Feelin' Sexy Friday: Massage

I always love a good massage and so does Husband. I got my very first professional massage a few years after we had been married. I would probably get one every day if I could. Instead, we bought a book, did some reading and watched a few videos on how to give a good massage and taught him to do the same.

Basic tips that I've learned so far:

• Make sure your hands are warm as you massage
• Work from the waist up with a little bit of pressure all over the back at first
• Use your body weight instead of just your arms
• Gradually build up the pressure to get rid of knots instead of going immediately to deep
• Ask the person you're massaging what they like and don't like

Have you heard of the Massage Bars  from Babeland? Husband and I brought them on our last vacation. There's way less risk of mess in the suitcase compared to bringing a bottle of massage oil. The massage bars turn into oil as they are rubbed over skin. They work wonderfully and they smell great!

Touch is a great way to feel relaxed, connected, reassured and comforted. A relaxation massage is a good way to get started. 

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- How about a Quickie?

Have you ever just wanted sex right now?

I love a good quickie every now and then. Of course, I'd hate to get into a pattern of only quickies, but sometimes that's all we have time for. Life gets so busy and sometimes a little quickie just takes the edge right off.

Having a quickie is also a good way to introduce spontaneity and spice things up a bit. Remember, when you were first together and couldn't keep your hands off each other? It's great to have that kind of passion and excitement back.

Just for fun, anybody have any fun stories of where or when a quickie occurred?

You may comment anonymously.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Go Commando

I hope you and your man have a hot date planned this weekend. If not, start planning and setting one up. Get all dressed up to go and forget about your underwear or if you're a bit more shy just put on something sexy underneath. Then, during dinner you could accidentally have your shirt fall off your shoulder bit, or pull up your skirt to show him your garter, give him a glance and tease him a bit.

Enjoy the weekend!

Feelin' Sexy Friday: Boudoir Pictures

I realize Boudoir Photos could be controversial.

Do you think it's okay to show so much skin to somebody who is not your husband?

Have you had a good or bad experience?

What about your husband?

Boudoir Pictures could be a great gift for your spouse and seem to be becoming more popular. Recently, I've seen a lot of deals for these on my local Groupon and other deal sites.

These are a great gift for a spouse that's going away on deployment or a business trip, a memento of your young body, a fun surprise, or an idea for a girls night.

There can be a lot of variety in boudoir pictures.

If you're a bit camera shy you could just do some digital pictures with your girl friends or ask others about photographers they've used.

You could even set up timed pictures and do them yourself. If you're doing them yourself, turn the flash off and maybe have some candles or soft lighting. It'll leave a soft, subtle glow and be forgiving of any imperfections you worry about.

You choose the level of nudity you are comfortable with. I've seen some really classy boudoir photos where they're still sexy but have some mystery.

You can choose the style you'd like. For example, vintage pinup style may be better for those of you that have a few more curves since that's the style anyway.

You can do them inside, use your bedroom, outside or in a studio setting.

Mix up what you're wearing. You could gradually lose clothing in each picture or just have a variety of outfits you wear or don't wear.

It's all about attitude. Be confident and comfortable. If you feel sexy, you'll look sexy.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Exercise

Get a good work out in during the day.

Maybe, it's just going for a walk with the kids during the day. Join a gym in your area or join a local dance class. Dance around your living room for a while. Just make sure you're doing something physical.

Exercising will decrease stress and anxiety while improving your mood, energy and body image.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Embrace the Muffin Top

I recently watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love and there was a scene in there that made me smile and think.

Here's the movie scene:

The main character, Liz, is eating pizza in Naples with her friend when her friend looks guiltily at the pizza and explains she cannot eat it.

"I want to, but I've gained like 10 pounds.... I've got this right here on my tummy. What's this called?"

"A muffin top. I have one, too. Let me ask you this.... In all the years you've ever undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out or left?"

"No..."

" That's because he doesn't care. He's in the room with a naked girl. He's won the lottery... I'm so tired of saying no and then waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consume so I know exactly how much self-loathing to take into the shower. I have no interest in being obese. I'm just through with the guilt."

I've worked a lot with women with disordered eating and body image issues and these are often tied to sexuality. There may be a million different reasons for this, but that's to be discussed at another time.

Embrace your body! Love who you are! Your man will love you no matter what your body looks like. Confidence and being comfortable with how you look is sexy!!

My challenge for you is to show that confidence. Go initiate an intimate interaction. Put on some nice lingerie or go in the buff or show your confidence in how you pursue. Do whatever works for you. I bet your man will love it. Let me know how it goes.

Have a great Friday!

Questions or Suggestions for further topics? Email alyssamft{at}gmail{dot}com

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- New Years Eve Dress

New Year's Eve is the perfect opportunity to wear a fancy dress. I find I don't have very many opportunities to dress up, so when one comes around I try to snag it. Dressing up makes me feel different. It makes me feel special. But most importantly, it makes me feel sexy. Throw on some high heels and a shiny necklace tonight and rock that dress. You'll feel sexy for sure!

