Halloween Costume Sale

The Halloween Costumes are on sale over at Yandy.com. If you want a sexy costume for next year or for your husband's private viewing pleasure, head over there and score a great deal.

It could even be fun to dress up in something like this while you're going about the mundane tasks around the house and see how he reacts- or something like this under your clothes to surprise him with at bedtime once the kids are in bed. Happy Shopping!

VibeRite

The Hitachi Magic Wand has new competition! Still looking for some help reaching that mind-blowing orgasm? Check out the Vibe Rite and its attachment, the Flutter Tip.

Right now, buy the new VibeRite Wand and you'll get the Flutter Tip Wand Attachment at 50% off. 

Just add both items to your cart and add promo code WAND2 at checkout.

That's $61.50 for BOTH!

A Romantic Bedroom

A friend once told me great advice to "Just focus on keeping one room clean because after that it's just too overwhelming- especially after having kids." I tend to focus on the bedroom (and the kitchen). It's nice to have a place to just relax and feel calm.

• Less is more. Keep it simple and clean.
• Go to the dollar store and get some tea light candles and rose petals and perhaps some sheer sheets to hang over or around your bed
• Organize all of your stuff in ways that work for you
• Have some fun with the sheets
• Clean it regularly
• Make the bed every night before you get in bed
• Check out here for more ideas

During the "Fourth" Trimester

You now know a bit about personal care, intimacy and sex positions during pregnancy (see here) But what about after the baby?

I don't know about you, but I didn't really hear much about how your body recovers and how a sex life can continue post-pregnancy.

First off, let's just talk logistics.

You have a newborn baby which likely means....

• You aren't getting very much sleep
• The sleep you do get is in short spurts
• You rarely have time to shower and take care of yourself
• Your breasts have now taken on a whole new purpose and are more sensitive than you ever thought they would be
• Your breasts will hurt. Breastfeeding is hard and takes a while to get used to.
• You will likely have a really heavy period that lasts 2-6 weeks
• Your crotch will be a mess. You may have torn or had an episiotomy.
• You will be terrified to squat on the pot and poop.
• Not only will you be terrified to use the restroom, you might be a wee bit scared to let anything in that general area as well
• You will still have pregnancy fat for a while. It took 9 months to put on and will probably take that long to get off.
• You will be on an emotional roller coaster. You thought pregnancy was bad? Just wait. You could end up being a constant fountain of tears.
• Birth control could be difficult to figure out after having a baby. There are a variety of options. Make sure you talk to your health care provider. And yes, you can become pregnant right after having a baby even if you're breastfeeding.
• Most health care providers suggest not having sex for 6 weeks after the birthing process
• You will be worried about your baby and find it difficult to have an entire conversation with your husband
• ..... and the list could go on and on.

Having a baby is just hard! It's hard emotionally, physically, mentally and relationally.

If you have any, some or most of the typical baby adjustments going on, it could be hard to even have time to think about sex or even some quiet romance between you and your husband.

Let me tell you this little secret... If you have a good relationship with your husband, parenting will be so much easier than if you don't. Nourish the relationship you have with your spouse. Get out on dates. Make time for each other. Don't neglect each other. Communicate. That is my best advice for sex during the fourth trimester. Make each other a priority. Don't make the baby the only focus of your life and push your husband to the back burner. He will help out more and having a baby will be more manageable as you remember to include him in your life.

Husbands have a tough role during the fourth trimester. They don't quite know what you're going through and are trying their best to adjust to fatherhood and continue being supportive of your role as a mother. Be kind to your spouse.

A few other tips I have for you...

• If your doctor strongly recommends you wait 6 weeks, wait 6 weeks. You don't want to risk a tear or infection. There are other ways to satisfy both you and him.
• Take it slow when you have sex again post-baby. Basically, it will be like it's your first time again. Relax. Use lube. It's common for there to be some dryness with all of the hormone changes. You may also notice you aren't as tight anymore. Do some kegels. Take control of your encounter. If you had a c-section, your abs will likely hurt a lot so just take it slow. You don't want to hurt yourself.
• You will be interrupted by a crying baby. It's just a matter of when. Men tend to react physically more to this than women at times. I heard some people that called their baby crying the "penis alarm" because they would inevitably be interrupted and the man would lose his erection. It just happens. Laugh it off and resume later.
• Visit a lactation specialist to get help breastfeeding. It should only hurt for a few weeks. If it's still hurting, just go get some feedback. Breastfeeding also helps you burn the baby fat faster than working out and helps your uterus shrink back. Once you get breastfeeding down, it will be easier for you to realize that breasts can be for fun and function. Lanolin works wonders.
• Shower, get dressed and take good care of yourself. You will be more in the mood when you are well taken care of. Find some lingerie that you feel good in. Lace does wonders for stretch marks...
• Don't get all caught up in your stretch marks, baggy skin, the fact you can't fit in your pre-pregnancy pants etc. You just birthed a baby! Your husband is likely thrilled that you carried that baby and happy to have the baby around. He doesn't care that your body is changed and neither should you.
• Track when the baby tends to sleep and plan a little bedroom retreat during a nap time. Your hormones will be a bit crazy and having sex usually tends to make you feel a bit better and like you can deal with life again or if you're highly anxious and having trouble sleeping, maybe it will make you sleepy.
• Accept other people's offers to help and watch the baby a bit- even if it's just for an hour nap for yourself or for a free meal. Don't feel like you have to do everything perfectly as a new mom. Nobody actually does everything on their Pinterest Board.

