Focus on Your Strengths

Do you ever see another woman and think to yourself something along these lines- "Wow. She has such a great waistline! I wish I had that." or "Check out her breasts. They're so perky and round. The only way I can get that is with a certain bra and it still doesn't look like that."

Chances are that you have. But, let me tell you a little secret. I bet you that the girl you're admiring and thinking is gorgeous probably doesn't think she is. She's probably so caught up on some little hangup with her body and she neglects to focus on her great aspects that others are likely to see. And you know what, people probably look at whatever your greatest feature is and are jealous of you!

Instead of focusing only on your flaws when you look in the mirror, focus on the strengths. Have you noticed that in advertising pictures or in model shoots the photographer tends to focus on the individual's strengths? Maybe, she has a great butt or great teeth or amazing eyes or stunning hair. Whatever it is- that's what the photographer strives to draw attention to.

Focus on your strengths. If you have long legs wear some lingerie that accentuates this. If you have a great waist line, show it off. If you have large breasts, let them be the one that draws his eyes on to you. If you have great eyes, do your makeup in a way to draw them out even more.

Play off of your strengths. Show them off and have confidence! You can do this inside and outside of the bedroom.

Here's a little example of giving yourself positive affirmations:

Ask the Audience -- Fulfilling Fantasies

A bit of a conversation has started on a past post sparked by this reader's comment.

"My husband just shared his fantasy of having me lock up his manhood in a little cage. He says it's a common fantasy among guys but I've never heard of it. I asked him why he wants me to do this and he said he thought it would be sexy to let me be in control of his sexuality and decide when he was let out. To force a win I said, "Yeah? And what if I don't let you out for a week!?" He said, "That would be your decision... but a lot of women keep their men locked up for much longer than that."

Another reader responded:

"It started in the bdsm community but has broken out and is becoming a popular mainstream activity. I first heard about it on fmh of all places. A girl at my work practices it with her hubby. She wears a clasp on her necklaces that dangles a little silver key on the back of her neck. When I asked her what the key was for she said 'you don't wanna know.' I said I did and she told me it was the key to her hubby's chastity tube (exact words). I was blushing so much I almost tripped on myself getting out of there. I have to admit it made me curious."

I'd love to see the conversation continue if any of you have tried this or have a husband interested in trying this out.

It can be such a great experience to share fantasies with each other. It shows you can be vulnerable with each other. Listen to each other's fantasies and why they're interested if you don't quite understand and see if you can fulfill any of them. Even if you can't fulfill them, it's still a very connecting experience to share them with each other.

If you don't have anything to add to this particular conversation topic, maybe share a fantasy you have talked about or fulfilled with your spouse.