Special Price: And They Were Not Ashamed

Laura Brotherson is doing a special on her book And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment as an end of year gift. You can currently get the ebook for $4.99. You can also get the hard copy for about $12.

This book is so great for every single stage of a relationship. It's tasteful and informative. I refer a lot of my clients to this book. It's written in such a way you can skip between chapters or read straight through. I especially love the chapter covering The Good Girl Syndrome. Amazon lets you preview a few pages. Check it out and add it to your bookshelf.

Have you read it? What was the best thing you got from this book?

What's Your Love Language?

Hubby and I each took the Languages of Love Quiz. Basically, the love languages are the areas that you feel love the easiest and need to have fulfilled in order to feel like you are truly loved by your spouse. There are 5 areas and they will be ranked by score at the end of the quiz. The areas are: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation.

Wouldn't you know it, each of our top area was Physical Touch! He scored a 10 (out of a possible 12). Mine was a 9 tied with Acts of Service. It's a fun little quiz to take. I was a bit surprised by the ordering of his love languages, though. It's been great for us to know about each other.

I also recommend getting the book to better learn about yours and his love language. For example, maybe his love language is gifts. If so, you're going to have to look at spending money on gifts as a long-term investment in your marriage. Dr. Chapman has a lot of really great suggestions and ways to speak your partners language. He also has books geared toward children, teenagers, singles, men and more.

I'm off to go speak to my hubby in his love language.

Great Gift & Special Offer

Do you love your spouse but miss that excitement you had back when you were first dating? Are you feeling more like roommates instead of husband and wife? Wishing you could reconnect with your best friend?

The Dating Divas are doing a special on their new books, The A to Z Guide: 26 Ways in 26 Days to a Happier, Healthier Marriage and The Ultimate Date Night Book.

Through December 31st, you can order BOTH for $27!! This is such a steal!

I have The A to Z Guide already and it's amazing. It has great tips and stories of marriage and helping to get the spark back or even just increase the spark and love within your marriage.

The Ultimate Date Night Guide has their top date night ideas as voted by their audience. I have a new years resolution to go out more frequently with my husband. This book is great because it does all the thinking for you. I'll just need to pick a day and time.
This would be a great gift for yourself, your spouse or friends that you're not sure what to buy for.

Sheet Music by Kevin Leman

A colleague recently recommended this book to me and I absolutely love it! Dr. Leman is a Christian Psychologist and is very clear and blunt in this book while still being tasteful. This is a great book to help you in your sexual relationship and marriage. He talks about sexual satisfaction, dysfunction, a few positions and techniques, differences and similarities between men and women etc.

Here's a little excerpt: (you may have to click to zoom in and read)

The Sex-Starved Marriage

"Contrary to what you might think, a sex-starved marriage is not necessarily one that has no sex (although abstinence can and does occur); it is a marriage where one spouse desperately longs for more touch, physical connection and sex, while the other spouse, for a variety of reasons, just isn't interested."

Michele Wiener-Davis has written a book entitled The Sex-Starved Marriage. Many couples enjoy reading this and find it very useful.

She also has a book called The Sex-Starved Wife. She found in a study that 60% of women say they want sex as much or more than their husbands. She claims "Low desire in men is America's best kept secret." You can watch a clip of her on the Today Show as she talks about this book.

Michele operates in her practice from a solution-based approach and gives lots of tips and ideas so if you want a practical book and are willing to try new things, these books would be a good fit for you.

Ask the Audience #1: Follow Up

Thank you so much for all of your fabulous and insightful comments and ideas. What a great community effort. You girls are all so supportive and I appreciate so much the uplifting place we are building together. I wanted to weigh in with a few thoughts of my own.

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1. Many of you mentioned self exploration and self pleasuring. This can be an extremely useful tool. Often times, women who are struggling with sex have experienced negative thoughts for so long that they can't associate sex with pleasure. Experiencing pleasure alone can help relieve negative pressure. (This negative pressure is likely not your husband's fault. It can be rooted in many things: pain, guilt, shame, etc.)
2. The use of a vibrator or other sex toy was recommended to help get the fire roaring. For the higher-end, longer-lasting vibrators, I recommend the Lelo brand. The Siri and the Mona are two highly recommended toys. I blogged about why I like Lelo brand toys here. If you are unsure about committing to a toy or are looking for a smaller price tag, check out the selection here.
3. This was one of my favorite comments:

   oh I agree with all the above. Use toys, relax, etc. Here's an idea for a compromise: ask him to be completely intercourse abstinent with you for 30 days, but promise that every day you will have naked make-out time together. That way, you can be together intimately, but you won't have a problem relaxing because the fear of sex will be eliminated. Who knows what kind of desire that restraint could ignite for you?! And,I REALLY agree you should see a therapist & doctor together. Don't worry, this is nothing they haven't seen or heard, and they can really give you such better insight being able to have give and take with you in conversation. Best wishes, and it will get better :) October 12, 2010 8:23 PM

4. GIL readers recommended reading And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment and For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality.
   
   

The Five Love Languages

Have you heard of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts? This is a fabulous book that can really change your perspective, and more importantly, your actions. I recommend reading this book along with your husband, a great way to get a conversation started.

Author Gary Chapman gives a little preview:

Gary Chapman has also written several other titles which you may find interesting:

The Five Love Languages of Children

The Five Love Languages Singles Edition
The 5 Love Languages Men's Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts
Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy