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Occasionally, we post some interesting research and links over there like these...

Why Sex is a Better Headache Cure than Painkillers


The impact of sexual activity on idiopathic headaches: An observational study.


Vanilla sex is OUT, porn addiction is IN: Disturbing survey reveals how porn is damaging our relationships



Designer Genitalia: The Modification of Women’s Genitals

Pregnancy -- Part I

Pregnancy can and will introduce a lot of new issues into marriage, intimacy and life in general.

Whether your pregnancy was planned or unplanned, your baby will start impacting your marriage in ways you never realized. The hormonal fluctuations and other symptoms begin as soon as pregnancy begins!

Some changes you might notice may include breast tenderness, fatigue, nausea and vomiting, frequent urination, headaches and body aches. These make life a little more interesting. For example, you may have once been the woman running around always full of energy- working, cooking, cleaning, participating in the community and having great, energetic sex every other day. Now, you may have to cut back in some areas.

My advice to you: cut back where it will hurt you and your relationship the least in the long-run.

Another thing that may occur is your husband becoming very protective of you regardless of symptoms you may or may not be experiencing. He may demand that he take over all of your previous roles and worry about having sex with you and "hurting" the baby. Communicate well with your partner. Tell him what you need and appreciate, but also let him take care of you if he really wants to. Give and take. Pregnancy is a great time to work on perfecting communication- it will be much harder once the baby comes.

Tips for surviving early pregnancy:

• Nurture your relationship with your husband. Make sure you're still engaging in daily conversation- even if it's just between napping sessions. Keep track of times when you have more energy and feel better and try to schedule couple time to coincide. 
• You may not have the energy for sex like you once did, but find other ways to introduce romance. Encourage him to do the same. 
• Get as much rest as possible. Listen to what your body needs and do it.
• Learn when to say no. You don't have to have a 100% clean house with dinner made every night and fulfill every single obligation you once had. Relationships are more important than things and tasks.
• Find foods that you can stand and will give you good energy. If you're having food aversions and nausea then you really need to make what you eat count.
• If you are incredibly nauseous, seek help. There are now amazing tips, tricks, vitamins and prescriptions that can help ease the symptoms of morning sickness. Life just isn't as enjoyable if nausea is always hanging over your head.
• Don't use pregnancy as an excuse to avoid having sex. Unless instructed by your doctor (e.g. high risk pregnancy) sex is totally safe and encouraged. If certain areas are more sensitive or reacting differently than they used to, tell your partner and adjust as necessary, but you should still be able to enjoy sex.
• The first trimester is generally a time of lower than normal sex drive. The good news is you can still usually get in the mood even if it takes a little bit longer and your libido should go up again during the second trimester (around 12-14 weeks).
• Realize that pregnancy is an amazing and beautiful experience! Make sure your husband realizes it, too. You may not feel like you have a glow when your head is shoved in the toilet bowl, but realize that you have been blessed with a great gift. Female bodies are so beautiful and amazing in their ability to hold and sustain life. Be grateful. 
• Husbands, make sure you are telling her how beautiful and wonderful it is that she is carrying your offspring. You'll need to remind her often and sometimes you'll feel like your words are falling on deaf ears, but it will pay off.

What helped you survive early pregnancy?

Please comment with questions and/or comments regarding pregnancy that you want to see addressed.

Reader Experience-- Premature Ejaculation

"My hubby and I have a great marriage but I don't feel like I will ever be able to orgasm during intercourse. Often times when I feel like it is hitting just the right spot my husband finishes before I can enjoy it.
I know he feels bad about it but he can't help it.  I can't help but feel like I don't even have enough time to learn what feels good during sex or experiment if penetration only lasts a short while."

I'm so grateful that you'd reach out to get some advice and support. This shows a lot of strength and patience on your end which I'm sure is so great within your relationship. It can be so hard to continually try to enjoy sex, but also know that it could be better. This sounds what's happening could be premature ejaculation.

