Valentine's Day: A Guide to Lingerie

Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to get a new outfit for the bedroom- especially if you haven't added to your collection in a while or are just needing to start.

If you're skeptical about lingerie, here are some great reasons to try it out:

• It can help get you in the mood
• It helps increase the anticipation
• It helps increase desire
• You can feel sexy
• It adds a little variety
• It will get him more excited
• You can feel beautiful
• You can feel "dressed up"

If you're thinking, but I'm not one of those tiny girls with huge boobs that should wear lingerie, then get that thought out of your head. Those girls are very few and far between. Your husband married YOU. Your husband is attracted to YOU. YOU need to show that you love and appreciate your body how it is. YOU need to take control and give yourself some positive messages about how you look. Embrace the Muffin Top (we all have)!  Plus size women still look sexy and can order lingerie. Be daring and try some out!

I've been ordering most of my lingerie through Yandy for a couple years now. I love them because it is good quality, inexpensive and usually take about 3 days for it to arrive at my house and their return policy is great if something doesn't work out.

If you're having a difficult time knowing where to start, here are some descriptions and links to help you out.

BUSTIER

$9.95
NOTE: Yandy usually includes the garters, underwear and stockings

• Intended to accentuate curves.
• May have a little extra help and support in the bust line
• Tend to push the breasts up and together to create cleavage
• Note: May take a bit of time to get adjusted and sized once you receive it
• Prices start at $7.95

CORSET

$23.95

• Intended to give a smooth line
• Cinch in the waistline to suck in the tummy
• Note: May take a bit of time to get adjusted and sized once you receive it

BABYDOLL

$35.95

• Flowing and feminine
• Open over stomach
• Some have supportive underwire, others don't
• I think these are great for when you're pregnant and your belly just needs space, but you still want to feel dressed up
• Prices start at $4.95 at Yandy

CHEMISE

$19.95

• No buttons, snaps, velcro or zippers. Easy on. Easy off.
• Looks like a very short dress or long shirt
• Can be fitted or loose at the waist
• Usually a delicate fabric
• Great if you're a bit self-conscious of your mid-section
• There are longer gowns too
• Prices start at $5.95

ROMPERS

$27.95

• Basically like a one-piece swim suit with a lot less fabric or coverage
• Great if you want to be a tease
• Take good care of it or else you'll be untangling it whenever you want to wear it
• Prices start at $13.95 at Yandy

DRESSES

$37.95

• Great for dressing up to go out
• Simple sexy

Bra & Panties

• Simple and easy
• Basic coverage
• Matching
• $20 Sets at Yandy

Bra Top Sets

• The top is a bra, the bottom could be a skirt or thong or boyshorts or fishnets etc.
• The bra isn't a supportive, every day bra
• Prices start at $5.95

Pasties

• Just covers a small area in the middle of your breast with adhesive

Teddys

• Usually a thin lace or silk fabric
• Generally cut in a shape hugging V-shape to minimally cover breasts and crotch

Costume Lingerie

• Great for variety or role playing or fantasy fulfilling etc.

Don't forget Robes and Shoes, too.

What's your favorite style of lingerie and why?

The Game of Love

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If you missed out last year, make sure you create your very own Game of Love for Valentine's Day (It's in 24 days, by the way!).

You can just use a flat sheet so you can put it on your bed whenever you're ready to go if you don't want to use a fitted sheet. Then, create your own game board. The number of squares will be the number of "moves" you'll have to fill in. Basically, you come up with some moves to get him in the mood, tease each other a bit and have some fun. You don't have to wait until Valentine's Day to give him this gift, either.

