Feelin' Sexy Friday -- Makeup

I just bought myself some new makeup. I love getting all dolled up and trying out new looks. Sometimes, if I'm feeling down, I just walk into the bathroom and put on some makeup. It can really make me feel like a million bucks. Sure maybe it seems a bit conceited, but I LOVE it and the effect it has on me is just amazing!

I love that some companies are making Kits that teach you new looks.

Thanks to Pinterest I've been finding a lot of suggestions, tips and tricks.

Do you wear makeup regularly?

What's your favorite look?

Choosing the Right Underwear

The right underwear can make me feel like a million bucks. Nothing like being perky, shapely, feminine and sexy-right?! Plus, it's always a bonus when my bra actually matches my panties. Yandy has some great sets for a decent price.

Have you heard of How to Look Good Naked. I love perusing the videos and checking out tips to look and feel better.

Here's a clip about choosing the right underwear for your body type:

What's your favorite style to wear?

Do you have a favorite brand?

Make sure you check out the tips for choosing a bra that fits.

New Positions

Have you been looking for something to mix things up a bit? Check this out for some book recommendations and brief descriptions of sex positions.

Here are some illustrations for visual learners. These are sketches so they're not too explicit, but you've been warned. Here, here, here and here.

Also, here are some descriptions of good positions for getting pregnant for those of you that might be interested. *Edit: And here are some descriptions of good positions while you're pregnant because having a protruding belly really demands some creativity in the bedroom.

Trying new positions can be a fun way to spice up your sex life. It can end up being really erotic, really funny or both. Next time you're in bed, surprise him with some new moves or make a suggestion to try something new.

What's your favorite position? 

What's the one you've had the most fun trying?

Make the First Move

Often in a rut in marriage, a person can get stuck in thinking that every problem is because of their spouse. "We wouldn't be like this if he didn't ____", "We'd be better off if she'd just _____", "I'll do ___ when he finally does _____" etc.

The problem is, relationships don't work like that. You can't just sit around wishing for your spouse to change. Both of you contribute to how the relationship is going. If you change a little bit, it's likely going to impact how the two of you interact together. If you change for the better, things will start to change. It may take lot of effort. It may even take time.

Do you want your marriage to last? Do you truly unconditionally love your spouse? Are you willing to stick with them through thick and thin? Are you willing to work hard to make your marriage the best it could possibly be?

Start trying a little more. Push yourself to show him you love him- even when he's driving you crazy that day. Remember those little romantic gestures he used to do for you when you were first married? Why don't you try doing some for him? Don't wait for him to make the first move. You can help make your marriage stronger and even better no matter where it currently is. There is always hope and room for improvement.

Want some guidelines of what to do and where to start? Check out The Love Dare. It's a 40-day challenge to start practicing unconditional love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope you have a wonderful day and night.

The winner of Tiani has been emailed. Please, check your email if you entered to win.

Just for fun, check this out:

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How did you spend your money this year?

Showing Love

I love Valentine's Day because it gives me an extra chance to go out of my way and do something romantic for my husband. So often, people have the stereotype that men must provide the romance in a relationship, but it's great to break free from that expectation. I'm sure your man will love it, too!

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For tomorrow night, I made our very own Game of Love (inspired by here), gave our bedroom a romantic face lift and got a new outfit to try out. Thanks to Pinterest, I also made a deck of cards with 52 Reasons Why I Love Him. I'm generally not a very creative or artsy person, but sometimes I try to give it a shot. Luckily, he always appreciates the things I do for him.

Speak to your husband in his love language and he'll love whatever you do.

Do you have any Valentine's Day traditions?

What are you giving your hubby?

P.S. Don't forget to enter the giveaway for Tiani through tonight at midnight!

To Zap or Not to Zap? -- Laser Hair Removal

I'm curious, how many of you would use or have used laser hair removal?

I've been seeing a lot of Groupons and other daily deals for laser hair removal lately. I've been pretty old fashioned in how I remove hair and I'm still somewhat skeptical about the hair actually staying away with laser removal.

I've heard it feels a bit like being zapped by a rubber band, but they can get about a one-inch square with each zap. No pain, no gain-right?

What are your thoughts on the Brazilian? I kind of like the option of knowing I can grow hair if I want to. Plus, when my girls go through puberty I don't want them to think they're crazy weird aliens. Husband is more for well-groomed hair because he doesn't want to feel like I'm a prepubescent girl and he thinks if he's going to expect me to be bare then I should probably expect something of him, too.

These are the current results from our sidebar poll:
How do you care for the hair down there?

All natural. Easy and free.

  88 (20%)

 

Just bikini line.

  193 (45%)

 

I'm a Brazilian Goddess.

  116 (27%)

 

Hair where?! What? I'm so confused!

  31 (7%)

 

If you've had laser hair removal done, how have you liked the results?

Do you think the Brazilian is just a trend or will it last?

That Awkward Moment

... When your downstairs neighbors bang on the ceiling because you're being too loud.

The ironic part in this situation is that we had heard them a couple hours previously. And to make it even more funny (to me) is they are newlyweds. We've never, ever had somebody bang on the ceiling for us until now. We know what it's like to live beneath really loud people and try to be as discrete as possible. Maybe, it's time to try out a foam mattress- are those any better?

