Military Marriages

Dear Gwen,

First let me say I ADORE your blog. My question is what is your advice for us military wives? My husband is often gone and it is very hard on the relationship. Even when he comes home it takes a lot of time to slowly get back into the swing of things and get used to eachother again. Any ideas or tips on keeping the romance going for us gals' who's hubby is gone often?

-A Military Wife

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. And more importantly, thank you for your family's sacrifice. Military families are my heroes.

I'm not sure what protocol is for the military communication, but here is one solution I thought of for you. I assume you are able to send letters to one another.

Try writing an erotic letter to your husband. Don't hold back. Tell him what turns you on and describe your fantasies in detail. It doesn't have to be wild or crazy, but it certainly can if you'd like. The letter can be as simple as describing a past sexual encounter with him. Encourage him to have an orgasm. Though you are miles or seas apart, you will be connected. Tell him to write you back quickly because you are anxious to enjoy the same experience.

Your focus will remain on each other and you will feel as though you still know each other sexually.

Let me know if you try this, how it works out for you. Was his response positive?


  1. I've also heard of creating special photo albums or picture CDs. Sometimes, depending on where the soldiers are at, they have access to computers and can view the pictures on a disk or in an email. (However, I think sometimes emails or letters are not always private, so care must be taken.) I've heard of wives taking attractive pictures (and some get pretty adventurous with these) and sending them to their husbands. It's best to ask your husband about this first.

    Here is a link that talks about different kinds of communication options http://www.wivesoffaith.org/low-cost-ways-to-connect-during-deployment, and with some creativity, perhaps they can be used for what you wrote.

  2. When my husband was deployed, I made erotic videos of myself and uploaded them for his enjoyment. They helped a lot!

  3. Thank you so very much for your response to my question. I was so excited to see you address it. I am happy to report that for V-day I sent him a homemade fold out card that was quite creative that had a little envelope including a little surprise for him. A video of me and some money to treat himself to what ever he wanted. :) I can't tell you how much it meant to him to be able to see me...hear me talk dirty to him (something that is out of the norm for me but am working on) He just went on and on about how beautiful I was and...well...what woman doesn't like to hear their man gush about them. IT was a Happy V-day to me too just to hear him talk that way. :) He will be home soon and I just can't wait to try and re-connect again! Thank you for your blog and your advice, You are awesome!!

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