In case you're wondering, here are The Official Game of Love Rules:
1. The player will roll a die, but the highest number can be 3 (so divide by 2 or the game goes too fast!)
2. Each square has a 1 1/2 minute time limit
3. No getting carried away- you have to stop at 90 seconds and roll again (the hubs might fight you on that one)
4. Only one person "plays" your role is just the game "facilitator"
5. The Final square is "Score" and you can't skip ahead (if ya know what I mean)

You can steal some ideas from Monica here or this list:
Shoulder rub
A little peck
-1 piece of clothing
1st base (pic of base)
Strawberries/Grapes
I love you because...
Head massage
Forward # spaces
Lose a turn
??? (roller’s choice of what you do-but remember you are doing it for the other person) 
French please!
Love the ladies (whoever rolls this the girl wins ;)
Choose your lotion (back rub…)
Mini make-out
Foot rub
2nd base
Outfit choice (you choose what the other will wear)
Back one space
Music
Free touch
+1 piece of clothing
Whipped cream
Sexy dance
XOXO…
Kiss every inch
???-your choice
Look, but don’t touch…
Forward two spaces
I love you because...
Trace/Draw on me…
Talk to me
9x8-3=??
I like mine French
"Head" massage
Close your eyes
3rd base
Chocolate pudding
Lose a turn
SCORE!!! (make sure this is last. I may have made my game go a bit odd and required lots of arrows to ensure this was last...)

If you want some toys go here. If you want to find some new, affordable lingerie go here. It could be a fun tradition to get something new (at least) every year.

Has anybody tried out this game? 

Did you actually make it through?

During the "Fourth" Trimester

You now know a bit about personal care, intimacy and sex positions during pregnancy (see here) But what about after the baby?

I don't know about you, but I didn't really hear much about how your body recovers and how a sex life can continue post-pregnancy.

First off, let's just talk logistics.

You have a newborn baby which likely means....

• You aren't getting very much sleep
• The sleep you do get is in short spurts
• You rarely have time to shower and take care of yourself
• Your breasts have now taken on a whole new purpose and are more sensitive than you ever thought they would be
• Your breasts will hurt. Breastfeeding is hard and takes a while to get used to.
• You will likely have a really heavy period that lasts 2-6 weeks
• Your crotch will be a mess. You may have torn or had an episiotomy.
• You will be terrified to squat on the pot and poop.
• Not only will you be terrified to use the restroom, you might be a wee bit scared to let anything in that general area as well
• You will still have pregnancy fat for a while. It took 9 months to put on and will probably take that long to get off.
• You will be on an emotional roller coaster. You thought pregnancy was bad? Just wait. You could end up being a constant fountain of tears.
• Birth control could be difficult to figure out after having a baby. There are a variety of options. Make sure you talk to your health care provider. And yes, you can become pregnant right after having a baby even if you're breastfeeding.
• Most health care providers suggest not having sex for 6 weeks after the birthing process
• You will be worried about your baby and find it difficult to have an entire conversation with your husband
• ..... and the list could go on and on.

Having a baby is just hard! It's hard emotionally, physically, mentally and relationally.

If you have any, some or most of the typical baby adjustments going on, it could be hard to even have time to think about sex or even some quiet romance between you and your husband.

Let me tell you this little secret... If you have a good relationship with your husband, parenting will be so much easier than if you don't. Nourish the relationship you have with your spouse. Get out on dates. Make time for each other. Don't neglect each other. Communicate. That is my best advice for sex during the fourth trimester. Make each other a priority. Don't make the baby the only focus of your life and push your husband to the back burner. He will help out more and having a baby will be more manageable as you remember to include him in your life.

Husbands have a tough role during the fourth trimester. They don't quite know what you're going through and are trying their best to adjust to fatherhood and continue being supportive of your role as a mother. Be kind to your spouse.

A few other tips I have for you...

