealthy. It feels to me like a cross between BDSM and castration. What's next? Cuckolding?
I can understand how the wife would be frustrated by her husband's problems with sexual expression and premature ejaculation. However, there are a hundred ways to deal with those issues in a manner that is a healthy sexual expression, and which does not involve literal bondage.
Unfortunately, this is the kind of attitude that we see for many non-vanilla sexual encounters, and it comes from a lack of education, and an unwillingness (or inability) to see things from another point of view.
My wife is Christian, but it doesn't stop her from wanting to be sexually creative, or to keep things interesting. We both (I repeat: both) enjoy this play, but we consider it anything but emasculating; in fact, it's because I'm a healthy, testosterone-filled manly man that she enjoys this so much: it gives her a feeling of power to control a very obvious (not to mention intimate) aspect of my sexuality.
I've written about this on my own blog, but the bottom line is this: She wants to make sure that I’m ready for those occasions when she wants it, and she wants my manly, male energy tightly controlled so that she can focus it at her own discretion. To us, it's an erotic game, and has nothing to do with punishment or emasculation or anything else, except the opportunity to make things a little exciting after 20+ years of marriage.
Sure, some people actually do combine chastity devices with other aspects, such as humiliation, cross-dressing, etc. But that doesn't make chastity play itself bad - it's just another sex toy. I'm even not suggesting that anyone else needs to do this; it just so happens that a little bit of erotic power exchange is something that works for us.
BTW, great blog. Keep up the nice work.
Here's the direction I'm going with this. We will use the device in play, but she'll remove it after only a few minutes of wear. 8(. Last week though, she put the key on a necklace (w/other trinkets) and jingled it when I came home from work. I said, "Yes ma'am" and put it on-4 hours later, best sex ever.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought on this...I travel quite a bit and am away from my wife. I have a good amount of self-control, however, I need a little reminder to help me. I put on the device almost immediately when I arrive in the hotel room at night to not have a release. She would understand if I did, but this works for me. I hold the key, but I have to think twice before I do anything. Am I the only husband that does this? Please, no smart remarks, this works for me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I mentioned chastity to my wife originally she was excited a little and wanted to use a brass lock with a key I told her that wasn't an option due to metal detectors at the airport. I told her it would have to be a numbered tag and she could have a photo of the number and we could both have a key if she wanted to use the brass lock so I could remove the brass lock and leave the plastic numbered lock for traveling through airport security, I told her she could take a photo of the numbered lock in place and check it again when I returned from working away, and I would send a photo showing I would put the brass lock back on after travelling through airport security, she didn't want to hear of that and then the topic became dead in the water.
DeleteNot the only one. Being alone in a hotel room used to always lead to rubbing one out for me. Now I travel with a cage (sometimes in a bag, sometimes worn depending on if it's air travel). The constant reminder makes me ache to return home to my wife and her comforts.
DeleteI only wanna say thank you for this information in this article about my lovelife and the tips you wrote. I think this is a good advice that you give me.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this article. I found it reassuring that other normal couples enjoy this practice.
ReplyDeleteI've been fascinated by enforced chastity for years. My wife is finally warming up to it and is enjoying herself as well.
Thank you again for such a good article.
(Guy here, no seriously, I'm a guy)
ReplyDeleteI think your article is wonderful. I appreciate how you have written your post in a manner that displays male chastity as something about trust and love, rather than the idea which many outsiders have of it being mistrust.
What I mean by that is some people who do not understand male chastity see it as a way of physically preventing him from betraying you (mistrust). Whether she considers betrayal as masturbation or having sex with other women, it doesn't matter, that's not what it's about for most.
You have written this article the way I think most men who partake in chastity also see it, about trust. When a man asks a woman to lock him up, he's asking to become completely emotionally and physically vulnerable to her. The man trusts her to the degree that he will surrender his orgasm to only her, to let her control the best physical feeling in his life. He trusts her to take that responsibility with humility and love.
Sex and trust are the foundations of love in the strongest relationships. Chastity is a erotic way to explore the greatest depths of these two qualities. Chastity will certainly bring the relationship to a much deeper and more intimate place than before, and both partners will trust and love each other more for it.
I loved this article. My wife and I do the very same thing. I hlso have a CB-6000 and it is absolutly confortable. She has me put it together but she locks the lock and holds the key. She has me wear it for days, a week, sometimes even more. Seems the longer I wear it the more aroused I become. She too will make the little comments and that's part of the fun. She is a wonderful tease. She loves to have me watch as she plays with her toys, and then times I pleasure her with her toys as she enjoys the attention. So erotic. It was all my idea too, and when she saw what it was and how erotic and fun it could be, she was a natural. BTW, when she does let me out after some time of being caged, explosive orgasm...over the top!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I recently had these conversations! Honestly, he, as wonderful as he is, would not stop touching himself. Often times he would be unable to perform when the two of us had the time to make love because of previous "play time". He introduced the idea, as I've been loving it. He can't touch himself and he LOVES that he can't do anything without it being almost painful (imagine putting your hand in a too small mitten and trying to make a fist inside, then amplify that discomfort by a lot). He still has to pleasure and satisfy me. I will say, the passion is way turned on. The simple things like the way my hips sway when I walk, or bending over (not even trying to be sexy while doing it) have become HUGE turn ons for him. Theres also the fact thr he cannot stop telling me how beautiful and attractive and sexy he finds me, and won't keep his hands off me and has become an even more wonderful comforter when I have a hard day. This is huge for someone whose love language is a tie between physical touch and words of affirmation. Especially when my husband scores almost 0s on those two categories!
ReplyDeleteHi Becky,
DeleteI was just wondering if you could please provide an update as to how things have been going with you and your husband. I wish more women were like you ;)
Hmmm, this sounds like it could be a lot of fun...
ReplyDeleteI've tried it with my wife and it can be a lot of fun. Just needs the openness to discuss and try it.
ReplyDeleteLet me preface my comment with this: I am a straight, married male but, more importantly and for the sake of this comment, I am a paid researcher.
ReplyDeleteAs a researcher, it's my job to find, identify and connect dots in a very methodical and consistent way. Being that my brain has been trained to think in this way over the years, I decided to conduct a VERY personal research project.
