Men (and women) stray. They break their promises and commitments. It happens and it's horrible. Cheating is no respecter of a church, courthouse, temple, or synagogue marriage. I don't believe cheating (usually) happens out of thin air. Generally there are months or years of disconnect between husband and wife. Maybe you don't foresee an affair, but but are you connected? Is your marriage rockin' hot or mediocre? How does your man feel? Have you asked him?
A mutually satisfying sex life is a powerful tool to bind couples together. One study explains:
"Sexual satisfaction has been identified as one of the most important factors associated with relationship satisfaction, which in turn is associated with relationship stability (Kumar, 1986). The three most common issues correlated with divorce are financial management, sexuality, and parenting. It is possible that a better understanding of the antecedents of sexual satisfaction could lead to interventions to improve sexual satisfaction and in turn relationship satisfaction and stability, and ultimately a reduced divorce rate.
-From the study, Examining the Relationship Between Antecedents of Sexuality and Women's Reported Level of Sexual Satisfaction During the First Five Years of Marriage.
As a wife you hold in your hands great power. You have the power to make your husband feel like a man or make him feel like a mouse. While a man may stray despite your love and effort, the chances are diminished if you compliment his biceps, tell him what a fabulous lover he is, or thank him for providing for you.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger puts it perfectly:
“Men need validation. When they come into the world they are born of women and getting their validation from mommy is the beginning of needing it from a woman. And when the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like a hero, he’s very susceptible to the charms of some other woman making him feel what he needs. And these days women don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how they can give a man what they need... I hold women responsible for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.”
Neither Dr. Laura nor I are suggesting you become your husband's sex slave. Far from it. The point is to learn to enjoy sex. Stop having a headache. Choose to not be too tired. You cannot control his actions, but you can control your own.
I am here to help my readers think about, and if necessary, change their actions. Most of my readers are girls, so I direct this to you. If my readers were predominately men, this would be a much different post. This message holds truth, of which I am a seeker. Don't allow your feathers to be ruffled. See the message for what it is.
Today, put aside your own wants and needs and think solely of him. What does he need today? What could you do to make him feel like a man?