• If your doctor strongly recommends you wait 6 weeks, wait 6 weeks. You don't want to risk a tear or infection. There are other ways to satisfy both you and him.
• Take it slow when you have sex again post-baby. Basically, it will be like it's your first time again. Relax. Use lube. It's common for there to be some dryness with all of the hormone changes. You may also notice you aren't as tight anymore. Do some kegels. Take control of your encounter. If you had a c-section, your abs will likely hurt a lot so just take it slow. You don't want to hurt yourself.
• You will be interrupted by a crying baby. It's just a matter of when. Men tend to react physically more to this than women at times. I heard some people that called their baby crying the "penis alarm" because they would inevitably be interrupted and the man would lose his erection. It just happens. Laugh it off and resume later.
• Visit a lactation specialist to get help breastfeeding. It should only hurt for a few weeks. If it's still hurting, just go get some feedback. Breastfeeding also helps you burn the baby fat faster than working out and helps your uterus shrink back. Once you get breastfeeding down, it will be easier for you to realize that breasts can be for fun and function. Lanolin works wonders.
• Shower, get dressed and take good care of yourself. You will be more in the mood when you are well taken care of. Find some lingerie that you feel good in. Lace does wonders for stretch marks...
• Don't get all caught up in your stretch marks, baggy skin, the fact you can't fit in your pre-pregnancy pants etc. You just birthed a baby! Your husband is likely thrilled that you carried that baby and happy to have the baby around. He doesn't care that your body is changed and neither should you.
• Track when the baby tends to sleep and plan a little bedroom retreat during a nap time. Your hormones will be a bit crazy and having sex usually tends to make you feel a bit better and like you can deal with life again or if you're highly anxious and having trouble sleeping, maybe it will make you sleepy.
• Accept other people's offers to help and watch the baby a bit- even if it's just for an hour nap for yourself or for a free meal. Don't feel like you have to do everything perfectly as a new mom. Nobody actually does everything on their Pinterest Board.

What helped get you through the fourth trimester?

What questions do you have about after delivery?

Sex Stopper: The Neighbors Downstairs

Remember this post about the awkwardness of downstairs neighbors?

Husband and I recently moved and no longer have upstairs or downstairs neighbors. Oh. My. Gosh. It is SO freeing!

I never realized how much I worried about being too loud or good timing of sex until having the freedom we have here. It's wonderful. I used to worry about not having sex too late or too early or giggling or making any of the other sounds accompanied with enjoying each other. I think my libido was stunted simply by knowing other people were around and could hear. We can now enjoy tickle fights, afternoon delights, middle-of-the-night encounters (which we had only done once in our previous years of marriage due to my worrying about neighbors) and even just talking in bed before falling asleep. It's amazing! I love having time to him and not worrying about others hearing our conversations or anything else.

I hope that some of you that are still sharing walls and ceilings will eventually be able to enjoy the freedom of having your own place.

What improvements have you noticed recently to your love life?

When You're Sick

Is it just me or does anybody else have a cold just in time for it to get warm and fun outside?

When my husband and I were first married, we had this unspoken rule that touching and kissing and certainly love-making was off limits when one of us was sick. Maybe some of you relate or maybe you think that's just plain ridiculous. But, seriously though. I'm not always feeling the most beautiful or energetic or even really alive when I'm under the weather. When I have a cold, I sometimes wad up the edge of a tissue and just shove it up my nose. Super sexy-right?!

I mean, why would he even really want to touch me when my hair is a disaster, my nose is red, my eyes are puffy and I probably have dried snot somewhere on my clothes and/or body. The truth is- he still does want to touch me. That's some unconditional love right there!

I got that lucky. Even in my crusty, nasty sick state, my husband still loves to cuddle me, play with my hair, fetch me tissues and even initiate a quickie. It's amazing for me. I crave touch and closeness- especially when I'm sick. I'm glad we were able to get over that initial bump years ago and realize it's okay to still touch each other when one or both of us is under the weather. He knows just what to do to make me feel better. I remember hearing once in my sex therapy class that having an orgasm can actually help relieve some sick symptoms (even if just momentarily). Maybe it's just placebo effect, but I'll take it.

How do you survive getting through sickness with each other?

What do you need/want?

Is touching allowed?

Remember this episode of Friends where Monica is sick and still ends up seducing him?

Pregnancy -- Part I

Pregnancy can and will introduce a lot of new issues into marriage, intimacy and life in general.

