Let me start by saying that my husband and I have always had a great sex life, but along the way we’ve learned that we can always use improvement in order to make our sex life even more fun and exciting. After nearly 10 years of marriage and two kids later, I can say something that I never thought I’d say - masturbation has greatly improved our sex life.
I must preface this by saying that masturbation is relatively new for me. I didn’t masturbate growing up, and in our early years of marriage, I didn’t give it any consideration. My husband had a regular habit of masturbating (of course!) and when we were engaged, he wanted me to get a vibrator in hopes that I would start my own habit of masturbating. So I purchased a vibrator. Not for myself but for him, and I still remember how unattractive it was. It was big, pink and just plain ugly. Needless to say its services were never put to use.
Fast-forward a few years. After having our first child, we revisited the vibrator topic. As you know, intercourse is out of the question both physically and mentally for those first few postpartum weeks, but once the romance starts to return and the sex drive is heating back up, let’s face it, sex is still not that great. About four weeks after our first child, I was ready to go, but sex was often uncomfortable and even painful at times.
As a result, we went on the search for a new sexier vibrator, but this time it was me who wanted it; I wasn’t simply doing it for my husband. It was the best purchase we have ever made for our sex life, and it allowed me to see for the first time that sex toys can be sexy, fun, and very beneficial.
I am still not one to regularly masturbate alone, but I love doing it in conjunction with my husband. There are many occasions where neither of us feels like having sex, but the thought of only masturbating seems very appealing. No need to find the right position or worry about having enough time. It is fast, easy, and effective.
We masturbate together about twice a week, and it has improved our sex life in more ways than one. I have learned so much about my body through masturbation, including how to better use fantasy, how to have multiple orgasms, and how to better identify G-spot vs. clitoral orgasms. There is something empowering about taking my sexual needs into my own hands, literally.
As I look back, maybe I should have given that big, ugly vibrator a chance!
Check out the vibrator selection at Babeland! They even have a section for beginners! There are also some couple vibrators, mini, discreet and a whole bunch of other categories. The Hitachi Magic Wand is always a favorite as is the Siri if you need a place to start.
If you want a bit more guidance to self lovin check out this book.