There must be some unwritten rules about situations like this, but just for fun, let's come up with our own.

1. Have sex when and where you want in your own place. If you want it, go get it!
2. If it's an awkward time of day/night, try to be discrete. Whisper, don't swing and jump off chandeliers, but it's understandable that there will likely be some noise.
3. Don't yell and moan with the windows or door open.
4. Don't yell and moan for minutes and minutes on end (e.g. 45 minutes straight). Some voice control is good.
5. Try not to bang on the wall, headboard or footboard.
6. If you hear your neighbors, give them adequate time to finish. Laugh about it or maybe partake of some fun of your own.
7. Invest in a sound machine or sleep with a fan on to drown out potentially unwanted sounds.

There are actually some noise ordinance lawyers that you can look into if you're in a pretty bad situation.

Have you been the downstairs/next-door neighbor banging on the ceiling?

Have you ever had somebody bang on the ceiling hinting that you should quiet down?

What rules do you have about sex when living in close proximity to others?

Valentine's Giveaway -- Tiani

I'm so very excited for this giveaway hosted by Babeland!

Tiani by Lelo brings vibrators to a whole new level! Valued at $159, this wonderful vibrator hugs the clitoris while also getting the G-spot giving you the Wowowow effect! You will love the joy (and orgasms) this smooth little toy brings to your sex life. It's great to use as a couple because you can leave it in place during penetration! It has a wireless remote that mimics the speed and vibration.

Check out what Babeland has to say about it:

"Welcome to a very exciting new world of couples' vibration, courtesy of the Tiani from Lelo. Tiani's smooth, U-shaped form slides easily into place, hugging the clit and G-spot in a cuff of remote-controlled vibrating pleasure; leave it comfortably in place during penetration to add rechargeable, waterproof, hands-free vibration to any sexual adventure! The bonus here is a new technology known as SenseMotion: you can change Tiani's vibration pattern and strength with a mere flick or tilt of your wrist, and you'll feel the vibrations in the remote control, too. (Or set it to manual mode, and it works just like any other remote control vibrator, with a range of up to 39 feet.) Couples' vibrators keep getting better and better, and Tiani is leading the pack. Variable speed; six vibration patterns. This product has a one-year warranty against breakage or defects."

This would be great to spice up your Valentine's Day!


Please use the entry form below or access it here.

Reader Experience-- Premature Ejaculation

"My hubby and I have a great marriage but I don't feel like I will ever be able to orgasm during intercourse. Often times when I feel like it is hitting just the right spot my husband finishes before I can enjoy it.
I know he feels bad about it but he can't help it.  I can't help but feel like I don't even have enough time to learn what feels good during sex or experiment if penetration only lasts a short while."

I'm so grateful that you'd reach out to get some advice and support. This shows a lot of strength and patience on your end which I'm sure is so great within your relationship. It can be so hard to continually try to enjoy sex, but also know that it could be better. This sounds what's happening could be premature ejaculation.

Symptoms of premature ejaculation could include the following:

• The primary sign of premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before both partners wish, causing concern or stress
• Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs within one minute of vaginal penetration
• The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations
• Negative personal consequences, such as stress, frustration or the avoidance of sexual intimacy

As a side note, the average time from the beginning of intercourse to ejaculation is generally about 5-10 minutes.

Like I've mentioned before, it's generally best to match treatment with the cause. If it's a psychological cause, try a psychological treatment. In cases with sexual dysfunction it's also beneficial to work on biological aspects as well.

Psychological Causes

• Situations in which you may have hurried to reach climax in order to avoid being discovered
• Guilty feelings that increase your tendency to rush through sexual encounters

Biological Causes

• Abnormal hormone levels
• Abnormal levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters
• Abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system
• Certain thyroid problems
• Inflammation and infection of the prostate or urethra
• Inherited traits

Read more about other possible causes here.

Treatment
The squeeze technique is a very common and successful way of treating premature ejaculation.

Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until he feels almost ready to ejaculate. You need to make sure you're communicating. If he's not sure when he's on the verge of orgasm have him start with tracking what that feels like.

Step 2. As the partner, squeeze the end of the penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes. Either he or you can do this. It's best to move to having the partner do it.

Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.

Step 4. If you again feel you're about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.

After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.

Another way of trying to delay ejaculation is the start and stop method. In your situation, it sounds like penetration is possible so it may be good to stop and have him pull out when he feels like he's reached the point of no return. Then, wait a bit and then try again a few times.

If your husband talks to you about the experience, listen and empathize with him and let him know that you are willing to be patient and still enjoy sex. You can also tell him that there's hope and treatment is possible. If none of the above suggested treatments work, it may be good to go and talk to the doctor. There are many anesthetic creams and even medications that can help. I've heard  that avoiding sex for a while helps some not ejaculate quickly when they come together again and others try to have sex frequently (once or more a day) and that helps them- it just depends on what works best for each couple. Other things to try may include having him try to get you to orgasm at least once before penetration and then having you about ready to go once he's ready to penetrate by using manual stimulation.

I'd love to hear a follow up on how things go. I wish you the best of luck!

Any other readers out there have experience and/or suggestions for premature ejaculation?

Valentine's Day -- What to Wear

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