Whether your pregnancy was planned or unplanned, your baby will start impacting your marriage in ways you never realized. The hormonal fluctuations and other symptoms begin as soon as pregnancy begins!

Some changes you might notice may include breast tenderness, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, frequent urination, headaches and body aches. These make life a little more interesting. For example, you may have once been the woman running around always full of energy- working, cooking, cleaning, participating in the community and having great, energetic sex every other day. Now, you may have to cut back in some areas.

My advice to you: cut back where it will hurt you and your relationship the least in the long-run.

Another thing that may occur is your husband becoming very protective of you regardless of symptoms you may or may not be experiencing. He may demand that he take over all of your previous roles and worry about having sex with you and "hurting" the baby. Communicate well with your partner. Tell him what you need and appreciate, but also let him take care of you if he really wants to. Give and take. Pregnancy is a great time to work on perfecting communication- it will be much harder once the baby comes.

Tips for surviving early pregnancy:

• Nurture your relationship with your husband. Make sure you're still engaging in daily conversation- even if it's just between napping sessions. Keep track of times when you have more energy and feel better and try to schedule couple time to coincide. 
• You may not have the energy for sex like you once did, but find other ways to introduce romance. Encourage him to do the same. 
• Get as much rest as possible. Listen to what your body needs and do it.
• Learn when to say no. You don't have to have a 100% clean house with dinner made every night and fulfill every single obligation you once had. Relationships are more important than things and tasks.
• Find foods that you can stand and will give you good energy. If you're having food aversions and nausea then you really need to make what you eat count.
• If you are incredibly nauseous, seek help. There are now amazing tips, tricks, vitamins and prescriptions that can help ease the symptoms of morning sickness. Life just isn't as enjoyable if nausea is always hanging over your head.
• Don't use pregnancy as an excuse to avoid having sex. Unless instructed by your doctor (e.g. high risk pregnancy) sex is totally safe and encouraged. If certain areas are more sensitive or reacting differently than they used to, tell your partner and adjust as necessary, but you should still be able to enjoy sex.
• The first trimester is generally a time of lower than normal sex drive. The good news is you can still usually get in the mood even if it takes a little bit longer and your libido should go up again during the second trimester (around 12-14 weeks).
• Realize that pregnancy is an amazing and beautiful experience! Make sure your husband realizes it, too. You may not feel like you have a glow when your head is shoved in the toilet bowl, but realize that you have been blessed with a great gift. Female bodies are so beautiful and amazing in their ability to hold and sustain life. Be grateful. 
• Husbands, make sure you are telling her how beautiful and wonderful it is that she is carrying your offspring. You'll need to remind her often and sometimes you'll feel like your words are falling on deaf ears, but it will pay off.

What helped you survive early pregnancy?

Please comment with questions and/or comments regarding pregnancy that you want to see addressed.

Showing Love

I love Valentine's Day because it gives me an extra chance to go out of my way and do something romantic for my husband. So often, people have the stereotype that men must provide the romance in a relationship, but it's great to break free from that expectation. I'm sure your man will love it, too!

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For tomorrow night, I made our very own Game of Love (inspired by here), gave our bedroom a romantic face lift and got a new outfit to try out. Thanks to Pinterest, I also made a deck of cards with 52 Reasons Why I Love Him. I'm generally not a very creative or artsy person, but sometimes I try to give it a shot. Luckily, he always appreciates the things I do for him.

Speak to your husband in his love language and he'll love whatever you do.

Do you have any Valentine's Day traditions?

What are you giving your hubby?

P.S. Don't forget to enter the giveaway for Tiani through tonight at midnight!

Feelin' Sexy Friday: Boudoir Pictures

I realize Boudoir Photos could be controversial.

Do you think it's okay to show so much skin to somebody who is not your husband?

Have you had a good or bad experience?

What about your husband?

Boudoir Pictures could be a great gift for your spouse and seem to be becoming more popular. Recently, I've seen a lot of deals for these on my local Groupon and other deal sites.

