After reviewing the comments from my last post, More, it seems the common theme is wanting to want more sex and needing advice on how to make it happen. I believe it is a learning process that requires study and action. Each post I write is ultimately intended to help you improve your sex life with your husband. Marital intimacy is the single most effective way to unite a husband and a wife.
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If every couple would make daily intimacy their goal there would be fewer husbands who stray, fewer crabby wives, and altogether, less divorce. Clearly there will be days when physical intimacy is simply impossible or unattainable, the point is to make it your goal and your desire. Your relationship with your spouse should be the most lasting and intimate relationship you will ever be a part of. No one is more important than your spouse. Not your mother, your sister, your best friend, or your child.
You can not afford to be too busy or too tired for sex. If you haven't noticed, sex is not merely about the orgasm. While orgasm is a very key piece and should not be discredited, sex is also about submitting yourself to your spouse and reaching a higher emotional connection. Learning to orgasm more easily and increasing your libido are great ways to make marital intimacy more achievable.
These are all just words if you fail to act. Try initiating sex with your husband this week for five days straight and see what happens. You will be closer, happier, hornier, and more in love. Don't tell him what your plan is. Just love him.
P.S. Physical intimacy is not limited to intercourse. Intercourse is not always an option. Get creative and enjoy yourself.
Are you in? Will you commit? Sign up for the 5 Day Challenge in the comments below. And, as always, anonymous comments are welcome. On Friday I'll be eager to hear all of your wonderful stories about how rockin' hot your marriage is!
I will give it a try.
ReplyDeleteI want to play! My husband won't know what hit him :)
ReplyDeleteI am definitely in!
ReplyDeleteI have tried this, in fact we even saw a sex therapist. The therapist said it is good to schedule at least two days a week to have sex, by having pre arranged days the partner who makes the advances will not feel rejected because they will know that is the day to have sex. But nothing has worked for us.
ReplyDeleteMy husband won't even kiss when he doesn't feel horny. He is only 31 and this is really taking a toll on our relationship. I can't even convince him to simply massage each other.
There many articles about woman not wanting sex, yet not enough articles on men who don't want sex. I'd have sex twice a day, everyday if I could. I love lingerie, I'm cute, in good shape/thin, adventurous, yet it goes wasted.
I know how men feel though because when you aren't getting any at home your mind honestly does begin to wander. And you do feel rejected by your partner. My husband only kisses and gives affection when he wants it. If I try to initiate a kiss or sex and he doesn't want it he literally pulls away.
I'm probably the minority on here but I'm hoping other women in my situation might read this and share their stories.
By the way, your idea is great! (if only it worked for for everyone) Keep up the great questions because it will inspire women to talk honestly about sex!
Anonymous, if you feel comfortable,will you send me an email? I'd like to speak privately before I address situations like yours on the blog. gwenisinlove {at} gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI'm in!!!
ReplyDeleteAnnonymous: I have the same problem. Any advice to share?
ReplyDeleteDefinitely something I struggle with! I'm all in for giving this a try!
ReplyDeleteThis will make my husband happy! And I agree with you 100 percent. so many people see sex selfishly-what they can get out of it. That's why so many women stop having sex and make lots of excuses. But it IS about submitting to your spouse (both for husband and wife) and selflessly seeking out an emotional connection. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI'm in =)
ReplyDeleteI'm so in
ReplyDeleteDo you have any tips on having more self confidence while in the buff? I know my sex life would be a rockin' if I wasn't so insecure about myself!
ReplyDeleteI am definitely going to try....
ReplyDeleteI have similar issues with my husband as Anonymous mentioned.
ReplyDeleteI came from Google Reader to comment... on something similar - what happens if you get rejected? How to take it in stride? How to try again the next day??? This is really tricky for me. Being rejected, even nicely, is no fun at all.
I can't wait until my husband and I could have sex every day if we wanted. Our work schedules make it so we only see each other a few times a week to do it. But I will commit to doing it every night he is home with me this week!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! We're the rare couple who seem to be on the same page with frequency etc. We rarely fight about this topic. However, we could BOTH stand a little more 'fun' than the 2-3 times per week we average now! I'm in!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try it too! It's so easy to fall into a routine and then suddenly you realize a week has gone by and you've been running around doing everything BUT each other. Thnx Gwen ;-)
ReplyDeleteDay one- the man comes home a little late and is too tired.
ReplyDeleteAnon 10:11 - That's when you lie down beside him in bed and ask him to hold you while you use your vibrator!!! When one of us is too tired that's what we do and it's funny how fast my husband doesn't stay tired very long! ;) Though it does take some guts to do this when you've been rejected already. Take the leap and see what happens!
ReplyDeletei'm doing it! my husband deserves it and i hope it helps me want things more so that i can say the same for myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm in too! Last night we got in a little tif over eating healthy {of all things...}, so I wasn't in the mood. When we were in bed getting ready to read {we read a little something religious every night before sleepy time}, I just stripped off my pjs and his excitement got me super excited. Reading got put on hold...
ReplyDeleteHaha! I haven't read a book in years ;)
ReplyDeleteI think more women need to learn how to seduce their husbands. I don't think very many husbands would turn down a seducing wife. It is one thing to suggest having sex, but another to make it near impossible for him to resist.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1:41, good job! Now that's what a mean. I think there should be some discussion on how to "get your man in the mood" - seduction.
Yes!! Definitely a post on seducing your husband. The ideas are flowing already...
ReplyDeleteI'm in! Day 1 -check. Wanting it more already :)
ReplyDeleteMy question: Throughout the month there are times when I want it and times when I don't (hormones?). What are some good ways to push through the "not wanting it" times? Does this happen to others?
it took a while but day 4- finally got him ;) so my 5 day challenge starts today
ReplyDeleteHusband commenting here,
ReplyDelete99% of us would love it if our wives took this challenge! You would have us eating out of the palm of your hand. I would do anything for her if my dear wife would give me this kind of attention. I do anything anyway even without the sex but the lovin would really help! You ladies have a lot of power over us husbands.
i guess my hubs is in that other 1%
ReplyDelete