The Art of the Strip Tease

Doing an at home strip tease could be a fun, short little thing you do or you could get prepared by practicing and then make it a performance. It's a great way to build your self confidence, too! Get dressed up and let your husband enjoy.

Wear Layers such as a button up shirt, a lace bra, a short skirt, lace panties, stockings, heels. The point is to keep your body a mystery and slightly hidden. A thong or barely wearing anything will dull some of the anticipation. You could even layer some sexy items under your every day clothes and surprise him as you start undressing for bed.

Have confidence. Make sure you feel comfortable in whatever you are wearing. He'll love if you can flaunt what you have. Remember, he loves you and your body- muffin top and all!

You could see if there are pole dancing fitness classes in your area. It's a great workout! Then, invest in a pole and give your hubby a private show.

Try one of the Aerobic Striptease workout videos at home and then perform for your husband.

Use some music and dance around a bit.

Have some rules like you can touch him, but he can't touch you unless directed to.

Set it up to make sure he has a good view. Put him on a chair or on the bed.

Walk around a bit, turn around. Give him a good view of everything.

Slowly undress. When you're about to remove something, give him a little peek, then cover it up, then slowly take it all the way off. When you're ready to take your bra off completely, turn around and then slowly turn back toward him.

Start with accessories then work from the head down.

Avoiding the Fate of Jon and Kate Plus 8

I know, I know, I'm totally behind the times. The break up of Jon and Kate was eons ago. But I was watching Kate Plus 8 the other night and just kept thinking how sad the whole situation was. What happened really? Did the kids get in the way? Were the just selfish people? I honestly don't read enough tabloids to know the details. But I do know that children can cause stress and chaos. With the kids being home for the summer, I'm sure a few of you are already wishing for September!

Here are a few ideas I've been pondering:

• DATE! Go on dates with your husband! You need the time alone and chances are, the kids will be grateful too!
• Dedicate at least 15 minutes of focused time to your kids so they won't feel sad when you sneak into the bedroom for 15 minutes with your man ;)
• Don't give up. There are seasons of life. Try to look past the diapers and late night feedings. Someday you'll be empty nesters and have him all to yourself.

Do you find that your marriage struggles when the kids struggle? What do you do to stay positive with your spouse when all you want to do is send the kids to boarding school? How do you plan on avoiding the fate of Jon and Kate?

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman is a practical book to help improve your marriage. It's a quick, easy read and you can get your spouse involved in reading each chapter and doing the activities with you.

Gottman makes a great case for marriage and exposes some myths about marriage as well.

People who stay married live four years longer than people who don't.

Half of all divorces will occur in the first seven years of marriage.

About 60% of all conflicts that occur in a marriage will remain unresolvable. Yes, happily married people still argue!

Men are more easily physiologically overwhelmed by marital conflict than are their wives.

In his sample, 94% of the time that couples put a positive spin on their marriage's history, they were likely to have a happy future as well.

Gottman is sometimes known as the divorce predictor. He has averaged 91% accuracy in determining whether a couple will stay together or divorce in three separate studies after watching a couple interact for only 5 minutes. He uses a lot of the observational data he gathered from the Seattle Love Lab- a house where couples would come and live and be observed by his team of researchers.

Happy Father's Day

Whether or not your man is a father yet, take some time to show him how much you really care about him today.

Tell him how grateful you are for him.
Appreciate all he does.
Give him a chance to do something he loves and enjoys.
Show him how much you love him.

Reader Experience -- Overcoming Sexual Abuse

One of the biggest frustrations in my life hasn't been "the best way to please my husband." The majority has been the frustration of how to have a loving and romantic relationship when sexual abuse is a part of my past. There are many degrees of sexual abuse, and all of it affects your ability to fully open up your body to a loved one.

As backwards as it seems, many people who have endured sexual abuse blame themselves. The reason is not clear and even though I have done that, it still boggles my mind. No matter what kind of person you were, or the abuser was, it was not your fault. Ultimately it only matters on the kind of person you strive to be. If you want to be able to give your mind, body and soul to a loved one, then you can. It may take months or even years, but it is possible.

