Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Terrific Tan

A huge element in having a good sex life is confidence. How will you possibly enjoy yourself if you don't feel confident and sexy? Trust me. You won't -- so take control. On Fridays we'll share tips on how to feel sexy.

Do you have any?

A good tan never fails me. I know, I know. SO bad for you. But as Carrie says, "A time may come when we won't be so young and beautiful."

Everyone...

This children's book, Everyone Poops, got me thinking.

When I was a teenager, my developing sexuality often made me feel freakish.

"What in the world is happening to me?!"

It wasn't until after I had been married a few years that I figured it out. Everyone is doing it. Seriously. Everyone. Even my mom is doing it. That's when I decided to stop being ashamed of my sexuality and learn to love it.

If I Could Make Out Anywhere...

...it would be under the Eiffel Tower. I could roll around in the grass for hours underneath the iron lattice. Perfectly romantic.

Image source

Where would you make out?

God, Allah, or Conan O'Brien - Sexual Satisfaction In Marriage

Church going girls often "save” themselves for marriage. (I wrote about why I admire this trait here.) I recently read a study done in January 2010 by the Universities of Florida and Wisconsin called Religiosity and the Sexuality of Women: Sexual Behavior and Sexual Satisfaction Revisited. In the group of women studied, the average age of women to first have intercourse who attended church on a weekly basis was 20 years. In contrast, the average age of women who did not attend church was 18.3 years. If your sexual and marital goals are similar to mine, this makes a compelling argument for church attendance.

Hooray for church-going girls! But why do most church-going girls want to wait? What is the end goal? Why does God want us to wait?

I believe it is because He wants us to be closer to our husbands and more fully enjoy the benefits of love and sex. He wants to maximize our sexual freedom and pleasure and not limit us.

It seems we easily forget this and become frigid “good girls” who hang onto the notion that we must wait for sex. Breath my married BFF’s, the wait is over. You’re married now. Having sexual thoughts and feelings is being a good girl. Sex is one of the most powerful tools to improve your relationship, to bond it, and to share yourself exclusively with your husband. God-fearing women should know this. However, the study mentioned above concluded that non-church goers are more satisfied with their sex lives. Marital sexual satisfaction for non-church goers is 5.13 out of 6. Marital sexual satisfaction for church goers is 4.77. It seems to me that we are missing the point.

Are you sexually and emotionally satisfied in your marriage? Wouldn’t you like to be more than merely satisfied? How do you reach Aphrodite status?

Read and learn about it in a comfortable environment, open dialogue with your hubby, and then, my favorite -- practice!

Whether you believe in God, Allah, or Conan O'Brien, we all want to be closer to our husbands. Here we go.

Are you in?

P.S. New poll on the sidebar

Slice Of Advice: Being Mad

"Try not to both be mad at the same thing at the same time. At least one of you should try to offer a positive point of view."

This was the first slice of advice from Annie's book and it has always stuck with me. The concept reminds me of a teeter-totter. When one side is down, the other must be up. The goal should be balance.

Husband was disappointed when, right before last year's season finale of Lost, the power went out. I saw the tears welling up in his eyes and took action before the flood gates opened. (jk) I told him we could play Sawyer and Kate trapped in a polar bear's cage. Balance restored.

Photo Courtesy of Anna Kuper Photography of San Francisco, CA

Has this slice of advice been helpful in your marriage?

Gwen's Slice of Advice

For my bridal shower, my BFF, Annie, asked all of the guests to write me a little note offering a slice of wedding advice. She compiled the notes into a sweet little book. I love my little book. Some of the advice was silly and some was sage. It ranged from spiritual to sexual. Some I disagreed with and others I cherished.

I am so excited to introduce a segment I like to call, Gwen's Slice of Advice.

Photo courtesy of Love Me Do Photography of Philadelphia, PA

To kick off the show, Let's hear what advice you've received. Was it good advice?

Better All The Time

Boyfriend became husband and it just keeps getting better all the time. I'd hate to say "my marriage is more awesome than your marriage," but, my marriage is more awesome than your marriage. (bring on the comments)

In all seriousness, this has not always been the case. I used to wish that my love story could be like the movies. I wanted to be Noah's Allie. The good news is that after a lot of effort and dedication, it can be.

Love is like anything; the more you nurture and focus on it, the better it becomes. You can't expect to be a master cellist if you never pick up the cello. Do you think Yo-Yo Ma became who he is by laying on opposite sides of his cello in bed at night? Or by listening to the TV instead of it? I would guess not. I would think he held it. Touched it. Listened to it.

Photo Courtesy of Jonathan Canlas Photography

Want to make your marriage iconic? You're in the right place.

Hanky Panky

Boyfriend and I wanted to wait until we were married before there was any hanky panky -- one of the reasons I believe we were so compatible.

My reasons for waiting:

1. Babies. I wanted to know each other as husband and wife before we knew each other as mamma and pop.

2. Bonding. In waiting to share that bond, we showed each other dedication.

3. Patience. If waiting for sex doesn’t make you a more patient person, I don’t know what will.

4. The Wedding Night. What good is the wedding night if you’ve already sealed the deal?

5. I just might be a little bit of a tease and it was fun to make him squirm.

Photo Courtesy of a Sarah Rhoads

How about you? Did you want to wait? Any compelling arguments for not waiting?

Be sure to take the pole on the side bar.

P.S. We had a very short engagement.

My Name is Gwen

I reluctantly opened the door to meet my blind date when it happened. Fireworks exploded on the horizon, Michael Bublé came strutting across the lawn for a private serenade, and I fell flat on the floor in love at first sight. By the time our entrées came I knew I wanted to spend forever with him, and by the end of the movie I wanted to make his baby — right then. I am not that kind of girl, but he made me wish I was. He kissed me like he knew what I looked like naked. He was a man in every sense of the word: handsome, charming, athletic, employed. We were wild about each other. Our life goals fit together as perfectly as our hands. He would provide and fix things and I would cook and raise babies. Together we’d put the rad in traditional and I would be the perfect wife.

My name is Gwen, and I am in love.

Photo courtesy of Lane Dittoe