Adding a Little Variety

  • See how many days in a row you can have sex. And how many times you can have sex in just one day.
  • Let him bring you to orgasm as many times as he wants.
  • Have secret words so you can imply what you want in front of the kids (e.g. ice cream=sex).
  • Have slow sex. See how long you can go before climax.
  • Have gentle sex.
  • Have a quickie.
  • Have rougher sex.
  • Get a hotel for a weekend and stay in the room all day.
  • Don't wear underwear under your clothing. This may work better-or at least feel more comfortable-with a dress or a skirt.
  • Do a strip tease. Wear layers. A shirt and a shirt with buttons is a good idea. Wear sheer fabrics. Almost show something, show it quickly and cover it before uncovering it. You can touch him, but he can't touch you.
  • Wear some sexy heels or cowboy boots during your encounter.
  • Play some sex games. Get some dice, play strip poker, twister, wear the twister mat and use it. Do a search for sex games.
  • Have sex with all of the lights on.
  • Try new oils and lubricants.
  • Look up new sex positions and try them out.
  • Have sex in new places- the kitchen, the living room, shower, outside, the car etc. (Remember privacy and obscenity laws, though.)
  • Get a copy of the Kama Sutra and learn more about the Eastern perspective on sexuality.
  • Use sexual toys. There are so many things out there beyond the standard vibrators, rings, sleeves, furniture to help get in a better position, pheromone enhancers etc. Take a look. Do your research.
  • Engage in mutual masturbation. Either stimulate yourself in front of your partner or guide him to what feels good to you.
  • Be verbal when you have sex. Tell him what feels good, better and best (and not so good if necessary).
  • So some role play. Recreate a first date or wedding night. Flirt, tease and have some fun. Try some sexy costumes when you role play if you'd like.
  • Take boudoir pictures. Hide them around for him to find or give him a photo book.
  • Take erotic pictures of each other. (Any good ideas of how to keep them away from children and others?)
  • Share your sexual fantasies with each other. Everybody has fantasies. You can go a step further and see if you can fulfill them in any way.
  • Keep eye contact throughout the entire sexual experience- especially during orgasm when you naturally want to close your eyes. This could be one of the most intimate moments you've shared.


  1. What an awesome list!!!! We do some of these regularly anyway, but a few...he's on the road for the next couple of weeks but when he's in town? Oh the delights I'll have planned to try with him! Thx for the ideas!!! ;)

  2. I like the list. When we feel like we are getting in a rut, we will decide to do it everyday for a week. You have to be creative to avoid doing the same thing everyday.

  3. Another thing we do to keep it spicy is when we want to bet on something (like in a silly argument) we bet sexual favors.

  4. I love this!! I'm always looking for ideas to better my husband and mines sex life!! :)

  5. I really love these ideas too. Good job! Excited to try them.

  6. Love this list! With 4 children 2 of them being 2 Quickies are the name of the game in my house... Love the line about secret words genius>

  7. I love the boudoir photo idea! I just haven't been brave enough yet. My friend did that and said it was a big hit with the hubster.

  8. Yes, fabulous list! Ditto on the photo idea!

  9. Gwen and Alyssa, question for you. I love the suggestion about sharing fantasies. How honest and revealing should you be when sharing fantasies? Some of mine are fantasies mostly because they're things I'm not supposed to do but would like to.

  10. @Anonymous 7:37
    I would be as honest as you can. Most people fantasize about things that are a bit off limits which is why they're often called "fantasies". It's a really intimate experience to share fantasies with each other and get to know each other at a deeper level. Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

  11. Help! My husband just shared his fantasy of having me lock up his manhood in a little cage. He says it's a common fantasy among guys but I've never heard of it. Is this something I should just laugh off or is it indicative of a more sinister problem? Any advice would be appreciated.

  12. @Anonymous 12:05
    I have never heard of that personally and neither has my husband, but we're just two people. I wonder if others on here might have heard something similar. I could post your question as a post and see what others have to say if you're okay with that.
    Did he go very in depth about why he would enjoy that or what aspects of it appeal to him? Is it an S&M turnon for him? The idea of being off limits? Something deeper?

  13. I have a tendency to freak out when confronted with something I don't understand. Thank you for your levelheadedness! :)

    I asked him why he wants me to do this and he said he thought it would be sexy to let me be in control of his sexuality and decide when he was let out. To force a win I said, "Yeah? And what if I don't let you out for a week!?" He said, "That would be your decision... but a lot of women keep their men locked up for much longer than that." I know he could never last much longer than a week because he's usually pawing at me every few days.

    I've been pondering it all day long and I can't wrap my mind around it. Part of me wonders if he is trying to avoid being tempted by his secretary or something. Another part of me thinks that his job as a manager (he's only 28) is stressful and that somehow alleviating himself of the burden of sex helps with that. I just don't know and I would love to hear from someone who has tried this before. I'm totally naive. You would be welcome to use my comments as a post.

    Thank you so much Gwen! X

  14. Oh, and I don't think he's really into S&M or anything weird... unless you count tying each other up with silk scarves on occasion.

  15. Oh, its definitely a thing. It started in the bdsm community but has broken out and is becomming a popular mainstream activity. I first heard about it on fmh of all places. A girl at my work practices it with her hubby. She wears a clasp on her necklaces that dangles a little silver key on the back of her neck. When I asked her what the key was for she said 'you don't wanna know.' I said I did and she told me it was the key to her hubby's chastity tube (exact words). I was blushing so much I almost tripped on myself getting out of there. I have to admit it made me curious. Maybe I should go ask her about it.

  16. I want to hear more about this cage fantasy too. I think we tend to oversimplify our men who have more complex and sensitive desires than we give them credit for. My dh was practically in tears when he tried to convince me to use a certain toy on him that I didn't want to try. Are you planning to do a post about it on this site, Alyssa? --J

  17. i had no idea such a fantasy existed and that a **man** would want it!! im stunned and frankly the thought makes me.... a bit warm under the collar. details girls!! i want details!!

  18. These are all great tips! That mutual masturbation is just awesome when done using some fancy adult toys! Thank you for this post!

  19. Thanks to these tips, partners will surely rekindle sexual relationships! Thanks for sharing.



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