These are a great gift for a spouse that's going away on deployment or a business trip, a memento of your young body, a fun surprise, or an idea for a girls night.

There can be a lot of variety in boudoir pictures.

If you're a bit camera shy you could just do some digital pictures with your girl friends or ask others about photographers they've used.

You could even set up timed pictures and do them yourself. If you're doing them yourself, turn the flash off and maybe have some candles or soft lighting. It'll leave a soft, subtle glow and be forgiving of any imperfections you worry about.

You choose the level of nudity you are comfortable with. I've seen some really classy boudoir photos where they're still sexy but have some mystery.

You can choose the style you'd like. For example, vintage pinup style may be better for those of you that have a few more curves since that's the style anyway.

You can do them inside, use your bedroom, outside or in a studio setting.

Mix up what you're wearing. You could gradually lose clothing in each picture or just have a variety of outfits you wear or don't wear.

It's all about attitude. Be confident and comfortable. If you feel sexy, you'll look sexy.

Types of Kisses

It's amazing how other cultures have incorporated kissing into daily life. They kiss when they say hello, goodbye, good morning, sorry etc. It got me thinking about different kinds of kisses.

Greeting Kiss

You basically touch cheeks and make a kissing sound

Cheek Kiss

You kiss the cheek, quickly with your lips only

Lip Peck

Squish your lips together and place them on the other person's lips

The French "Soul" Kiss

You open your mouth and stick your tongue into the other's mouth. You may do this quickly before pulling it out or use your tongue to explore the other's mouth.

The Pain Kiss/Necking

You start kissing, but open your mouth slightly and take a quick nibble. This is usually done on the neck so it can be referred to as necking or the Vampire Kiss.

Just for fun, I looked up a list of some bad kisses. I love some of these names!

The Roto Rooter: Their tongue ventures so far down your throat that it actually begins to choke you.

The Swordfish: They operate their tongue much like a swordfish uses it's snout, in a blunt and violent manner.

The Deep Sea Diver: They rarely come up for air.

The Lizard: Their tongue darts in and out of your mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.

Frozen in Time: They never change the position, posture or angle of their head. It is as if they have mastered kissing cryogenics.

The Squid: They seem to excrete an awful flavor. All you can think of is how to slip them a breath mint.

The Wrecking Ball: They kiss like a battering ram. Whoa, look out, here they come again!

What fun kisses have you tried to mix things up?

Any that you've really hated?

Faking Orgasms

Are you guilty? Why do you do it?

It's estimated that as many as two-thirds of women fake orgasms during their lifetime. Men fake orgasms, too.

Instead of faking next time, actually enjoy a good orgasm (or two or three or more!). Remember, that it's estimated that only 8% of women will never be able to achieve orgasm. So you will likely be able to figure it out.

Here's how you can:

1. Practice on your own
2. Mutual Masturbation
3. Practice Sensate Focus
4. Tell him what you like before, during or after

Check out this post for more ideas

Consummation

I have a few friends and acquaintances getting married this summer as I'm sure we all do. A lot of these couples haven't had sex during their courtship.

One scenario I've heard quite often with these girls is that she is unsure if she wants to have sex the first night or not. I've actually heard a few guys admit that they are a bit unsure about sex the first night, too. Most explain their anxiety saying it will be quite the jump from the activities they've been engaging in thus far and maybe they wouldn't be ready. They acknowledge the sexual tension and desire are there, but they're still unsure. They have so many questions and don't know how it will happen. It's completely new territory.

This is one common example of the Good Girl Syndrome that I've seen. I've also heard the phrase, "Sex is dirty and evil- save it for someone you love" to explain the conflicting messages some get about sex in relationships. How confusing! A moment passes, an official says a few words and suddenly you can consummate your marriage. It can be a really difficult transition for some.

What advice would you share with these newlyweds?

Will it just come naturally?

What did you do (or wish you would have done) to prepare for your wedding night?