As is the case with any research project, the first thing I did was to look at the known facts. Fact #1: My wife loves when I am romantic and attentive. Fact #2: I am only romantic and attentive when I feel like being romantic and attentive. Fact #3: I only feel like being romantic and attentive when I "yearn" for my wife. Hypothesis: In order to keep my wife feeling romantically satisfied (or keep her "love tank" full), I have to figure out a way to remain in a state of "yearning".
Realizing the above conclusion led me to sitting down with my wife and telling her that it was really important to me that she felt completely fulfilled in our marriage. I want her to be smiling from ear to ear, all day and all night. Seeing her like this makes me the happiest person alive. No, she can't always have "her way" because this isn't a dictatorship, but she certainly has a husband who is more willing to listen to her before offering an opinion or solution.
Neither my wife nor I like the idea of "sissifying" or humiliating each other. It doesn't appeal to either one of us. My wife likes her men to be "men". This leads to the question: What defines being a "man"? In our society, a "man" is commonly referred to as a human being (with a penis) who does what he wants, says what he wants and always has the last say in his marriage/romantic relationship. The term "man up" comes to mind. Now, maybe that is what some women like in a husband, but for my wife, she doesn't see it that way. To her, a man is a person who listens to her when she talks, thinks about her needs, both physical and emotional, provides support in whatever way possible, etc. These are the reasons that led to us experimenting with chastity.
My wife and I have an arrangement that says that I only wear the chastity device if one of two situations presents itself. First, I don't wear the chastity device unless I feel that it's an absolute necessity. Let me quickly explain: The ultimate goal is to not ejaculate for a period of time. Therefore, if I begin to feel an urge to force that ejaculation, I tell her. And I don't tell her because she demands that I tell her, but because I want to keep being attentive as a husband. Ejaculating doesn't mean that I won't be attentive, it just means that I won't be AS attentive. This seems to be true with most men. The other situation is if SHE feels it's necessary. If I begin to get in a mood that makes her feel unwanted, I've given the "okay" for her to lock me up in those instances. When those instances arrive, I don't argue...I just say "okay". My guy friends would call me a "bitch", but I can promise you that my wife is happier than theirs.
I'm still in the process of connecting the dots, but as a couple, we are much happier today than we've ever been (except for maybe when we were dating). Not to mention that this is beginning to have a positive impact on elements that are outside of my marriage.
Original author, thank you for taking the time to articulate your thoughts and sharing your experiences publicly. It was a very encouraging, realistic and good read. Stories like yours need to be seen by more "normal" people to combat the common "chains and whips" perception that most people have when it comes to this topic.
Gotta say, this is prolly the most interesting and fascinating article on this site. Or any site. :) It's got me thinking... who can I lock up... ;)
ReplyDeleteOK, we are so trying this! We are still in college and we're basically newlyweds (married last November). He loves me to tie him up (nothing too crazy) but our little apartment has very thin walls and we live in a VERY conservative college town. Last summer (before we were married) we played a little with some handcuffs. I would handcuff him to a tree when I went into my evening class (2 1/2 hours!) each night. I hated that class but loved the idea that he was just outside, helplessly waiting for me. A few times I had to ignore him and walk right past after class because my classmates were chatting with me. I hat to cirle aruond and come get him later.
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty dark at that time and we thought he would be hidden in the bushes but campus security eventually caught him out there one night. They thought he was a stalker or something but he managed to convince them his buddies were playing a prank on him. ANYWAY that put a damper on our adventures. We think this chastity device play might allow us to have a little fun on campus without getting caught.
Also, I'll be going to Europe several times over the next year to complete my MA. The uni pays my ticket but we can't afford to fly my hubby out there every time and he has his own studies anyway. So I'm thinking I'll lock him up during my first trip this summer which is about three weeks long. I'm really looking forward to teasing him over the phone and keeping him on his toes. I have so many devious ideas in my head to keep it fun for both of us.
If that goes well I have another trip at the end of the year that is two months long. Then, some time before I graduate I need to do an internship. If I get the one I want it will be a 6-month stint in London. If he could work up to being locked that whole time it would be super cool. The thought of him being constantly on the edge for me for so long it really exciting.
Hmmm, if this works out then by the time we graduate he will have spent more of our marriage locked up than free. Very nice! Wish us luck!
How did it go finally?
DeleteMe again! I just booked my trip to the UK for Aug 7-29. We've only got a couple weeks to work out this new chasity game and make sure the device will fit. We got a CB-6000 in the mail yesterday and so far it's pretty good. He got a rude awakening this morning at 5:30 with the whole...um you know. If this one is too uncomfortable for sleeping in the mornings we may try another one but we're running out of time.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about safety. I started to get worried about what would happen if he needed out for some emergency. I can't really think of what that would be but, you know, girls worry. I'm planning to tie one of the spare keys to the inside of a bush or shrub by a little thread. He will have no idea which one and there are hundreds in our neighborhood. If he really needs to be set free while I'm gone he can text me and I can text back which shrub his key is in. Just an idea.
Anyway, we're giddy with excitement. Ciao!
Glad to see a young lady adopting such a wonderful lifestyle. It's not everyday I see a woman embracing this lifestyle, even though it really is to the benefit of all women if you think about it.
DeleteAnyway, I just wanted to suggest that you purchase a more secure chastity device. There are steel devices out there that actually attach to genital piercings and make it virtually impossible for him to slip out of and "cheat", something that is notorious with plastic devices like the CB-6000. The steel devices are considerably more expensive, but well worth your peace of mind. Most women I've heard from who've chosen chastity for their men said they wish they discovered steel sooner and never wasted their time with plastic.
I strongly suggest you take him to a good piercer as soon as possible and get a Prince Albert style piercing. Once it has fully healed after a few weeks, go to chastitytube.com, a site run by Miss Lori, a woman devoted to keeping guys chaste for their ladies, and order a new steel chastity device from her that hooks onto his new Prince Albert genital piercing. Also, the lock she uses in the devices she makes is a special tiny screw that can only be unlocked using the key. She is so devoted to ensuring guys stay chaste for their ladies that she refuses to send spare keys to any guy requesting it without his lady's permission.
As far as emergencies are concerned, oh please, wanting to masturbate is never an emergency. If it's a real emergency, believe me, the ER can cut off. With male chastity, it's important to never give in to his whining. He is just going to have to accept the fact that you are his wife and his sexuality belongs to you now. You will not tolerate masturbation or disobedience. If he wants an orgasm, he is going to have to earn it through chores, romantic gestures, and great oral sex. If he is disobedient, he must be punished by prolonging his stay in chastity and even using corporal punishment when needed. Trust me, if you whip him on his balls a few times for whining about being chaste, he will not whine again. He must learn through positive and negative reinforcement.
