Faking Orgasms

Are you guilty? Why do you do it?

It's estimated that as many as two-thirds of women fake orgasms during their lifetime. Men fake orgasms, too.

Instead of faking next time, actually enjoy a good orgasm (or two or three or more!). Remember, that it's estimated that only 8% of women will never be able to achieve orgasm. So you will likely be able to figure it out.

Here's how you can:

1. Practice on your own
2. Mutual Masturbation
3. Practice Sensate Focus
4. Tell him what you like before, during or after

Check out this post for more ideas

Consummation

I have a few friends and acquaintances getting married this summer as I'm sure we all do. A lot of these couples haven't had sex during their courtship.

One scenario I've heard quite often with these girls is that she is unsure if she wants to have sex the first night or not. I've actually heard a few guys admit that they are a bit unsure about sex the first night, too. Most explain their anxiety saying it will be quite the jump from the activities they've been engaging in thus far and maybe they wouldn't be ready. They acknowledge the sexual tension and desire are there, but they're still unsure. They have so many questions and don't know how it will happen. It's completely new territory.

This is one common example of the Good Girl Syndrome that I've seen. I've also heard the phrase, "Sex is dirty and evil- save it for someone you love" to explain the conflicting messages some get about sex in relationships. How confusing! A moment passes, an official says a few words and suddenly you can consummate your marriage. It can be a really difficult transition for some.

What advice would you share with these newlyweds?

Will it just come naturally?

What did you do (or wish you would have done) to prepare for your wedding night?

What's in Your Bank Account?

John Gottman often talks about the Emotional Bank Account within a relationship.

Every time a good or positive interaction takes place, a deposit is made.

Each time a negative interaction occurs, a withdrawal occurs.

Gottman found that strong, stable couples often had 5 Positive to every 1 Negative interaction that occurred within their relationship. They are positive 5 times more than they are negative!

It's okay to make suggestions about what your partner could change, be late for a date or have a bad day. Nobody is perfect, but you need to make sure that these withdrawals aren't over- drafting your account.

What's in your bank account?

What are some of the big deposits that your spouse does for you?

Check out The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last for more information.