After your night out on the town, be sure to put that new found sex to good use. Go make some noise in the bedroom and start 2011 off with a bang.

Happy New Year Lovers!

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Kissing Under the Mistletoe

This holiday season, hang mistletoe to feel sexy! Kissing under the mistletoe is a great way to incorporate kissing into a busy holiday season. However, your husband doesn't even need to be around for the mistletoe to be effective. Just use it as a reminder to think a sexy thought or send a sexy text message to your man. The mistletoe can be a symbol of your love and commitment to each other during the holidays!

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Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Facebook

Did you know you can feel sexy everyday -- not just on Friday -- with Facebook? It's true. "Like" Gwen in Love on Facebook and receive updated blog posts and status updates.

Oh look! There I am. Just click the fancy little button below. And be sure to tell your friends so they can have a rockin' hot marriage too :)

Gwen in Love

Promote Your Page Too

xoxo,

Gwen

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Lighten Up

Have you ever known someone who you've thought needs to take the stick out of their rear?(Sorry, I couldn't think of a better way to say it.) How in the world are you to feel sexy when you are so dang serious all the time? Don't you want to feel sexy?

Oh wait -- that's you!? Oh dear. Quick. Here's a song. Dance. Smile. Let your guard down.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Talk The Talk

We Walked the Walk a few weeks ago. I think it's time we Talked the Talk.

We are all wholesome girls around here. We don't swear in front of our mothers and we are kind to the animals. But do you let your Dirty Christina's come out in the bedroom? Are you too shy? I'm not suggesting you become a nasty porn star. Oh heavens no. But you could definitely try to throw out something spicy here and there.

Here are some lines you could try:

1. I love the way you kiss me…especially when you kiss me there!
2. I love you so much. Can you feel it?
3. Use your mouth on me.
4. Do you like the way that looks?
5. This is going to be the dirtiest night of your life.
6. You can have me any way you want.
7. Don’t stop, harder!
8. I want you so bad – can you feel how much?
9. I love how big your {word of choice} gets when I talk to you like this.
10. Tell me what you’re doing. I want to hear the words.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Dance Party

Date Night Challenge

Throw on something sexy, brush your teeth, and crank up the tunes. Tonight, you are having a dance party.

Playlist:

1. Dance With Me, 112
2. Hips Don't Lie, Shakira
3. I know You Want Me [Calle Ocho], Pitbull
4. Toxic, Britney Spears
5. All For You Janet Jackson

If husband doesn't want to participate, just give him a show! He really won't care if you can't dance.

P.S. It doesn't work if you simply read Gwen in Love :) You have to do something to make your marriage rockin' hot. So hop to it girls... get up! Dance!

Feelin' Sexy Friday-- Growing Up Female

For the next few weeks Feelin' Sexy Friday will be encouraging personal thought and reflection regarding your sexual identity. Whether you are Mormon or Muslim, Baptist or Buddhist, we are all shaped and formed by the influences around us. Understanding these influences can help us to embrace who we are and to feel sexy. I will be sharing some questionnaires from The Hite Report, which I blogged about here, that will hopefully open a dialogue between you and your honey.

Image courtesy of Kupberg Photography

This portion of the questionnaire is taken from pages 497-499 of The Hite Report.

GROWING UP FEMALE

1. Growing up, were you close to your parents? Your mother? Father? What did you like most and least about them? Did you parents love you? In what way? What did you think of them?

2. What was your relationship with your mother like? Were you close? What is/was she like? What do you think of her? Do/did you like to spend time with her? Were you physically close growing up? Was she affectionate?

3. Were you close to your father? In what way? Was he affectionate? Did he talk to you? Do/did you like him? Fear him? Respect him?

4. What did you learn from your father was the proper attitude toward your mother? What did you learn from your mother was the proper attitude toward your father? Were they affectionate in front of you?631 The Hite Report

5. Were there ways in which your mother showed you how to be “feminine” – how to act like a girl or a “lady”? Did you and your mother do things your brothers (if any) were not expected (or invited) to do?

6. Were you ever a tomboy? What was it like?

7. Do you remember being warned against becoming a “tomboy,” or doing too many “boyish” activities, not acting “ladylike” enough? Can you remember any specific incident?

8. Did your father tell you to be a “good girl”? Your mother? What did they mean?

9. What kinds of things/behavior did your father give you approval for? Your mother?

10. Did you have a pet as a child?

11. Was there great pressure to conform be like the other girls– in grade school or high school? To dress like the other girls? Be popular?

12. Were you ever refused admission to a club or sorority you wanted to join? How did you feel about it? Did you like high school? What did you like and dislike about it?

13. Did you masturbate as a child? How old were you? Did your parents know?

14. Did your parents discuss menstruation with you? Your mother? Your father? Were you prepared for it when it started?

15. Was there an age at which you began to want to, or to feel pressured to, date boys? How old were you? How did you feel about this?

16. What was your mother’s attitude when you. Started dating? Your father’s? How did you feel? Did you discuss with your parents what happened when you went out on dates?

17. When was the first time you said, “I love you”? Held hands with someone? Kissed? Made out?

18. What was this early relationship like? Did it last long? Was it close or distant? Was it pleasurable or not? Did you tell your friends about it? How did it end?