This really is going to be life changing for you. You will never have to cook or clean ever again. You will also get more orgasms through oral and strap on (dildo) than you could have ever imagined and you will have the most romantic husband constantly showering you with gifts, affection, and compliments about how beautiful and sexy you are. I guarantee that you will never ever go back to the way things were.
Good luck and please let me know how it's going. I'll be checking the site periodically and will gladly help you along the way as you become his queen!
So how did it go? Did you work out the sleeping problems?
DeleteFYI with the cb range of chastity devices there is a built in safety mech, not obvious but it's there, the plastic locking piece can be snapped in event of an emergency, and you can obtain replacement locking pins from cb chastity device retail outlets and or the cb company itself.
DeleteAnonymous that possted on July 30th 2013 It is you I am trying to reply to.
DeleteI am totally captivated by your post. I'm thinking that a woman who is as knowledgeable, confident and self assured in all this as yourself would be too much for me but I have come to realise I'm wrong.
I know from the past I'd try to top from the bottom and I know that someone like yourself would not allow that. I know someone like yourself want us to fully enjoy our sex lives but purely on her terms, we'd hopefully have intercourse too, not as often as I'd like I'm sure and I would only get to orgasm at her whim. She would I'm sure enjoy making my periods of denial much longer than I would choose. Which I think I could learn to accept if it was making me a better partner.
The ball whipping or any kind of whipping does not sound enjoyable but its not meant to and it would only be for my own good as my partner strove to bring out the characteristics in me that she most wanted, and because of that I would not only have accept her chastising me I would have to thank her for her perseverance.
I never thought I'd hear myself say this but I'd really like to meet and develop a permanent relationship with a woman that has your mind set equals in all aspects except where it matters to her.
Sounds almost unachievable but something to aim for.
Hi all,
ReplyDeleteI'm very curious about this topic. My wife and I have never discussed male chastity devices, but we have noticed how much more attentive I am after a few days. This article has me thinking this may be something fun to try, if my wife is open to the idea.
If the original poster is still around, I'd really love to know how things have worked out. Is this still something you and your husband enjoy, or was it just fun for a little while?
Thanks! Fun thread for sure.
Great write up, thank you for sharing! My husband said he would try it too so we’ve been looking up information as well. I just read a related article https://www.slixa.com/late-night/451-male-chastity-and-orgasm-control-the about how erotic, romantic and sexy it can be for a man to have this device to control his orgasm. What a great invention, I can’t wait to try it!
ReplyDeleteDid you guys ever try male chastity play? How did it go? I'm looking to try it with my guy too.
DeleteI thought if I were going to post here, at least I should not be totally anonymous. I have been practicing chastity from a different perspective. I am single, with no significant other. I too began to feel that my masturbation was 'getting out of hand'.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have elected to do is use an online key holder. I will upload a picture of a changeable combination on a wall mounted lockbox to this online key holding website. I then put both keys to my lock in the box, close the lid and scramble the combination. I purposely located this box on a wall in my house that I frequently have to pass by, so I can see it as another reminder of what I can not have for an undetermined amount of time.
Here is a bit more detail. I take a picture of the combination, then upload it through my computer to the online keyholder, and immediately delete the image from both my camera, and computer. When setting the parameters on the online keyholder I will place a certain amount of weeks in, but then look away and just tap numbers at random for the number of days, and hours while not looking. I can also set the online holder to randomly, but approximately release the combination numbers to me. I can also set it to totally hide the release date, and time. This way I know the number of weeks, but not days I am forbidden access to my combination, keys, and 'other things'. Yes in an emergency I can access a code to release the picture early, and even this can be omitted which I have done sometimes to add some fear factor to this. The truth is, a person can cut off the lock with a cheap set of bolt cutters if needed, so it's really not that risky. Watching for circulation of said area is the most important part.
Feelings of dismay at not being able to touch down there were felt, and expected. What I missed most was not feeling shower water hitting me there was the unexpected surprise. I also did not realize how much I touched myself while showering until after access was taken away by myself, and my computer. Eliminating my access through self imposed chastity for various amounts of time has definitely been a positive step for me to have taken, I would not consider it a negative, and I do not regret it at all. I am certainly more focused on other aspects of my life now. If a person or couple are intelligent enough to keep the health aspects of this in mind, I do recommend at least trying it.
Me and my wife have been doeing doing this for the last four years. Normaly I am locked up for at least seven days but it has on occasions been a month when she realy wants to drive me nuts. She takes great pleasure in teasing me. And stroking her pet through the bars of its cage. To those of you who dont understand. Its not the fact that you cant orgasm. Its that its delayed untill your wife decides when its time.her teasing keeps bringing me right to the edge but I am unable to go any further. But then she might do this a number of times a day. Something I could never manage if permited to go all the way. And as to added intamacy. Yes we do kiss and cuddle a lot more. She has admitted herself that she no longer worries that a bit of heavy petting may go further than she wants. So did not let it get started and then worried how I felt if she did not respond. She is now in control and decides how far it gos and I understand that.put another way its like the feeling you had when you were a child waiting for xmas all the exitement and anticipation before the big day. But once its done a bit of an anti climax. Male chastity prolongs that anticipation. Yes being brought to the edge is not quite the same but my wife has learnt how to keep me at the edge for ages and bring me back time and again. Its worth it
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have played with this for a while now, but I'm definitely providing the impetus. I've tried to explain to her that being "mean" (teasing, fondling, maybe allowing climax/maybe not) is actually being very nice! I think the idea is so foreign to her that she has a hard time acting on it.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I have been using a chastity device off and on for the past 5 years. We just started a blog about it. Feel free to check it out lockedformrs
ReplyDeleteI tried to find your blog but it looks like it's gone. :(
DeleteI just recently started wearing a cage. After 20 years of marriage which failed because I was too selfish and focused upon my own pleasure, often at her expense as I masturbated my way to temporary oblivion over some inanimate picture on the internet, I voluntarily put on a cage.
ReplyDeleteToday is my third day with it on and it is there to a) break two bad habits - porn and self gratification, and b) teach me that my pleasure does not belong to me.