Talk to someone. Whether it be your spouse, a friend or a professional. Someone needs to know and be the sounding board for the things that burden your heart. You don't need to go into extensive detail of every little thing that has ever happened to you. Just share what effects it has on you now. I for one had a hard time letting my spouse touch me in a romantic way. Some ways I was touched, positions and even words reminded me of the pain I had gone through and I shut down. I could not perform sexually when feeling past violation creep up.

The biggest step to my healing was learning that my husband is not a past abuser. He is a loving and caring man and wouldn't hurt me in the same way. It is so important to separate the people you love in your life away from an abuser.

Abuse is a very painful and horrible topic. Being open and honest about do's don'ts and other things will make love making a little more loving and a little less painful. Let your spouse in on the things that burden you in bed so that he can help you through it. And most of all, enjoy your spouse.

Swimsuit Season

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Make sure you check out our past posts on grooming in preparation for swimsuit season.

Also, if you subscribe to coupons and have a Walmart nearby you may be able to score a Noxzema Bikini Razor for free by using a $2 coupon from 5/11 Red Plum insert. I've never used a Noxzema bikini razor, but I've read some good reviews and it's free so it's worth a shot!

Feel free to share any other tips, tricks or advice!!

Adding a Little Variety

• See how many days in a row you can have sex. And how many times you can have sex in just one day.
• Let him bring you to orgasm as many times as he wants.
  
• Have secret words so you can imply what you want in front of the kids (e.g. ice cream=sex).
  
• Have slow sex. See how long you can go before climax.
  
• Have gentle sex.
  
• Have a quickie.
  
• Have rougher sex.
• Get a hotel for a weekend and stay in the room all day.
  
• Don't wear underwear under your clothing. This may work better-or at least feel more comfortable-with a dress or a skirt.
  
• Do a strip tease. Wear layers. A shirt and a shirt with buttons is a good idea. Wear sheer fabrics. Almost show something, show it quickly and cover it before uncovering it. You can touch him, but he can't touch you.
  
• Wear some sexy heels or cowboy boots during your encounter.
• Play some sex games. Get some dice, play strip poker, twister, wear the twister mat and use it. Do a search for sex games.
  
• Have sex with all of the lights on.
• Try new oils and lubricants.
  
• Look up new sex positions and try them out.
• Have sex in new places- the kitchen, the living room, shower, outside, the car etc. (Remember privacy and obscenity laws, though.)
  
• Get a copy of the Kama Sutra and learn more about the Eastern perspective on sexuality.
• Use sexual toys. There are so many things out there beyond the standard vibrators, rings, sleeves, furniture to help get in a better position, pheromone enhancers etc. Take a look. Do your research.
  
• Engage in mutual masturbation. Either stimulate yourself in front of your partner or guide him to what feels good to you.
• Be verbal when you have sex. Tell him what feels good, better and best (and not so good if necessary).
  
• So some role play. Recreate a first date or wedding night. Flirt, tease and have some fun. Try some sexy costumes when you role play if you'd like.
  
• Take boudoir pictures. Hide them around for him to find or give him a photo book.
  
• Take erotic pictures of each other. (Any good ideas of how to keep them away from children and others?)
• Share your sexual fantasies with each other. Everybody has fantasies. You can go a step further and see if you can fulfill them in any way.
• Keep eye contact throughout the entire sexual experience- especially during orgasm when you naturally want to close your eyes. This could be one of the most intimate moments you've shared.
  

Money, Sex, and Happiness

I came across this article on WebMD that caught my attention. You can view the published article it's referring to here.

Sex is better for your happiness than money.

That's what these researchers from Dartmouth found. Pretty amazing-right? They found that "sex enters so strongly (and) positively in happiness equations that they estimate increasing intercourse from once a month to once a week is equivalent to the amount of happiness generated by getting an additional $50,000 in income for the average American."

"Overall, the happiest folks are those getting the most sex -- married people, who report 30% more between-the-sheets action than single folks. In fact, the economists calculate that a lasting marriage equates to happiness generated by getting an extra $100,000 each year."

That's a pretty hefty raise!