Comfort Sex

There was recently an article about comfort sex.Most women don't orgasm the first few times and the number one sexual dysfunction for men is premature ejaculation so flings may not be as potentially enjoyable as a monogomous relationship. The author talks about how when you're in a long-term relationship, it's easier to relax. A long-term relationship provides the comfort needed to fully release control, get to know your partner and develop a sexual script. There's joy in knowing how things are going to happen and knowing you don't always have to put on a show. There's comfort in knowing you'll love each other no matter what.

Some people while having sex or trying something new start to engage in spectatoring- worrying about what they're doing while they're doing it. This makes sex much less enjoyable and can even contribute to some sexual dysfunction.

The best comfort sex allows you to just relax and enjoy the full benefits.

Sheet Music by Kevin Leman

A colleague recently recommended this book to me and I absolutely love it! Dr. Leman is a Christian Psychologist and is very clear and blunt in this book while still being tasteful. This is a great book to help you in your sexual relationship and marriage. He talks about sexual satisfaction, dysfunction, a few positions and techniques, differences and similarities between men and women etc.

Here's a little excerpt: (you may have to click to zoom in and read)

The Art of the Strip Tease

Doing an at home strip tease could be a fun, short little thing you do or you could get prepared by practicing and then make it a performance. It's a great way to build your self confidence, too! Get dressed up and let your husband enjoy.

Wear Layers such as a button up shirt, a lace bra, a short skirt, lace panties, stockings, heels. The point is to keep your body a mystery and slightly hidden. A thong or barely wearing anything will dull some of the anticipation. You could even layer some sexy items under your every day clothes and surprise him as you start undressing for bed.

Have confidence. Make sure you feel comfortable in whatever you are wearing. He'll love if you can flaunt what you have. Remember, he loves you and your body- muffin top and all!

You could see if there are pole dancing fitness classes in your area. It's a great workout! Then, invest in a pole and give your hubby a private show.

Try one of the Aerobic Striptease workout videos at home and then perform for your husband.

Use some music and dance around a bit.

Have some rules like you can touch him, but he can't touch you unless directed to.

Set it up to make sure he has a good view. Put him on a chair or on the bed.

Walk around a bit, turn around. Give him a good view of everything.

Slowly undress. When you're about to remove something, give him a little peek, then cover it up, then slowly take it all the way off. When you're ready to take your bra off completely, turn around and then slowly turn back toward him.

Start with accessories then work from the head down.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman is a practical book to help improve your marriage. It's a quick, easy read and you can get your spouse involved in reading each chapter and doing the activities with you.

Gottman makes a great case for marriage and exposes some myths about marriage as well.

People who stay married live four years longer than people who don't.

Half of all divorces will occur in the first seven years of marriage.

About 60% of all conflicts that occur in a marriage will remain unresolvable. Yes, happily married people still argue!

Men are more easily physiologically overwhelmed by marital conflict than are their wives.

In his sample, 94% of the time that couples put a positive spin on their marriage's history, they were likely to have a happy future as well.

Gottman is sometimes known as the divorce predictor. He has averaged 91% accuracy in determining whether a couple will stay together or divorce in three separate studies after watching a couple interact for only 5 minutes. He uses a lot of the observational data he gathered from the Seattle Love Lab- a house where couples would come and live and be observed by his team of researchers.

Happy Father's Day

Whether or not your man is a father yet, take some time to show him how much you really care about him today.

Tell him how grateful you are for him.
Appreciate all he does.
Give him a chance to do something he loves and enjoys.
Show him how much you love him.

Swimsuit Season

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Make sure you check out our past posts on grooming in preparation for swimsuit season.

Also, if you subscribe to coupons and have a Walmart nearby you may be able to score a Noxzema Bikini Razor for free by using a $2 coupon from 5/11 Red Plum insert. I've never used a Noxzema bikini razor, but I've read some good reviews and it's free so it's worth a shot!

Feel free to share any other tips, tricks or advice!!