I don't have a girl friend but do have a female who is my best friend who is my key holder. She knows full well the reasons behind this and is the one who suggested a cage.
So, wish me luck.
Good luck to you! You're in for a fun and exciting journey.
DeleteWow! My husband has been asking for stuff like this for years and I've always changed the subject. After he gets off he sort of forgets about it for a while. After reading this article and some of the comments I'm thinking we've been missing out something that could be a lot of fun. I may have to give this a try.
ReplyDeleteI gave my Wife a CB-2000 before we wed. as a gag gift. I gave it to her a gag gift and promised I would wear it when ever she wanted. I gave it to her because her previous live in boyfriend and husband before him both left her for the other women they were having sex with.
ReplyDeleteOver the next six years we upgraded to a CB-6000S and she slowly started requiring me to wear it more and more until it was fulltime. The past eight years have been fulltime.
This once demure church going Wife of mine that I never thought would like anything like this has embraced so wholeheartedly that I wish I never started it, but I feel like there is no going back.
I know she will never allow it.
I'm in a similar situation. Trying chastity play was my idea. I had seen it online and I thought it was a turn-on. I liked the idea of wanting to be free, of struggling against the device but of having to wait until she let me out. I shared the fantasy with her and she was sort of "meh" about it. She didn't really want to spend the money on it but I reminded her how much her vibrator costed so she relented and said if it was what I wanted then let's go for it. We bought one from mature metal and got it all figured out.
DeleteI think she enjoyed ribbing me as we tried working through the instructions, which made me more excited, which made it harder to put on, which gave her even more ammo to tease me about. I was surprised at how tricky it was to put on but we eventually got it worked out.
The excitement of locking it on and handing over the keys to her was unparalleled. I can still remember how my hands shook. I think women must have a innate ability to tease because she just kept letting the zingers fly. She wouls say things like, "I guess I better get that wall adapter for my vibrator after all. I'm going to need it now" or "I bet you never thought your parents would getting more sex than you..." This wasn't even her fantasy and she probably wasn't turned on by it like I was but she seemed to naturally know that she should be taunting me about it. That's probably most of the turn-on for me, being teased and denied.
Being locked up turned out to be much harder than I thought. You're horny all the time and you just want out... but you're stuck. After being locked up for about three days I tend to want to be with her all the time, always touching her and wanting to hold her. I get an increasingly strong desire to connect sexually with her, to do or talk about anything sexy and to turn her on. Since I'm locked up that usually means convincing her to let me go down on her. It gets to the point where I'm going down on her once in the morning and once in the evening, just about every day. I think for the most part she enjoys the attention and affection. I used to play way too much XBox and it would bug her. Now she gets all the attention she can handle.
Anyway, as you and others have reported, over time things change and it's come to the point where she's not just playing a game anymore. We went from keeping me locked for a few days to a few weeks. As the time gets longer I start to genuinely want out, to quit the game and go back to "normal." At the same time she has started to genuninely want to keep me locked up. The weirdness factor has worn off for her and it just seems normal and natural. In fact, I think she actually gets off on it now, she actually gets turned on by saying "no" and watching me squirm. She often tells me to just enjoy my fantasy and not to ask to be released so much because it isn't going to happen as much anymore. I'm constantly trying to make bargains or find reasons for her to let me out. Just usually just replies with "You're cute" or "nice try" or "But I can make you do that anyway" or "but this is so much fun" or "but you wouldn't want to dissappoint me, would you?" or "don't you get tired of fighting it? Why not just accept it?" I think her desire to keep me locked up is probably the most "secure" aspect of chastity play. That's what keeps me from taking a grinder to the steel cage (that and the fear of cutting myself).
So I'm sort of stuck in this limbo world, loving and hating my fantasy. I brought it on myself and I often wish I hadn't gone down this road but just as often I'm super glad I did and that I have such an amazing woman.
Last summer while lying in bed and role playing the topic of orgasm denial came up a number of times. My husband Jim always wanted me to deny him or make him wait while I teased him. For the longest time I didn't catch on until one night both of us sitting in front of the computer screen watched a video, the husband wearing a chastity cage.
ReplyDeleteWe talked about it for weeks while I read everything I could about the device. It wasn't too long before I ordered one from an online service.
Sitting on the foot rest he stood in front of me while I worked the device on him. He got tense & made it easy to slip the cage over his skin & I set the lock in place.
That night the sexual fun intensified in our home. The bliss followed only within only days.
The many blogs and articles I read were developing right at my feet. The sexual satisfaction I derived was ten fold & even more at times.
His fantasy of being my sex toy came to pass. My fantasy of being spoiled has contined to this day.
The cage comes off when I want it to come off. The pleasure I request last until I have had my fill.
His orgasm is regulated to a time and manner of my choosing, maybe a bit painful & frustrating for him yet he survives.
If your reading this, consider this. At least give it a try. Bliss I have found in our bedroom
I have introduced my wife to male chastity and she thinks it is kind of weird. I purchased a CB-6000 and fitted my self and started wearing off and on weekends. I have given her the key for the second time this weekend and told her that I need her help in controlling my masturbating. I am hope that she realizes that I am wearing my device for her benifit also. We dont have sex that often and I constantly have sexual cravings so I hope that chastity will help show my devotion to her.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty impressed that after 2-1/2 years, there are a lot of people - both men and women - game to try this out.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you interested in reading other blogs of people that have tried this, you can find a list on:
Keyheld: http://keyheld.blogspot.com
Mainly vanilla-ish people who are using chastity as a way to enhance their relationships.
So glad I found this article! If you just start doing google searches for "male chastity device" you'll get ALL kinds of extreme stuff, as I found out. My boyfriend has been asking to try it for a long time and until now I've been put off by some of the things I've been reading online. This article gives me hope that maybe I can be his, erm... keyholder and fulfill his fantasy without changing who I am.
ReplyDeleteOne tricky thing for me is that my BF expects me to initiate the whole thing. Otherwise he says it's not as exciting if he is calling all the shots. I get that but it's still daunting. So an article like this really helps me get into his head and know what to do.