Symptoms of premature ejaculation could include the following:

• The primary sign of premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before both partners wish, causing concern or stress
• Ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs within one minute of vaginal penetration
• The inability to delay ejaculation on all or nearly all vaginal penetrations
• Negative personal consequences, such as stress, frustration or the avoidance of sexual intimacy

As a side note, the average time from the beginning of intercourse to ejaculation is generally about 5-10 minutes.

Like I've mentioned before, it's generally best to match treatment with the cause. If it's a psychological cause, try a psychological treatment. In cases with sexual dysfunction it's also beneficial to work on biological aspects as well.

Psychological Causes

• Situations in which you may have hurried to reach climax in order to avoid being discovered
• Guilty feelings that increase your tendency to rush through sexual encounters

Biological Causes

• Abnormal hormone levels
• Abnormal levels of brain chemicals called neurotransmitters
• Abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system
• Certain thyroid problems
• Inflammation and infection of the prostate or urethra
• Inherited traits

Read more about other possible causes here.

Treatment
The squeeze technique is a very common and successful way of treating premature ejaculation.

Step 1. Begin sexual activity as usual, including stimulation of the penis, until he feels almost ready to ejaculate. You need to make sure you're communicating. If he's not sure when he's on the verge of orgasm have him start with tracking what that feels like.

Step 2. As the partner, squeeze the end of the penis, at the point where the head (glans) joins the shaft, and maintain the squeeze for several seconds, until the urge to ejaculate passes. Either he or you can do this. It's best to move to having the partner do it.

Step 3. After the squeeze is released, wait for about 30 seconds, then go back to foreplay. You may notice that squeezing the penis causes it to become less erect, but when sexual stimulation is resumed, it soon regains full erection.

Step 4. If you again feel you're about to ejaculate, have your partner repeat the squeeze process.

After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.

Another way of trying to delay ejaculation is the start and stop method. In your situation, it sounds like penetration is possible so it may be good to stop and have him pull out when he feels like he's reached the point of no return. Then, wait a bit and then try again a few times.

If your husband talks to you about the experience, listen and empathize with him and let him know that you are willing to be patient and still enjoy sex. You can also tell him that there's hope and treatment is possible. If none of the above suggested treatments work, it may be good to go and talk to the doctor. There are many anesthetic creams and even medications that can help. I've heard  that avoiding sex for a while helps some not ejaculate quickly when they come together again and others try to have sex frequently (once or more a day) and that helps them- it just depends on what works best for each couple. Other things to try may include having him try to get you to orgasm at least once before penetration and then having you about ready to go once he's ready to penetrate by using manual stimulation.

I'd love to hear a follow up on how things go. I wish you the best of luck!

Any other readers out there have experience and/or suggestions for premature ejaculation?

GIVEAWAY -- Hold on to Me

I'm so excited that Babeland is sponsoring a giveaway of Hold on to Me Kegal Spheres!

These are wonderful, multi-purpose spheres to have around. Having strong PC muscles helps with so many things! Your ability to control and intensify your own orgasm PLUS enhance your partner's experience goes up a ton with stronger PC muscles. You could even use them alone to help warm yourself up and get in the mood for your partner.

Some general wellness benefits include more bladder control as well as preparing you to have more control during childbirth. These spheres are small and inconspicuous. There's a little vibration from the sphere as it moves around inside of you and you can increase the weight or have two spheres attached. They are completely comfortable and body safe as well.

Here's what Babeland has to say about them:
Keep vaginal muscles toned with the Hold On to Me kegel spheres, part of the Bedroom Kandi line created by Kandi Burruss from Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” Whether you want to strengthen your PC muscles to intensify orgasms, grip your partner more tightly during intercourse, improve your childbirth experience, or maximize bladder control, these spheres can help do the trick. The spheres come in four graduated weights; users can start with the lighter weights and gradually increase weight as they get stronger.