Adding a Little Variety

• See how many days in a row you can have sex. And how many times you can have sex in just one day.
• Let him bring you to orgasm as many times as he wants.
  
• Have secret words so you can imply what you want in front of the kids (e.g. ice cream=sex).
  
• Have slow sex. See how long you can go before climax.
  
• Have gentle sex.
  
• Have a quickie.
  
• Have rougher sex.
• Get a hotel for a weekend and stay in the room all day.
  
• Don't wear underwear under your clothing. This may work better-or at least feel more comfortable-with a dress or a skirt.
  
• Do a strip tease. Wear layers. A shirt and a shirt with buttons is a good idea. Wear sheer fabrics. Almost show something, show it quickly and cover it before uncovering it. You can touch him, but he can't touch you.
  
• Wear some sexy heels or cowboy boots during your encounter.
• Play some sex games. Get some dice, play strip poker, twister, wear the twister mat and use it. Do a search for sex games.
  
• Have sex with all of the lights on.
• Try new oils and lubricants.
  
• Look up new sex positions and try them out.
• Have sex in new places- the kitchen, the living room, shower, outside, the car etc. (Remember privacy and obscenity laws, though.)
  
• Get a copy of the Kama Sutra and learn more about the Eastern perspective on sexuality.
• Use sexual toys. There are so many things out there beyond the standard vibrators, rings, sleeves, furniture to help get in a better position, pheromone enhancers etc. Take a look. Do your research.
  
• Engage in mutual masturbation. Either stimulate yourself in front of your partner or guide him to what feels good to you.
• Be verbal when you have sex. Tell him what feels good, better and best (and not so good if necessary).
  
• So some role play. Recreate a first date or wedding night. Flirt, tease and have some fun. Try some sexy costumes when you role play if you'd like.
  
• Take boudoir pictures. Hide them around for him to find or give him a photo book.
  
• Take erotic pictures of each other. (Any good ideas of how to keep them away from children and others?)
• Share your sexual fantasies with each other. Everybody has fantasies. You can go a step further and see if you can fulfill them in any way.
• Keep eye contact throughout the entire sexual experience- especially during orgasm when you naturally want to close your eyes. This could be one of the most intimate moments you've shared.
  

Money, Sex, and Happiness

I came across this article on WebMD that caught my attention. You can view the published article it's referring to here.

Sex is better for your happiness than money.

That's what these researchers from Dartmouth found. Pretty amazing-right? They found that "sex enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American."

"Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex -- married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year."

That's a pretty hefty raise!

Shy Erotica

This list includes more mild forms of erotica and romance that you could use in your relationship.

• Reminisce about how you fell in love. Tell him what you loved/love about him.
  
• Public Displays of Affection. Hold hands, rub his back, play with his hair, nibble his ear, kiss etc.
  
• Try to inconspicuously rub or grab his butt (or other things) while out.
  
• Have a make out session. Better yet, make out somewhere outside of your home.
  
• Write love notes on the shower wall.
• Get dressed in front of your husband in the morning. Ask him to help you put your bra on.
  
• Plan a relaxing night in. Send the kids away.
• Get out for a couples massage.
• Massage each other at home.
• Send him out on a mission to choose some lingerie for you.
• Go buy lingerie together.
• Wear lingerie out on your date under your clothing and subtly give him a little sneak peek for when you get back home.
• Do the housework in lingerie. Change in to your lingerie before he gets home from work.
  
• Watch a romantic movie together.
• Read a romantic book or poetry.
  
• Do Sensate Focus.
• Compile sensual music that gets you both in the mood.
  
• Incorporate food (e.g. strawberries, whipped cream, honey)
• Light some scented candles. Scents such as jasmine, lavender, and ylang ylang are said to be aphrodisiacs, but do your research.
  
• Write love notes in emails or texts. Talk dirty.
• Meet for your lunch break at home.
• Take control of a sexual encounter.
  

I'm working on another list with some ideas that may require a bit more bravery and higher comfort level, but I thought I'd start by sharing this one.

What other suggestions do you have?