Also, I'm planning to start slow and work up to longer periods as he gets used to it. I think that would also keep it exciting, always looking forward to (or dreading) the next longer period. From what I'm reading here and elsewhere it sounds like it can be a little addicting and eventually men end up locked for months at a time. I can totally see that happening to us/him but I'm still struggling to imagine what our love life will be like during those long periods. I know I'm supposed to keep it interesting by teasing him and he's supposed to be extra sensitive and helpful, offer me oral, etc. But I just wonder if I'll be bored with that. I don't want to feel like I'm the one who is restricted. But don't worry, chastity folks, I won't cave. Once I decide on a duration I'll drop the keys off in my gym locker so I won't be tempted to let him out early. ;)
By the way, I surfed in here from something someone linked on a SexWithEmily post. BF can thank Emily, Gwen and all you lovely commenters for the loss of manhood freedom for a few months. Cheers!
I'm always happy to see a woman realize that chastity play can involve as little to no S&M (whips, chains, etc.) as she desires. You may want to incorporate a little bondage later or you might not, that's totally up to you. Your boyfriend is right, this is something that you'll have to take complete charge of; after all, he's turning over control of his orgasms over to you. It's actually very easy on your part, all you have to do is decide if and when the chastity device comes off based on how ell he's behaved and in the meanwhile, constantly remind him of what he's missing out on by teasing him sexually. This can include dressing and acting sexy in front of him, saying flirateous things, leaving a Victoria's Secret catalog on the table where you'll know he'll see it, making out with him and giving him oral while he's weraring his chastity device, making him give you massages and sponge bubble baths, make him paint your toenails, and of course, as you said, make him give you oral to your heart's content. You'll want to also engage in teasing and denial sessions, where he is restrained to the bed from his wrists and ankles and brought nearly to orgasm by you over and over while never being allowed to achieve one. This usually concludes with you putting a bag of ice on his penis to shrink it and then locking it back up in the chastity device, leaving him even more horny and frustrated than he was before.
DeleteContinued...
DeleteI think you'll find that the difficulty will not be in your ability to take control, it will be in dealing with his whining and complaining. This will require much strength on your part. Once he's reached a high level of sexual frustration, he will say and do just about anything to emotionally manipulate you into letting him out early. You will hear everything from health complaints to accusations of selfishness. You must never fall for these tactics and must never cave in or you will lose all the authority in his eyes that you've worked so hard to achieve. Last I checked, no man has ever died from sexual frustration. Your idea of putting the key in your gym locker so you won't be tempted is an excellent one. In addition, you may want to consider extending his time in chastity for whining, as that would help serve as a deterrent to complaining. The other difficulty you will likely experience is in the security of the male chastity device itself. A secure device is absolutely necessary to maintaining control over your boyfriend's orgasms. If he's ablate cheat, then you really haven't taken control and don't think that he wouldn't cheat no matter what he promises. Metal devices are obviously more secure than plastic ones and the smaller the ring, the more snug the fit, and the more secure the device. There will still be a small chance of him being a blue to slip out of the device, but it will be more difficult. You may want to look into male chastity devices that are 100% secure, those include ones that require a genital piercing and ones that use a urethral tube. The first requires that he be pierced and attaches to the piercing to make it completely impossible to remove without unlocking the device first. The second simply has a tube attached to the inside of the divide that is inserted into his urethra, making it completely impossible to bend or remove his penis from the device without first unlocking the device.
As far as getting bored from all the oral sex you'll be receiving, I have yet to come across a woman who's gotten bored of the male chastity lifestyle; in fact, it's usually the man who introduces it to the relationship and the woman who ends up not allowing her man to give it up if he changes his mind. Your sexual activities do not have to be limited to female oral sex, you can have him put on a strap on dildo and have sex with you as normal would and in any position you please. You can even have penetrative sex with him, as long as you don't let him ejaculate, but that can be a little difficult to prevent. Lastly, you'll want to make sure that you never ever remove your boyfriend's chastity device while he's not restrained. A man so horny and sexually frustrated cannot be trusted with loose hands. If his hands aren't restrained, he will inevitably masturbate to orgasm, something you should never allow to take place.
One thing I can guarantee you is that your life will change for the better beyond your wildest dreams. Male chastity is a lifestyle that is gaining in popularity with mainstream couples everyday and will become common practice among couples as more and more women discover the extraordinary benefits that can be achieved when they take away their man's masturbation freedoms and limit their orgasms to no more than a dozen a year. Remember, a horny man is an obedient, polite, sensitive, cooperative, caring, attentive, and romantic man. Good luck to you and your boyfriend. I know you will love it and never go back to how things were before.
I know how some can feel that chastity is weird or not normal and so did I, until a year ago. I spent the last 25 years of my 42 year marriage living with my wife and a shared girlfriend. My wife is bisexual and sharing a girlfriend worked out for us. Then we had eo move and our girlfriend could not so we found ourselves as just a couple again and did not know how to cope with that. I was used to two women to take care of my orgasms whenever and however I wanted. My wife was more interested in sex with another woman in the mix so she was not too keen to have sex as much as I wanted to.
ReplyDeleteI was determined to find something to bring the spark back and found chastity. It was a fetish so alien to my orgasm seeking behavior as to be kinky to someone who lived a kinky lifestyle.
At first we tried it on the honor system and my wife and I discovered that we loved teasing and denial. Then we learned that it grew more intense the longer I was denied. We got to the point where I needed a chastity device to deter me from taking matters into my own hands. I found that wearing the device made me horny. It felt like I had a hand grabbing my penis 24/7. This all contributed to better teasing sessions.
We ended up having sex more often, 2-3 times a week rather than once every few weeks. My wife was free to have orgasm without feeling obligated to give me one. She said she felt powerful from the control she had over my orgasms and actually would laugh from pure enjoyment of edging me over and over again for an hour.
After a while I found that my orgasm was a let down. I felt blah for almost a week after my orgasm and missed the constant sexual tension coursing through my body that was present when I was locked up. I felt incomplete without my chastity device on. It was very surprising that I felt mentally and physically better when I was denied an orgasm for a few weeks. We learned from trial and error that 4 weeks was my maximum chastity period. After that it was no fun for me and my wife. She enjoys her power to make me cum whenever she wants but as with all power, she needed to exercise it every now and then.
It is good to find a few reality based chastity blogs that do not purport to have a wife grow leather skin, high heeled feet and turn from the sweet wife into a cruel dominatrix forcing her husband to kneel at her feet and doing all the household chores while she watched TV or even dates other men. The truth for most of us is that nothing changes except that our wives now determine when we get to cum. It could be as simple as making us cum when they also want to cum or letting us wait a little longer just to increase the teasing pleasure. It is never done as punishment and by being super nice, I cannot make my release date come any sooner.