Fill out the entry form below: If you have trouble viewing or submitting this form, you can fill it out online: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?formkey=dEFNd054cklGb0t4SjhUNkhQVDJDTkE6MQ

Special Price: And They Were Not Ashamed

Laura Brotherson is doing a special on her book And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment as an end of year gift. You can currently get the ebook for $4.99. You can also get the hard copy for about $12.

This book is so great for every single stage of a relationship. It's tasteful and informative. I refer a lot of my clients to this book. It's written in such a way you can skip between chapters or read straight through. I especially love the chapter covering The Good Girl Syndrome. Amazon lets you preview a few pages. Check it out and add it to your bookshelf.

Have you read it? What was the best thing you got from this book?

What Helps Boost Your Libido?

Due to demand, I've created a poll to hear what you do to increase your sex drive.

Feel free to share ideas in the comments!

What helps boost your libido?
	Exercising regularly
	Relaxation
	Talking myself into enjoying it
	Aphrodisiacs
	Eating Healthy
	Boosting my self-esteem/self-image
	Fantasizing
	Flirting
	Taking supplements and/or medication
	Sensate Focus
	Dressing sexy
	Practicing on my own
	Initiating and taking control
	I can't figure out anything that works, yet
	I don't need any boost in my libido! It works just fine!
pollcode.com free polls

Causes of Low Libido

It's perfectly normal to have a high desire and a lower desire partner. Problems may arise in a couple when they don't work with these differences in a respectful manner. Just like other parts of your relationship, there are times when you do things even if you're not really wanting to. Learn to like having sex because it's something that your partner wants and you can fulfill this desire for them even if you're not in the mood initially (and chances are that with sex you'll be in the mood very shortly after starting). It's possible to enjoy sex every time! Sure, it might not be mind-blowing every time, but you can still enjoy it.

Aside from general differences, there are common factors that research has found to be correlated with a decreased libido. A slide show from MedicineNet shows some common sex drive killers.

What issues do you believe affect your sex drive?
	Stress
	Unresolved Issues with Partner
	Alcohol
	Too Little Sleep
	Parenting Chaos
	Medication
	Poor Body Image
	Obesity
	Erectile Dysfunction
	Low Testosterone
	Depression
	Menopause
	Too Little Intimacy
pollcode.com free polls

You can anonymously leave comments with other possible contributors to your sex drive if it's not included in the poll.

Erectile Dysfunction

It is estimated that about 90% of men will experience some kind of erectile problem at some point in their lives. In most cases, the problem is short-lived and is quickly resolved.

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability to maintain an erection during sexual activity at least 25% of the time. The majority of ED causes are psychological, but physical and other issues may contribute. A common cycle that occurs in men that struggle with ED is that an erection is difficult to achieve during one encounter, then he worries about it and may worry about it during other encounters inhibiting erection or avoid sexual encounters. Worrying about it makes it more difficult. Sometimes, ED may act as a precursor to future cardiovascular disease.

Common treatments include maintaining a healthier lifestyle- eating well, exercising regularly, quitting smoking, treating cardiovascular issues and having relational support. Having a supportive partner can make all of the difference.

A Woman's Guide to ED

Diagnosis & Tests

7 Myths of ED

Difficulty Reaching Orgasm

You’ll notice in the statistics on sexuality post that 8% of women rarely or never orgasm. This may surprise quite a few of you. I’ve heard a lot of women say that they can’t orgasm and worry that they never will. However, most of them figure it out.

I once heard a sex therapist compare an orgasm to a sneeze. That is that it varies so much from individual to individual. It varies in intensity, length, frequency etc. Don't compare yourself to others.