19. Was it difficult leaving home? Declaring your independence?

20. Were you happiest as a child, a teenager, or are you happiest now?

Did these questions help you discover yourself? Or maybe clarify your actions and thoughts? Did you have an aha moment?

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- The Hair Down There

How do you groom your hair down there? Are you a natural woman or do you prefer a clean and trim look? Maybe you prefer no hair? What makes you feel sexy? Is your grooming to avoid embarrassment (i.e. a furry swimsuit line), or intended to attract your man?

Many women think pubic hair is sexy, “Pubic hair is feminine and mysterious and quite beautiful.” (The Hite Report, pg. 367) Others are put off by it or prefer the sensation of bare skin. "My pubic hair is too long, so I cut it. I wash two times a day and douche every three days.” (The Hite Report pg. 369)

Have you ever wanted to groom the hair down there but have not known how?

Here are a few options:

• Shave your pubic area with a razor. The most common form of hair removal, but it may cause skin irritation.
• Wax. A bikini wax (just the edges) or a Brazilian wax (ALL of it). This can be done at a salon or with an at home wax pot.
• A Chemical depilatory such as Magic Platinum Shaving Powder
  (a mixture you spread over the hair that dissolves it away from the skin.)

Talk it over with your husband. Does he have a preference? Be brave, give it a try. You'll feel fresh, clean, and sexy!

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Still have questions? Leave an anonymous comment. See what the other girls are doing by taking the new poll on the sidebar.

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Walk the Walk

Have you ever paid attention to the way people carry themselves as they walk? It's interesting. A really pretty girl can seem average if her shoulders are slouched and she's looking at her feet. Don't you instantly respect a woman who holds her head high?

Walk with confidence. Don't look at your toes. Look at the world. It's a beautiful place :)

Strut -- you'll feel sexy, I promise.

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Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Luna Beads

I woke up this morning to a fabulous email announcing the Babeland Memorial Day Sale. 20% off nearly everything on their website! The sale starts tomorrow. This news came just in time for Feelin' Sexy Friday.

Have you all heard of Kegels? Kegel exercises are named after Dr. Arnold Kegel. The idea is to contract and then relax the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. This builds strength and endurance and makes it easier to orgasm. Kegels are especially beneficial in cases of pregnancy, childbirth, aging, being overweight, and abdominal surgery.

Want to take it a step further? (Yes, you do!) Let me introduce you to the wonder of the Luna Beads:

The Luna Beads are made by Lelo, so you know they're good.

From the Babeland site:

Take your orgasms to mind-blowing heights with Luna Beads. Two sets of weighted beads give you the opportunity to ramp up your vaginal workout over time. Start with the lighter (28g), move on to the heavier (37g), and then use both at once for a truly pleasurable exercise challenge.

The looped string makes resistance exercise a cinch--just tug lightly on the string with the balls inserted. Daily PC muscle exercise can prevent/reverse stress incontinence, increase muscular control, and strengthen orgasms. And even if exercise is the last thing on your mind, the weighted balls will send you into orbit as you walk down the street (or wash the dishes, or shift in your seat at work…). Beads are made of a polycarbonate and ABS plastic blend, encasement is medical-grade silicone. Beads are removable for easy cleanup, two sets of differently-weighted beads included.

If you are having a hard time "getting in the mood" try using the Luna Beads an hour before husband comes home from work. You will be begging him for a rendezvous in no time.

Have you heard of Kegels? Have you tried them?

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Girls' Night Out

In the book, Grown-Up Marriage: What We Know, Wish We Had Known, and Still Need to Know About Being Married, author Judith Viorst says, "A grown-up marriage allows one to find a balance between autonomy and connection."

In other words, you need a girls' night out.

Seriously. We can't do everything with our man all of the time. It's important that both members of the relationship feel free to have different likes and interests. Husband can prove his manhood in a game of basketball and you can go watch America's Next Top Model with the girls. Be silly and let loose. When you come home at the end of the night he'll feel masculine and you'll feel feminine. You can show off what you've learned from your girls' night and strut down the hall in your favorite bra and panties.

You'll feel sexy, I promise.

P.S. A dollar says he won't even notice the fat roll :)

Feelin' Sexy Friday: Flirty Apron

5:00 is the witching hour in our home. My children are tired and hungry and Husband is due home. I am always rushing to make things tidy and have dinner on the table. Emotions and stress tend to run high. My favorite way to change my mood is to throw on a sassy little apron. It helps me to embrace my household duties and feel less like a maid and more like Husband's sexy girlfriend.

A cute uniform always makes me more excited about working hard.

Stewardesses get to wear this:

And I get to wear this:

Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Terrific Tan

A huge element in having a good sex life is confidence. How will you possibly enjoy yourself if you don't feel confident and sexy? Trust me. You won't -- so take control. On Fridays we'll share tips on how to feel sexy.

Do you have any?

A good tan never fails me. I know, I know. SO bad for you. But as Carrie says, "A time may come when we won't be so young and beautiful."