All human beings are deserving of love and physical affection. We long for it. We search for it. We need it. This is a significant factor in our decision to be married. We need to be shown love. Scientists and researchers, however, have not always viewed this to be true.
"Hard as it is to believe, during the early Twentieth Century, a whole school of mental health professionals decided that unconditional love was a terrible thing to give a child. The government printed pamphlets warning mothers against the dangers of holding their kids. The head of the American Psychological Association and even a mothers' organization endorsed the position that mothers were dangerous—until psychologist Harry Harlow set out to prove them wrong, through a series of experiments with monkeys." Host Ira Glass talks with Deborah Blum, author of Love At Goon Park : Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection
Listen to the first ten our so minutes to this fascinating interview about an experiment in love: (If this doesn't show up in your reader, try coming by GweninLove.com to listen.)
If children need this show of physical affection so dearly, don't we, merely over-sized children, need this same connection? By offering this gift to your spouse you will be filling his need and desire for true love and bonding.
Here is a list of ideas on how to express love for your spouse through touch from author Marnia Robinson:
· smiling, with eye contact· skin-to-skin contact· providing a service or treat without being asked· giving unsolicited approval, via smiles or compliments· gazing into each other's eyes· listening intently, and restating what you hear· forgiving or overlooking an error or thoughtless remark, past or present· preparing your partner something to eat· synchronized breathing· kissing with lips and tongues· cradling, or gently rocking, your partner's head and torso (works well on a couch, or with lots of pillows)· holding, or spooning, each other in stillness· wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure· stroking with intent to comfort· massaging with intent to comfort, especially feet, shoulders and head· hugging with intent to comfort· lying with your ear over your partner's heart and listening to the heart beat· touching and sucking of nipples/breasts· gently placing your palm over your lover's genitals with intent to comfort rather than arouse· making time together at bedtime a priority· gentle intercourse
Try implementing these ideas throughout the day and you will quickly feel more bonded with your spouse.