In order to properly treat this, first examine what you think the possible cause is. Are you stressed out? Are you on medications? Do you feel somewhere in your mind that you should not enjoy sex? Do you have a good marital relationship? Is sex painful or uncomfortable?... There are a number of factors that could contribute to lack of orgasm so just make sure you’re doing a good self-assessment. (See posts such as The Good Girl Syndrome or Hypoactive Sexual Desire and Sexual Response Cycle)

Here are some ideas:

Do sensate focus.
Have your spouse figure out what feels good for you. This is what I refer to as mutual masturbation. Communicate with him on what you like regarding pressure, speed, intensity etc. Do you enjoy manual or oral stimulation? The clitoris is the base for female orgasm. Do you know where the clitoris is located? Do you realize that it might withdraw part of the way through the SRC for some women?
If you feel comfortable masturbating, you could try it. Don't know where to start? See here. More women are successful on their own than with a partner. My personal belief is you should try with your partner to promote couple intimacy. It’s a learning process for both of you. Some women who masturbate to orgasm would rather just do it on their own than ever involve their partner. I think it’s better if the experience is shared. It's up to you.

Try different positions.
Some positions allow the clitoris to be more easily stimulated than others. Try a few. You could even have the man insert his penis slightly while also manually stimulating your clitoris. Make it a gradual process until the manual stimulation can be removed.

Create an environment to promote orgasm
If you’ve reached orgasm before, what were the circumstances? Were you in lingerie? Was it spontaneous sex? Was sex planned? Were you kid-free for the night? Were you not stressed about work, school, money etc? Just figuring it out could help. Or you could try to make circumstances similar.

Don’t focus on orgasm
Often when you are so worried about having an orgasm, you won’t orgasm. Just try to enjoy sex for a week or two without worrying about orgasm and see what happens. Focus on pleasuring your partner, connection, and closeness. See how long you can go with just foreplay.

Examine what orgasm means to you and your partner.
Do you judge a good sexual encounter by how “good” the orgasm was? How many times orgasm occurred? What about foreplay? Is sex only successful or enjoyable if orgasm is attained? Do you like to be in control and hate to lose control and orgasm? What does it mean to not orgasm? Talk about it.

Kegal Exercises
So easy to do and you can do them anywhere. Nobody will even know. Strengthening the muscles is helpful and will help give you some control.

Therapeutic Devices
Eros Clitoral Therapy Device Therapy
An Eros-CTD will increase blood flow to clitoris by acting as a vacuum

InterStim Neurostimulator
Implant that sends electrical impulses

Gwen also has some recommendations for vibrators here, here, here and here.

Statistics on Sexuality

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Many surveys have been conducted regarding sexuality.

• Kinsey Report (1947): Sample of 18,000, sample of convenience
• Masters and Johnson (1960’s): Small sample, lab setting, convenience sample
• Shere Hite Report (1976): Sample of 3,000, 3% return, women’s magazine subscribers
• Redbook: 2% return of 4,700,000 readers
• Janus Report (1993): sent to 4550, 2795 returned-61% return
• Several European and U.S. studies in 1990’s

People often wonder what's "normal". For the sake of these statistics, we will use the National Health and Social Life Survey from 1990. It's one of the best studies completed so far.

• Sample of 3,432, Ages 18-59, randomly sampled, 90 minute interviews in home & has published findings in two books (The Social Organization of Sexuality and Sex in America)

Here are some findings:

• We marry people like ourselves-class, age, religion, ethnicity, educational background—also seems to be true in terms of sexual practice
• 75% of Americans report high satisfaction with their sex life
• 84% of couples fantasize during intercourse

Thinking About Sex
Every Day

• 54% Men
• 19% Women

Few Times/Month

• 43% Men
• 67% Women

Less than 1/mo or never

4% Men

1% Women

Frequency
4+/week

• Married: 7.3%
• Single: 7.0%

2+/week

• Married: 36.1%
• Single: 28.3%

Few Times/Month

• Married: 42.5%
• Single: 36.2%

Few times/Year

• Married: 12.8%
• Single: 17.2%

Not at all

• Married: 1.3%
• Single: 11.9%

Fidelity
Never Had an Affair

• Men: 65-85%
• Women: 80%

Duration of Sexual Interaction
Less than 15mins

• 11% Men
• 15% Women

15-60 Mins

• 69% Men
• 71% Women

More than 60mins

• 20% Men
• 15% Women

Frequency of Orgasm
Always

• 75% Men
• 29% Women

Usually

• 20% Men
• 42% Women

Sometimes

• 3% Men
• 21% Women

Rarely/Never

• 2% Men
• 8% Women

Physically Pleased

• 47% Men
• 40% Women

Emotionally Satisfied

• 41% Men
• 38% Women

Practices Found Enjoyable
Vaginal Intercourse

• 83% Men
• 78% Women

Receiving Oral Sex

• 50% Men
• 33% Women

Giving Oral Sex

• 33% Men
• 37% Women

25% of both men and women have tried anal intercourse at least once

Sexual Dysfunction
3% of men and 14% of women reported pain during intercourse
8% of men and 21% of women reported that sex was not pleasurable
8% of men and 24% of women had been unable to have an orgasm
16 of men and 33 % of women reported lack of interest in sex
17% of men and 33% of women reported performance anxiety
28% of men and 10% of women reported that they climaxed too soon

If you're happy with your sex life, that's all that matters, These are just numbers.

Do you feel like you have a better-than-"normal" rockin' hot sex life?

Vulvodynia -- Reader Experience

Here's an email I received from a reader:

While my husband and I do have an AWESOME love story I think the story of when our marriage was not so rocking hot is a much better/ more needed story to tell. I've actually been trying to think of how to get my story out there somewhat annonymously. I think its important for young newlywed good girls to hear.

The hubs and I got married last December and both of us had saved ourself for eachother and we were so glad we did! We had an amazing and romantic honeymoon just like I think both of us imagined ;) However, when we got home, the first time we tried it out in our new apartment I knew something wasn't right. It burned and stung and itched and was miserable.

I wrote it off as a yeast infection and after monostat made me feel like little crawly things were inside me, I finally went to the DR. They have me the standard diflucam (not sure on the spelling!) and sent me home, even though I wasn't testing positive for yeast- they figured the monostat had killed it but I was still being bothered. That worked for a little bit but every once in a while it would still hurt either during or after.

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I went to my school's health center and got passed between general doctors and the gyno who each gave me conflicting advice. "Do it so you can get used to it (basically stop being a whimp and RELAX)" and "Don't do it- give yourself a break!" The gynocologist was the one who told us to still do it and try wierd things like putting yogurt INSIDE me (EWE!!! There are conflicting opinions on if this is actually good for you and/ or works, so if you are told to do this, make your own deicision. I just couldn't handle it so I didn't do it for very long) and baking soda soaks and stuff.

After a while I still knew something was wrong so I kept whining. The gyno finally sent me to a dermo telling me he no longer had any clue what do it. I honestly just felt like he was passing me off because he was sick of me and didn't truly believe anything was wrong.

Like I said, we were married in December, this was now March. Even when we were told to do it, I was only doing it for my husband. I hated it and it usually ended in tears. My husband was as supportive as he knew how to be but I think the mean gyno put ideas in his head that maybe I was just faking it and didn't like sex and/ or wasn't attracted to him. Poor boy- that still breaks my heart!

The dermo was much more symmpathetic but still after ruling out a few skin conditions was stumped. She took pictures and sent them to a few of her "mentors" accross the country.

However, I hadn't heard back from her in a while and the pain had become unbareable, even though we hadn't had sex in months (it was now May). In an act of desperation (and maybe inspiration) I called my health center again demanding to see another doctor NOW. I lucked in to getting an appointment with a doctor who had seen girls with my problem before. About an hour before my appointment the dermo finally called and told me what her colleagues suggested which was a disease called Vulvodynia- basically pain of the labia. I'm not quite sure exactly what it is but I know what it is not- its not an infection and not an STD.

At my appointment at the health center I told the new doctor what the dermo said and he said it sounded right and suggested I see a pelvic pain specialist in Salt Lake City. I was so grateful my husband went to all of my appointments with me and was so supportive. He still treated me like a princess and we did our best to keep the romance alive.

The dermo gave me anti-depressants that were supposed to dull the pain (and completely screwed with my mood and made me more depressed than I already was given the whole situation) and sent me to a physical therapist (most awkward experience of my life but I have heard it works for a lot of women). I tried these two solutions out since the specialist couldn't get me in for weeks. They didn't work (the therapist told me my circumstances were too severe for what she could do).

When I finally met with the specialist it was first time I felt like all of this was finally over. He saw me a few times just to confirm that this was indeed vestibulitis, a form of vulvodynia, and I ended up having surgery in July where they snipped off the hyper-sensitive skin. We just got the green light to try things out a week ago (now that we have been married 10 months and have no clue what a normal sex life is haha). Everything is fine so far and there is no more pain!! Thank goodness my story has a happy ending and I have a wonderful husband who held my hand through it all and made sure I knew that he loved me even though I felt like I couldn't show him how much I loved him.

Some stories of this disease dont' have a happy ending. My doctor told me of one girl he helped who's husband couldn't handle a temporarily sexless marriage and anulled it. But the point I want to get accross is that if something doesn't feel right- and especially if it hurts- don't be afraid to speak up. At first people might not believe you like they didn't believe me. They might tell you just to relax or lead you on a wild goose chase. Don't give up though! Don't settle for living in pain! You know your body better than anyone else- listen to it!! And fight for the help and support you need/ deserve.

Here is a video clip from the Dr. Oz show explaining What Causes Vulvodynia.

Orgasm? Hitachi Magic Wand

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Overcoming Painful Sex: A Reader Experience

Here's an experience that a reader emailed me hoping it could help others who may be dealing with similar issues.

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For me, sex, was pain. It was physically impossible for me to get him inside me at all. I've been married a little over two years and had sex for the first time 8 months ago!! Yikesabee right?! I was in a world of confusion, pain, and shame. No one ever mentioned to me that there was a possibility that I would not be able to have sex, so I was like....what's wrong with me?!! Unfortunately, even though my mother is AMAZING, I felt even more depressed after speaking to her about the problem. She told me to just "tough it out" and treated me like I was purposefully withholding sex and being immature. Most of my friends got married around the time I did and I remember one of my friends telling me that on her honeymoon her and husband got bored of having sex so much. I could have screamed. I felt completely alone.

(I should note immediately that my husband was/is the most incredibly patient, gentle, loving man in the world. He never made me feel abandoned or broken, but I felt broken compared to everyone else, so, the struggle felt solitary.)

After many months of excruciatingly painful sexual attempts, usually ending in tears (imagine what that did for our minds, hearts, and libido) I began to research. Surely I wasn't the only one in the universe with a problem like this. I went to my gyno but she was extremely unhelpful and acted like my problem was irrelevant to her. So I found myself a new Dr. That helped, but only a bit. She was a bit stumped as I had never had previous sexual experience, been the victim of a sexual attack, or raised to think sex was impure. I looked online and discovered that my condition was called "vaginismus." I found a site that sold kits to help treat it, and there were a lot of web discussions from people with my same issue, or ones very similar! Hallelujah! I was not alone! I ordered the kit and my husband and I read the book that came with it and attempted the treatment, but honestly, it did nothing for me, and I soon gave it up.

Now I felt like a failure again. I wasn't even working on my condition with the tools I had purchased! Was I the laziest person on Earth?! No. Didn't I want to have an amazing sex life??! Yes!! And that's when it came to me (and when I say "came to me" I don't mean that it came completely out of the blue out of my own wisdom; there were many, many hours of prayer and fasting that I connect with this epiphany and I do not claim any credit that belongs to Him).