Our life goes on as always except that I wear a chastity device 24/7. Although it may sound strange to men, I actually enjoy the intense teasing sessions over a 5 second orgasm. The feeling that you get just before you ejaculate is what I feel for hours and that is better than the orgasm. I also feel more energetic and happy when denied for a few weeks. The sexual tension that courses through me invigorates me and I can channel that into other areas of my life. I am more attentive to my wife and more eager to please. I know it sound odd but it does work for some of us.
There is a solid Biblical basis for male chastity, namely to help the husband love his wife better. http://puritysleeve.tumblr.com/ It's definitely not for everybody, and in fact there are lots of husbands who don't need the help, but that doesn't mean it's not for anybody.
ReplyDeleteI have been wearing my chastity device for a couple of months now and it has my brought my wife and I much closer together. I get my release once a week for a short period on Sundays most of the time and I now embrace wearing mine. My wife and friends have seen a big change in my devotion to her. I dont think I could never go back to not wearing one and I dont think she would let me.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHow to restore a broken relationship and marriage
My Name is Danielle Hudson. i live and work in Oxfordshire, UK. I will love to share my testimony to all the people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i cant get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 2 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too,This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him on this e-mail;Drossuva@gmail.com i cant give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck
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DeleteBut a girl doesn’t feel like playing all the time and chastity gets sort of ruined if you let him out every time you don’t feel very frisky. So what do you do to get through the dead spots (for me it’s mostly during my you know what, or if I’m really stressed or busy) without being neglectful? After three or so years of playing this game with my wonderful husband J, I’ve observed the following about the two of us and extrapolated it to apply to everyone since everyone else is exactly like us, I’m sure.
ReplyDeletePart of the magic of chastity play is that the male, who usually has the higher sex drive, is “playing” 24/7. He’s eating, sleeping, going to work, everything really with his penis locked up. Any stray sexual thought quickly reminds him about the game he’s playing. His keyholder probably has a lower libido but that’s okay because she just has to give him the occasional nudge to keep him at a full simmer. A little bit of attention on the days when you just don’t feel very playful will keep him happy and from feeling neglected until you’re a little more enthusiastic and ready to turn the heat up to a full boil.
Here are some of my tips for low maintenance chastity play. I try to make sure I do some combination of these every day when J is locked up. They take hardly any time, and I know they make him feel loved. They’re little things that get magnified in his mind by the cage.
Fondle his balls every day. Ideally once in the morning and once at night. No matter how busy or tired I am, I can always find two minutes in bed to do this. I don’t even have to remove the CB. Our sleep schedules are a little different. J’s a night owl and I’m a morning person, but that doesn’t stop us. When I’m going to bed I just whisper in his ear that I want to see him in the bedroom. He never says no! I fondle his poor trapped balls for a few minutes (two to five is plenty) and then say good night. He can go back to his computer after that. If I feel like kissing a bit, I can do that, but if I don’t I just tell him to stand there and keep still while I “play with my toys.” I wake up before he does in the mornings too. But he never seems to mind if I wake him up by playing with his balls! Again, just a few minutes. Enough to get a groan or two out of him and then I go take my shower or get my breakfast.
Remind him of his situation. Of course he already knows he’s locked up and you have the key, but reminding him lets him know you’re thinking about him. You haven’t forgotten about him, you’re just waiting for the right time to make use of him. I’ll walk by J in the kitchen, give him a quick squeeze in front and ask “how are my toys doing? Still all locked up?” Or I might just say “being a keyholder is fun.” Or “Aren’t you lucky to have such a fabulous keyholder?” I’ve noticed that the more out-of-the-blue the comment is the bigger the impact it has on J. If he’s not really thinking about sex or expecting me to be thinking about it, mentioning his chastity jolts his libido into high gear.
Take possession of his genitalia. Get in the habit of referring to his cock and balls as your cock and balls. Kiss him and ask “how are my cock and balls doing down there in your pants?” Or while sitting on the couch fast forwarding through a commercial with your Tivo, casually ask him “Are you taking good care of my cock and balls darling? One of these days I’m sure I’ll want to play with them.” If you get in this habit, then just a few words here and there add to his excitement and keep him happy and horny.
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Turn routine requests into chastity play. Instead of asking him to pick up a gallon of milk on his way home, text him “Your keyholder wants to you pick up a gallon of milk on the way home.” Or say “a neck rub would earn you some much needed points with your keyholder.” Creating the fantasy that you are holding his sex hostage to your whims is pretty powerful. Keep it fantasy and don’t abuse it (very much). Back rubs and foot rubs are nice even when I don’t feel very amorous, but they’re still physical things and J really likes it when I tie them to his chastity.
DeleteTake chastity seriously. Don’t leave the key laying around or act like it’s no big deal if he gets out before you’re ready to release him. Do surprise “inspections” to make sure he’s still locked up. Ask him if he’s tried to get out, or tried to get at the key without permission. Use a no-nonsense manner to let him know it’s important to you that he only get out of his chastity device when you want him out. Every once in a while mention you’d someday like to get a more secure device. That keeps him from starting to doubt your commitment to the game when you haven’t seriously teased him for a while. Remember that’s he’s committed 24/7. The whole idea is he can’t check out of the game until you let him, so reminding him that you’re still in it helps.
Muse about the length of his lockup. Sometimes I’ll tell J that I’ve decided to let him out the next weekend, then the next night tell him I’ve changed my mind and I don’t know when I’ll let him out. Sometimes I’ll tell him I’ve been wondering how long I should leave him locked up and just leave it at that. No further information, just that I was thinking about it. I’ll ask him if he thinks he could go six months, or a year. If he asks if I’m planning to keep him locked up that long, I’ll just shrug and say “maybe.” It’s another verbal tease that takes very little energy from me but amps J up.
None of those things take much time or energy from me. They’re easy to do on days when I’m stressed or tired or just not feeling very sexual. And they keep J feeling loved and cared for. I’ve really gotten into the habit of doing them. So much that I usually keep doing them even when J isn’t locked up. That's not really a problem, but if he wakes up to my hand on his balls and he's not locked up, I'm not getting out of bed without finishing what I started! Of course that just makes his lockups even more delightful for both of us.
