When He's in the Mood and You Aren't

When asked to write this blog post for Gwen in Love, I was excited and a little terrified. I am well versed in the “in’s and out’s” of sex, but writing about it so publicly is a whole new thing for me. My husband and I have been married for over 3 years and in that time we have had a child and have another on the way. Needless to say, I’m not always “in the mood” when he is. So that is why we have BOTH discovered a great love for hand jobs.

I know many women don’t enjoy giving these and many more feel uncomfortable while doing it. So here are a few tips I have to make your experience and his, a little more enjoyable.

  • Remember, this time is as much about you as it is about him. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. Once I realized this, it made it so much better. You aren't just giving him his jollies so he will roll over and go to bed.
  • You are totally in control. You can make this experience as long or as short as you want. YOU are the one that gets to decide.
  • Go in with a good attitude. If you begrudgingly start rubbing your husband, he feels that, in more than one way. It will take it longer for him to enjoy his time, and chances are will just make you bitter.
  • Take the time to feel sexy beforehand.  Put on some lingerie, roll on pheromone enhancer and do your makeup. The better you feel going in, the better he will feel.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff! 
What is it that some women do that make their husbands beg for more?

  • As my husband says, “If you aren’t using 2 hands, you are doing it wrong.” I assure you, your husband has more than enough down there to keep both your hands incredibly busy.
  • Mix it up. Don’t do one thing for too long. That can get boring (and sometimes painful.)
  • Play with his balls. Push them up, pull them down (not too hard) just make sure he knows that you know they are there.
  • Treat it almost as a massage. Rub his legs, and every surrounding area. Push his balls up while you massage him. There is also a spot beneath his balls that is hard and VERY sensitive. Rub that as well.
  • Penis tips? Don’t switch your hands up too much or too little. Find the balance your mate likes, and stick with it. Of course there is the normal hand hold, somewhat similar to a man holding a remote. Maybe try using both hands on his penis and moving them up and down at different times. (A similar motion as you would have to milking a cow. Sorry for the visual.) Also you could use both hands wrapped around him traditionally at a time. Covers more area. Don’t put him at a bad angle. That just makes him hurt. Don’t focus just on the tip, that can get painful!
  • Lube, lube, lube, lube, lube! (H20 is great for hand jobs. Not sticky, water based and washed off easily.)
  • Let your hands wander. One hand on his unmentionable while another is on his penis
  • Let your eyes show him how into things you are.
  • Sitting between his legs when he is laying down really does seem to be the easiest for me to perform this pleasure
  • At the very end when you know he’s about to…ya know, pull both his balls down. Big crowd pleaser.
  • Afterwards don’t just dash off to wash up. Linger for a second. Let your hands stay where they are for about 10 seconds. It lets him know you enjoyed your time with him.
  • If you want to throw in some toys or you're feeling a bit lazy, invest in a Masturbation Sleeve and surprise him with it. He'll love the added sensation.

I hope I was able to give you some good tips. It’s harder to talk someone through these things than I knew! Above all, enjoy it. Pick a time when you are relaxed and maybe offer to do that for him. It’s not the same when a guy has to ask for it all the time. And as anything else in this world, practice makes perfect!


  1. That was an interesting read. I'm curious, with all the talk of testicles and penis, what is the "unmentionable" area you are talking about.
    Thanks for the tips.

  2. I'm pretty sure she was referring to his testicles. Thanks for clarifying!

  3. Loved this along with all your other articles...keep them coming!

  4. Great tips! I would just emphasize that some of the most amazing sexual experiences you can have don't actually involve intercourse. He may have fantasies or desires that you can fulfill without actually putting in a lot of effort or having sex. The couple who wrote in about their male chastity fantasy a few months ago is a great example.

  5. oh this happens on many occasions during my sex life!

  6. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you got to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?



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