What did I want? Sex? Sort of. Too me, at this point, sex=pain. What I really wanted was pleasure. I wanted to be pleasured. I had found sufficient ways to pleasure my husband, and he had been doing everything to "get" me but I realized I was always so stressed out because I knew eventually I would have to try sex. And I would fail. Thus I never felt very pleasured. So. I decided, screw sex. Screw it! I was going to get mine!

And that's what my husband and I did. For months. It required quite a bit of time after fooling around, to take deep breaths and push my stresses away, and then we would begin pleasuring me. This was achieved almost completely by my bff, vibrator. Ladies, if you do not have a vibrator, you must have super orgasm power, because I learned real fast, that was my ticket to success. (Gwen has great posts about this and discusses why this works so well, read them!)

Anyhow, once my brain was trained to enjoy pleasure from my husband, we introduced "the main guy" to the proceedings. He mostly just hung back and didn't do much, but eventually we just concentrated on keeping him near the base of my vagina, and then slowly, over weeks and weeks, worked him further and further in. My brain, and vagina, learned that even when he is around, pleasure doth still abound. And in fact, pretty soon, he was giving me a lot of pleasure on his own. Then one day, after all our hard work building up to it (breathing deep, clearing my mind, vibrating for the life of me) he was in! And it was a miracle! We rejoiced exceedingly!

I gave myself about a week and a half before I agreed to try again (not wanting to give myself too much pressure to perform, for I learned that pressure is a sex stopper). We did it again! And again! Until now, I can get him in fairly quickly, ya know, for me. We are insanely grateful!! I feel like so many people take sex for granted. I even assumed when I first got married that sex was just part of the package deal. Oh boy was I wrong, right? But my husband and I appreciate being able to have sex together more than almost all the couples we know. We worked our tails off for it and we treasure the fruits of our labor.

Since then, I have spoken with many girls about this issue because I don't want anyone to ever feel as alone as I felt or to have to taste of that despair. As it turns out, no one has a perfect sex life like I had originally assumed, go figure. We can all work to be better, more giving, and most importantly, open to pleasure. I am so thrilled about Gwen in Love because she is open and excited about sex! I do not believe that there is anything to be gained by keeping silent on this topic, especially after my experience. Let's enjoy the blessing we've been given to experience and give pleasure and never take it for granted!

Sexual Dysfunction Quiz

Here is a little quiz I found on Web MD regarding sexual dysfunction. It may provide further insight for you. Click here.

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Ask the Audience #3: Male Sexual Dysfunction

From a reader:

I have a problem that I think would be opposite of most women.

My husband is not into sex -- at all. I thought I would be the one having to tell him no but I've been rejected so many times I've lost count. I've pretty much given up. We have sex maybe once a month -- maybe less. And basically we have it when he is in the mood -- which is usually in the middle of the night. Maybe he has dreams occasionally that turn him on?

Our sex life was pretty good until about a year and a half after we were married. Then he came down with a chronic illness. Plus he works 2 full time jobs and is involved in church and other community activities. He's so tired, in pain, and stressed most of the time. He just doesn't have the time or the interest. I'm guessing the medication he is on has lowered is sex drive.

Is there any hope? I want it so bad! He doesn't really like talking about it. And I'm the most unsexy woman in the world. What can I do to help spark his interest??

Culturally, we're programmed to think that men are always ready to go sexually, and that it's always the women who want to forgo sex. However, this article estimates that 20-25% of men suffer from low sexual desire and hypothesizes about some possible causes. Erectile dysfunction (ED) can also inhibit a couple's sex life. Low desire can be the cause of ED, or ED can result in low desire -- it's the whole chicken and the egg conundrum. You can read about erectile dysfunction here and here.

Our sexual relationship, just like any other aspect of a relationship, evolves and changes over time. There can be bumps in the road as we work to improve this part of our relationship. Sexual hurdles are bound to come and go.

What are your loving ideas to help this couple through this difficult time?