What helped get you through the fourth trimester?

What questions do you have about after delivery?

New Toy for the Ladies

Looking for a new toy?

Give the Sqweel a try. It's likely to make you do just as it's called! This one of the few oral sex simulators I've seen.

Tip: Be sure to have some lube on hand. Put the lube on your fingers and then have it run over instead of glopping the lube right onto the Sqweel.

If you need some pointers or tips be sure to check out the new section on Babeland's website about Sex Info and Tips.

When He's in the Mood and You Aren't

When asked to write this blog post for Gwen in Love, I was excited and a little terrified. I am well versed in the “in’s and out’s” of sex, but writing about it so publicly is a whole new thing for me. My husband and I have been married for over 3 years and in that time we have had a child and have another on the way. Needless to say, I’m not always “in the mood” when he is. So that is why we have BOTH discovered a great love for hand jobs.

I know many women don’t enjoy giving these and many more feel uncomfortable while doing it. So here are a few tips I have to make your experience and his, a little more enjoyable.

• Remember, this time is as much about you as it is about him. Don’t laugh. I’m serious. Once I realized this, it made it so much better. You aren't just giving him his jollies so he will roll over and go to bed.
• You are totally in control. You can make this experience as long or as short as you want. YOU are the one that gets to decide.
• Go in with a good attitude. If you begrudgingly start rubbing your husband, he feels that, in more than one way. It will take it longer for him to enjoy his time, and chances are will just make you bitter.
• Take the time to feel sexy beforehand.  Put on some lingerie, roll on pheromone enhancer and do your makeup. The better you feel going in, the better he will feel.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff! 
What is it that some women do that make their husbands beg for more?

• As my husband says, “If you aren’t using 2 hands, you are doing it wrong.” I assure you, your husband has more than enough down there to keep both your hands incredibly busy.
• Mix it up. Don’t do one thing for too long. That can get boring (and sometimes painful.)
• Play with his balls. Push them up, pull them down (not too hard) just make sure he knows that you know they are there.
• Treat it almost as a massage. Rub his legs, and every surrounding area. Push his balls up while you massage him. There is also a spot beneath his balls that is hard and VERY sensitive. Rub that as well.
• Penis tips? Don’t switch your hands up too much or too little. Find the balance your mate likes, and stick with it. Of course there is the normal hand hold, somewhat similar to a man holding a remote. Maybe try using both hands on his penis and moving them up and down at different times. (A similar motion as you would have to milking a cow. Sorry for the visual.) Also you could use both hands wrapped around him traditionally at a time. Covers more area. Don’t put him at a bad angle. That just makes him hurt. Don’t focus just on the tip, that can get painful!
• Lube, lube, lube, lube, lube! (H20 is great for hand jobs. Not sticky, water based and washed off easily.)
• Let your hands wander. One hand on his unmentionable while another is on his penis
• Let your eyes show him how into things you are.
• Sitting between his legs when he is laying down really does seem to be the easiest for me to perform this pleasure
• At the very end when you know he’s about to…ya know, pull both his balls down. Big crowd pleaser.
• Afterwards don’t just dash off to wash up. Linger for a second. Let your hands stay where they are for about 10 seconds. It lets him know you enjoyed your time with him.
• If you want to throw in some toys or you're feeling a bit lazy, invest in a Masturbation Sleeve and surprise him with it. He'll love the added sensation.

I hope I was able to give you some good tips. It’s harder to talk someone through these things than I knew! Above all, enjoy it. Pick a time when you are relaxed and maybe offer to do that for him. It’s not the same when a guy has to ask for it all the time. And as anything else in this world, practice makes perfect!