Have fun, and play safe you kids!WendyWicke
Thanks for a wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteMust admit that our story is very similar to the original author. I was a shy guy, always liked strong women, got married to wonderful and strong woman. After some light bandage, I really found myself turned on by the thought of my wife's taking more control, especially in the bedroom. Unfortunately this led to a lot of masturbation. I finally asked her to take control of my orgasms, which she did half heartedly because she couldn't understand why I would want such a thing. After awhile I showed her a chastity device I had bought, and she locked me up once or twice, but never got into it because she couldn't quite understand why.
Over time, she came to like controlling my orgasm, telling me she wanted me to ask her permission anytime I wanted "release", and that she liked our marriage better when I wasn't playing with myself. It was intimidating that she came to me and requested this; I think I realized then that I would never have control of my orgasm again but I willingly accepted her control. I realize that I am just a far better husband when my sexual relief relies on my wife, and that in turn means more and better sex for both of us.
So eventually I worked up the nerve to show her this post, as it is one of the best reads I have found on the subject. She read it as well as some of the replies, and week later she decided to lock my (her?) manhood in small cage. And frankly seems more turned on than I am by it. We have more sex, when I am locked up. We would like to find a more comfortable cage to lock up (our?) manhood for longer periods of time.
So thanks again for sharing!
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DeleteHOW TO GET AN EX BACK
ReplyDeleteGreeting to any body that is reading my comment,Am Tanya Albert All Thanks goes to DR Ero, i was married to my husband, and we were living fine and happy. it come to an extend that my husband that use to love and care for me, those not have my time again, until i fined at that he was having an affair with another woman, i try to stop him,all my effort was in-vain sadly he divorce me and went for the woman. he live me with two of our kids, i cry all day, i was in pains, sorrow and looking for help. i was reading a news paper, i saw how DR Ero help people with his love and reuniting spell. so i decided to contact him and explain my problem to him, he did a love spell that make my husband to come back to me and our kids and never think of the woman. this man is god sent to restore heart break and reunite relationship. may the lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people relationship and any problem they encounter contact him for help dr.eromosespelltemple@hotmail.com i promise you that you, he will but a smile on your face and make you feel happy. good luck.
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DeleteMy husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose email is prophetjamesspelltemple@hotmail.com so I had to contact him and in just 4days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man I got married to.I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, I am so grateful. I even spoke to the spell caster over the phone, to confirm his existence. His email again is: prophetjamesspelltemple@hotmail.com good luck
ReplyDeleteFascinated by this subject; I have told my wife of many years that I am interested but she thinks it is perverted. I do not know how to open her mind about it. So glad to see that you are enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteThe husband in the opening post is a very lucky man to have met such a.woman. Alas I am now guilty of envy.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to stay chaste for my wife by operating on the honor basis. It has all the desired effects described in this blog (i.e. I become more attentive, and caring for my wife). The main problem I am encountering is sleep deprivation, which in turn reduces my performance at work (I need to be concentrated and focused). After 5 or 6 days, I typically get so tired and exhausted that I have no other option but to throw in the towel. Does anyone know how to deal with sleep deprivation? Does it get better after one crosses a certain threshold of days in chastity? If so, how many days would it typically take?
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
DeleteI guess it may not work for everyone, but what works quite well for me is simply getting tired during the day. In my case gym/fitness makes me so exhausted when done late evening, that I sleep next 7-8hours very well.
Maybe you're not gym fan, but finding something to do during the day and in the evening that occupies you physically may somehow help.
I am also in chastity using the honour method but am allowed release once a month. My wife loves having control over my sexual pleasure and I am forbidden to even touch my penis except to wash. She loves how subservient it makes me and as part of this she has made me start bodybuilding which is always something she has wanted. The training is grueling five or six days a week but I find that exhaustion does help to dull sexual desire and help me keep to my vow of chastity. So I agree with the last post..it will help you sleep.
DeleteThis is GREAT! I have fantasized about my wife locking me up for a while now, I have brought it up to her before but thinks the idea is silly. After sharing this blog with her - some light has been shed on it and the idea behind it. I am HOPING she will agree to experiment and have some fun with it! We need some romance back in our marriage :)
ReplyDeleteBe careful about love spell comments here I got scammed by three of them,I lost over $1570 until a friend direct me to Dr Amina who help me get back the father of my two kids after he left me for over 2 years.and now my ex is fully back and he love me and my kids like never before.if you need help with love spell then mama Amina is the solution to your problem she charge me only $135 and her love spell work like magic.she can be reach at (draminalovespell@gmail.com)
ReplyDeleteI much appreciate this thread and the sharing of experiences with male chastity. I am very much in love with my wife of over 35 years. During that time we have experienced many wonderful and erotic times together. Recently, however, our sexual relations have diminished, something that does concern us both. Over the years I have often fantasized about being locked up by her for whatever length of time she may choose, , the key in her possession, her control clear and unambiguous, my devotion given willingly. But i have hidden my desires, fearful of rejection. Common enough i guess. But the time is now. i want her to know of my desires. To have her snap the lock shut. For her to know that i am prepared to beg for this and to thank her. And for her to come to appreciate this for herself and for us together. i know that i want this, to be locked for, to be explicitly under her control, for her to set the terms, and for this to be a source of intimacy and connection between us. i expect that if she agrees to this both she and i will experience changes as this becomes a new and shared reality between us. Parts of that will be difficult, parts very rewarding. In a couple of weeks we will be traveling to another country for a vacation and during that time i will share my desires and hope that she will be both accepting and enticed. Wish me luck. If it goes well i will shortly be shopping for a chastity device that I will have shipped to her and when it arrives it will bring a smile to her face and a moment of truth for me.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I arn't into all that stuff but for years we have been playing games like, "you can't kum until you make kum five times or stuff like that. We finally bought a cage to add to the realism and it has been fun. I'm thinking of getting one for her too since we take turns on who gets to run things. We are just starting out with the device but I think we will have a lot of fun with it.
DeletePiss off, scumbag.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis original post and many of the responses are too good to ignore; I wish there was a moderator to remove the spam posts. This subject has been buried and re-surfaced so many times in my head; it just will not go away and gentlemen... I don't think it ever will. Deal with it now and find the courage to bring this well written article to your wife (or girlfriend). To the author, thank you so much! I hope you will continue to share with us and also to all of you that have shared your experiences; Thank You too.
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ReplyDeleteSince the comments in this thread keep going, and since Gen seems to have abandoned the blog, I would like to mention that people looking for more information on the subject without going to overtly kink-oriented websites should visit:
ReplyDeleteThe Chastity Forums (http://chastityforums.com) for adult discussion without a lot of the associated weirdness that often comes with the topic.
Keyheld
(http://keyheld.blogspot.com)
A list of relationship oriented blogs by other people experimenting with this.
She-Held
(http://sheheld.blogspot.com)
Mainly blogs by women who are experimenting with chastity and other aspects of female-led relationships.
Again, these sites are oriented toward those who are in caring relationships, and are not heavy on the BDSM or fetish aspects.
Wow, what a fantastic post. Hubby and I discovered chastity play almost two years ago and absolutely love it. This blog seems abandoned now so I'll copy the content over to our blog on Tumblr - keephimcaged.tumblr.com so others can benefit from it too!
ReplyDelete18 years ago I gave my Wife a CB-2000 thinking it was a toy as a gag gift for Xmas before we got married. I soon found out it’s no a toy. Locked all the time the past 16 years I’ve adjusted to wearing one all the time.
ReplyDeleteHello everyone
ReplyDeleteMy name is Kate Curtis,36 years from Florida here in the USA. I was searching for advise on what to do to get back my EX Husband, My story is about a woman who used to work with my husband in the same office, my husband was having a secret affair with my coworker,i caught them for that reason my husband and i had to break up,and in three months pregnant and i still love him but it seems he's really deeply in love with the other lady and he left me helpless every night i keep missing him and i cries all night non stops, after a few weeks of searching for help, I came across several testimonies about Dr.James the great herbalist who uses his powerful love spells to restore a broken relationship. I contacted Dr.James for help due to the fact that I needed my EX back Husband because he was my everything and my life and I can't do it all alone with my pregnancy and doctor James asked me his name and a picture of him and he did a spell on him,two days later my husband returned back to me and was on his knees cried and apologized to me,that he will never do it again.he started shearing all his secrets with me.he swore never to cheat on me again and promised to love me forever.I and my husband we are happily living together now my husband is totally 100 percent submissive to me and does whatever i want him to do I'm so happy and thanks to Dr James spell it's awesome. Viewers reading my article and needing help to restore your marriage back WANT YOUR HUSBAND TO BE SUBMISSIVE, WANT YOUR HUSBAND WORSHIP YOU,WANT YOUR HUSBAND TO ALWAYS OBEY YOU, LOVE SPELL,BRING BACK YOUR EX AFTER A BREAK UP,HAPPILY MARRIAGE SPELL,PROTECTION SPELL,LOTO SPELL,ATTRACTION SPELL,GET ANY MAN YOU WANT SPELL,GET ANY POSITION IN AN OFFICE SPELL,LOVE POTION SPELL, WANTS YOUR MAN TO BE LOYAL SPELL NO MORE CHEATING SPELL, should contact Dr James his email : drjamesodiagbespelltemple@gmail com
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Since there's no doubt that this blog is still being read (it comes up very close to the top when searching for "romantic chastity"), I thought I'd toss in a couple comments of my own.
ReplyDeleteThis is the second marriage for both my wife and me. We got together when we were both around 50, and I had amicably separated from my first wife. We started dating, then living together for about five years, then got married, and I have never been happier in my life; I believe that she would say the same. We both have active fantasy imaginations, and did quite a bit of male-dominant play, including some bondage and spankings; she still likes this quite a lot.
A year or so before we got married, I confessed my fantasy about wanting to do male chastity play, which was pretty much the hardest thing I ever had to tell her. It shocked her a bit, not because of the concept, but because she had always considered me as a dominant man, and probably was afraid that I'd turn into a mincing sissy or something. But she gamely agreed to try it for a while. I already had a device, and had worked out the details of comfort and safety, so we just went ahead.
I've always very much enjoyed making my wife feel good, whether sexually, physically (back-rubs, etc.), or emotionally - nothing makes me happier that seeing genuine spontaneous joy on her face. This has nothing to do with submission - quite the contrary: I feel capable and empowered as a man when I can do this for her. This took my wife quite a while to understand, and I'm not sure she completely accepts it to this day.
Because of this, it's been difficult for her to just lean back and enjoy my attentions (figuratively and literally). I've always been attentive to her, but when I've been in chastity for several days, I find it deeply pleasurable *for me* to bring her pleasure, whether it's an oral orgasm (or three), or bringing her coffee in the shower. It's really a wonderful feeling.
Don't get me wrong - I still crave and love to have orgasms, which now happen around once or twice a month. The device we use (a Lori tube, secured with a piercing) allows her to tease me *very* effectively without removal, which she does nearly every morning; after a few minutes, I'm usually flapping around like a landed tuna, and my brain is jelly - there's nothing on earth I want more than an orgasm then. Frequently this turns into an oral sex session for her, but equally often she just lets me calm down for a few minutes, then we get on with our day. I'm very grateful that she takes the time to play with me for a few minutes, even when she's not interested in sex. I have found that over the years, though, that she's decided that an orgasm before getting up isn't such a bad thing...
I'm still very much her man, and like any good husband I love making the path smooth for her feet. I take care of most of the bills, and the maintenance around the house; if there's a conflict with a vendor, I deal with it. She's a very nurturing, caring person, and has shown me how to be a much better person myself in that regard. (I still have to strictly limit the number of $20 bills she passes out to homeless people, though.) We even still do the male-dom play sessions sometimes (probably not as frequently as she'd like). But in this one arena, I couldn't be happier that she controls me.
I've done a lot of reading on the subject, and it seems that there are several hormones at play, but all I can say is that the effects on my emotions are real, and beneficial to our relationship. As a word to the women reading this, I understand that it may be a real leap to try this game, but if your husband brings it up, I assure you that he'll be *very* happy if you decide to play it with him. And after giving it a chance - letting it become a normal part of life - you may find that it fits very well into a loving relationship, and I guarantee that it will keep a real spark going for him.
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Hi, I really loved your story and how expresses your feelings deep down. In fact, I think this is the best piece I've read and something I may show my wife. As a husband I still have not mustered up the courage to express my desires to my wife, which are uncannily similar to your husband's. Thank you and do you keep a blog about your marriage?
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